It's Sunday. Which usually means church and god which i honestly love both. I think to me that its beautiful to see people in church sing about a man they all have faith in but they don't know personally. If i come across other people that are different from me meaning if they are gay or anything else of that nature i don't judge them. Why? its because i don't want to. It's not fair to just think things about someone that aren't true when you don't know them or haven't given them a chance. Judgmental people have problems unknown to themselves which in turn makes them feel insecure about themselves. It's a shameful circle of pain to be honest.
My family.....are broken in places and they try to repair those empty places mostly all the time. My mom side has internal war and my dad side well....i don't care about my dad side,more on that later. My mom is going through complications with health and right now its caused her to take really painful meds with difficult side effects. I know what she is going through because i have experienced the med before. It's sad seeing your mother in pain or just plain discomfort. Now about my father. I....have complications with my father,i have hardly any really early memories of him any good ones to be exact. My father signed over custody of me and my sister to my mom because he didn't want to deal with kids namely me. I was sick most of the time but now that i'm older and not as sick he comes and he picks me up like nothing ever happened in the past. I have very mediocre feelings about him to be honest i like him, i hardly even love him but if something did happen to him i would be sad of course he's still my dad i just don't love him as much as i do my mom. People have come and gone out of my life and its honestly....sad and discomforting. I have recently discovered i have an underline problem with people leaving me and its lead to me having anxiety, i would have to say that it started when my dad left me when i was two weeks and then just after that a constant string of people leaving me. There were times when i was really close to having an actual friendship or relationship and then poof they were gone with a reason obviously. I've felt that these people have left my life and i should be happy and i am just i wish that it won't happen anymore.
YOU ARE READING
"Diary"
عشوائيI've done diaries in the past but I got the urge to do one again because of mad men. I went straight to the episode of don on his own in his apartment ,writing down his thoughts.
