mute

chapter 9

The next day, Billie was discharged from the hospital. The doctors said her body had stabilized and she was well enough to go home, but the exhaustion from the previous day's events weighed heavily on her. Her muscles were sore from the violent tics, and emotionally, she felt raw. The severity of the tic attack had left her shaken, and though she was relieved to be out of the hospital, something inside her still felt unsettled.

When Billie and her family arrived home, the house was quiet. Odessa had gone home to give Billie some space, but she had promised to check in later. Finneas stayed close, as usual, but even his comforting presence couldn’t ease the rising tension inside Billie. The events of the past few days had thrown everything off. The hospital visit, the loud noises, the bright lights—it was all too much for her.

She had felt it before—a deep, growing pressure. The feeling of everything being too overwhelming, too loud, too fast. Billie had learned to recognize the warning signs of an autistic meltdown, but no matter how aware she was, stopping it felt impossible. She had used all her energy just trying to get through the hospital ordeal, and now, back at home, her mind was racing. The weight of it all pressed down on her until it became unbearable.

Billie sat in her room, her hands shaking as she tried to breathe through the building anxiety. Every sound seemed amplified, every small movement around her sending a jolt through her system. Her thoughts spiraled—fear, frustration, and anger swirling inside her, becoming too much to contain.

She felt the familiar loss of control over her emotions. The first thing to go was her ability to communicate. Her thoughts blurred together, becoming too overwhelming to organize into signs or any form of expression. The meltdown hit like a tidal wave.

Billie lashed out, her arms swinging wildly, her fists hitting the wall beside her bed. The impact sent a shock of pain through her hands, but it did nothing to calm the storm inside her. Her legs kicked out at her desk, knocking over the chair with a loud crash. The room felt too small, too confined, as her emotions boiled over, and she couldn’t stop herself.

Hearing the commotion from downstairs, Maggie rushed to Billie’s room. “Billie!” she called, her voice full of concern as she opened the door.

But Billie couldn’t respond. Her body was out of control, her movements erratic as she hit and kicked anything within reach. Her mind was overwhelmed, completely consumed by the sensory overload and emotional turmoil. Maggie moved closer, but Billie’s arm swung out in a wild motion, accidentally hitting her mother’s arm. Maggie stumbled back in shock, her eyes widening with concern.

Patrick, hearing the noise, quickly followed Maggie into the room. “Billie, it’s okay. We’re here,” he said, trying to keep his voice calm despite the growing panic.

But Billie was too far gone to register the words. Her mind was overloaded, her body still reacting on instinct. Her legs kicked out again, this time catching Patrick in the leg. He winced but didn’t move away. He knew this wasn’t his daughter’s fault. This was what happened when the world became too much for her to handle.

Finneas, hearing the crash from his room, rushed in next. He had seen Billie go through meltdowns before, but this one was more intense than usual. The stress of the tic attack, the hospital visit, and the disruption to her routine had pushed her over the edge.

Finneas cautiously approached her, moving slowly so as not to startle her further. “Billie, it’s me,” he said softly, signing as best he could. “I’m here. You’re safe.”

But Billie couldn’t stop. Her fists slammed into the wall again, and her body continued to twist and flail as the meltdown took control. She felt trapped in her own body, unable to make it stop, unable to escape the sensory overload that was drowning her.

Maggie and Patrick exchanged helpless glances, unsure of what to do. They had seen Billie go through meltdowns before, but this one felt different—more severe, more uncontrollable. They wanted to help, but getting too close could make things worse.

After a few more minutes of chaos, Billie’s body began to tire. Exhaustion slowly took over, and her movements became less aggressive, though the emotional storm inside her raged on. She sat on the floor, her chest rising and falling rapidly as she tried to catch her breath.

Finneas knelt beside her, giving her the space she needed but staying close enough to remind her that she wasn’t alone. He didn’t say anything at first—he knew that words wouldn’t help right now. Instead, he reached out and gently held her hand, his presence a steady source of comfort.

“You don’t have to go through this alone,” he signed slowly, his eyes filled with understanding. “I’m here.”

Billie didn’t respond immediately, her body still trembling from the intensity of the meltdown. But slowly, the storm inside her began to subside. The noise in her head quieted, and her breathing steadied. She looked at Finneas, her eyes heavy with exhaustion, and gave a small, shaky nod.

Maggie and Patrick stayed by the door, watching as Finneas gently helped Billie calm down. They knew that right now, Finneas was the only one who could reach her. The bond between brother and sister had always been strong, and in moments like this, that connection was what Billie needed most.

After a long moment of silence, Billie finally signed, “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

Finneas shook his head, his expression soft. “We know. It’s okay.”

Billie’s shoulders sagged, the weight of guilt still pressing down on her. She hated feeling out of control, hated that her meltdowns could hurt the people she loved. But Finneas was patient, as always, waiting until Billie was ready to talk again.

After what felt like an eternity, Billie sighed, the tension slowly leaving her body. She was still exhausted, still shaken, but the worst had passed. And even though she felt terrible about what had happened, she knew that with Finneas by her side, she wasn’t alone.

Finneas stayed with her for the rest of the afternoon, quietly playing music in the background while Billie lay on her bed, too tired to move. The soft melodies from his guitar helped calm her, a familiar and soothing presence in the aftermath of the storm.

Maggie and Patrick eventually came in too, sitting by Billie’s side and letting her know, without words, that everything was okay. They didn’t push her to talk, didn’t try to fix everything immediately. They knew she needed time to recover, and they were willing to give her that space.

As the day wore on, Billie slowly started to feel a little better. The guilt was still there, but it wasn’t as overwhelming as before. She knew her family understood, even if she sometimes felt like a burden.

And for the first time in what felt like days, she allowed herself to breathe, knowing that no matter how hard things got, she had people who loved her—people who would always stand by her, no matter what.