Timeless Ties || Volturi Kings

46. Lost Time

I'm not afraid of the dark
But leave the lights on now
What was hidden is what has been concealed
And what was promised, no one really promised

— Legião Urbana (adapted translation from Tempo Perdido)

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As soon as she finished reading the letter, Alessia had to contend with her whirlwind of emotions.

She didn't like the feeling, so she set the paper aside. Needing something to do, she reached for the envelope it came in. Without thinking, she began folding it, turning the paper over and over in her fingers until it took the shape of a tiny, delicate crane. The repetitive motions of making origami slowly began to soothe her, distracting her from the storm of emotions swirling inside her. As the tension in her chest eased and the tears welling up in her eyes subsided, she stared at the finished crane in her hand. Feeling more composed, she finally returned to the letter, her emotions now rigorously suppressed, tucked away deep inside so she wouldn't have to deal with the overwhelming feelings that had threatened to consume her.

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In the end, Alessia spent the entire night and early morning dissecting every detail of the letter. She intentionally skipped over the parts that stirred her emotions, choosing instead to focus on anything that might comfort her or offer useful information. She assured herself that she would deal with the less urgent matters later — she was determined to avoid anything that could cause further turmoil. Already on edge just by being in her father's house, where she had been attacked right outside, she knew she couldn't handle more emotional strain at the moment.

Because of this, Alessia couldn't even begin to entertain the extreme measures her future self had taken expressly to push her into talking to someone and confronting her emotions. The very idea of opening up to anyone felt not only uncomfortable but completely out of the question, despite the subtle tug on her heartstrings from future-Alessia's words — a tug she refused to explore. Trusting someone with her deepest feelings felt foreign and unsettling. Even if she did trust someone that much, the thought of baring her emotions was something she simply couldn't picture herself doing.

The very list of people Alessia could possibly talk to was already short and full of complications. Julia, her best friend, might be the only person who could even begin to believe her story, but the risks far outweighed any potential benefit. Confiding in Julia wasn't just a personal risk — especially with Alessia's gift in the mix — it also endangered the safety and secrecy of an entire community of supernatural beings that Alessia had only recently confirmed were real. The mere thought of this knowledge slipping out sent a chill down her spine. She didn't need to imagine the disastrous consequences — she knew they'd be catastrophic. Humanity had a long history of condemning what it didn't understand.

Hence, with Julia out of the picture, the only other people Alessia could talk to were, essentially, no one.

Even if she shifted her focus from those she trusted to those who knew about the supernatural, the only options left were Aro, Caius, or Marcus. And, well, the idea of speaking to them was beyond unimaginable. It presented an entirely different kind of risk — one she had no intention of taking. Alessia didn't trust them in the slightest, and the thought of sharing something as personal as her emotions with them was unthinkable. Exposing her vulnerabilities to those who had already tried — and, to some extent, succeeded — in manipulating her made her instinctively recoil. No, Alessia would handle this alone, as she always had.

Furthermore, Alessia couldn't shake the overwhelming mix of rage and heartbreak she felt toward her supposed soulmates. Despite everything — betraying her, trying to manipulate her, and never once showing up in her life — they were still alive, existing in the same moment as she was. What stung even more was that they had made enough enemies to drag her into their mess, leaving her future self powerless to change the outcome, even with the ability to time travel. And yet, they hadn't even bothered to send her an apology, not even the tiniest acknowledgment of their wrongdoing.