Aris Jones X Reader One Shots

Settling

Aris’s P.O.V

I would never mean to hurt her. At the end of the day, I do love her. I have fallen for her. From skipping stones over the lake, to staying up all night to talk, to saving each other in the Scorch, there was this bond that nobody else could understand.

For some reason, it just hit me. As I woke up to her beside me, resting her head on my neck while asleep, I realized something.

I had been so distracted by how she's my entire world that I hadn't realized what's in the back of my mind.

Rachel.

I was still wondering what life would be like with Rachel. I would still think about what it would be like to wake up beside her, to hold her, to be in love with her forever.

That's not fair. Just yesterday we were talking about having a family. I can't be thinking about that while thinking of Rachel.

It was the truth though. At the end of the day, I had found someone who I loved just enough to be happy with.

Carefully pushing her away, I looked at her sleeping figure, the peacefulness of the way life was finally a dream.

Ignoring the pang of hurt in my chest, I walked down the hall. As if on autopilot, I sat down at the kitchen table, staring at the closed window as I regretted everything. Not her. I could never regret Y/N. I do love her. I do care for her.

It's just not the way it should be, the way she deserves.

“Aris? You okay?”a voice that I still loved asked, putting her hand on my shoulder. Not knowing what to say, I laid my head on the table as everything I didn't want to feel, everything I pushed down, flooded through me.

“Do you want to talk about it?”She offered, pulling out the chair next to me and taking a seat. Putting what was always a comforting hand on my knee, I could feel her loving gaze and smile. Until it became too much for her to even glance at me, I raised my head, wiping my tears as I did.

“I’m so sorry,”I promised.

“Whatever it is, it's okay. We’ll figure it out.”

“No. No, it's not okay.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m sorry. I’m really, really sorry,”I repeated.

“It's okay. Just take a breath and tell me what's going on.”

“I do love you. That's why I can't keep doing this to you. That's why I can't hurt you.”

“Hurt me? What could you ever do to hurt me?”

“You are good enough. You're perfect, but I screwed up. I really, really screwed up,”I uttered, wiping my eyes as more tears fell.

“It's okay. Just tell me, and I’ll help with whatever it was.”

“I’m still in love with Rachel. I love you, but I love her too. I love her just a little more, and I didn't know. I’m sorry. I love you, and I’m sorry I did this,”I blurted out, not looking at her as the guilt pressed on my shoulders. Ten years. Ten wonderful years, for what? For this?

“I-I know that. I’ve always known that.”

“What?”I asked in disbelief. Looking up, I saw her wearing this bittersweet smile despite everything.

“I knew you were settling. I just thought you did too.”

“Why would you want that? Why would you be okay with that?”