Stitching Hearts [Hoennshipping]

Rent

May's Point Of View

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Different. I felt different. The way how dark my room was even if it was daylight outside made my heart and soul feel dark. It didn't suit a girl like me, but at the same time─ I grew to be accustomed to it. I knew I was being consumed by the shadows, but I didn't really care. Mom always came in once in a while, leaving me a plate filled with all my favorite foods. As mouth-watering they were, I didn't bring myself to devour it. Instead, I left it outside the door, leaving a note that said, "I'm sorry."

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Mom tried to console me with words that heartbreaks and cheats are apart of this world, and it was what made it so terribly cruel. She spoke with a soft tone, describing that it stung, burned, killed. She explained that there were so many people in the world that cheated and played, but it was only normal. Like the deep fiery depths of Hell, it burned to feel like you've been played with; controlled like a puppet. Like the venomous-filled fangs of a snake's bite, it slowly and painfully kills you with no mercy whatsoever. It leaves you with the scorching thoughts and feelings that sometimes─ it was overwhelming. But even Mom said it was normal, and nothing could change it.

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Sometimes Mom would sugarcoat everything toward me, extending the truth and lies a little too far that I didn't quite learn the correct way. But for this, she replaced the sweet, sweet sugar with a sour tang. The sour tang known as the real truth. There was no sugar in this conversation, and I didn't mind it at all. Mom was only trying to tell me this world is cruel, though as if I didn't know that already.

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The next morning, I forced myself to get ready for school, to eat the plain breakfast that I had almost every morning before heading out. No, I was not over what Brendan thought was funny. I wasn't over with playing his games and tricks; this was all for Mom and Dad, in hopes of making them not worry about their troublesome daughter. With me having a disease that I already know I'll die from, I couldn't cease my education. It was already too much for me to have even survive the school years, but I did, and it was all for them.

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Walking was slower than I had remembered, and it made all the time more soothing. There was a nice blend of sun and clouds, one another colliding as they traveled, though none of them really interacted with each other. The baby-blue skies were the perfect hue, its existence matching nicely with the atmosphere. My own brunette strands flew elegantly with the winds, hand reaching to grasp at them gently and settle it down. Shoes ceased where they stood, my head craning upwards to take a look at the building right in front of my eyes.

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Is my memory fading, I wondered. The inquire came immediately as my pupils grew large to the school, the one my memory couldn't function correctly. It was as if I never came to this building, never even seen it, heard of it─ all seemed too foreign. Inside, I knew that I had been out of school for too long that all memories, even if they weren't the best, had washed away. The one thing I could remember were the words that Courtney spat out, those sickening words about how Brendan was just someone just as sick. The words about how I was a fool to have fallen for it, and I couldn't have agreed more. I was the fool here, and no one could tell me anything to replace it.

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Checking the time, I sighed as I came here all too early for me to even sit in the classrooms. Glancing at the poorly wrapped wound of mine, I noticed how bloody and revolting it looked. Scolding myself for the lack of attention to my injury, I managed to take the bandages and rewrap it tightly. It didn't look half as bad, though I wished I had remembered to redo it before I came. After the whole situation, even I wasn't thinking right about anything. Everyone knew me as that one girl who kept her cool, was calm even when under pressure, and spoke with a mature voice and a mature stance. But nowadays, I was the one who could start a fight, could flash out on her anger, and could be the one everyone was afraid of.