mute

chapter 10

Chapter: Finding Comfort

The next day, Billie felt a bit lighter than she had in a while. After all the chaos and stress of the past week, she had something to look forward to—Odessa was coming over. The two had grown close ever since they met at dance, and Billie found a rare sense of comfort around her. Odessa knew sign language because of her deaf brother, which meant she could communicate with Billie in a way that felt natural and easy. It was something Billie didn’t often have outside of her family.

That afternoon, when Odessa arrived, Billie felt her usual tension start to ease. It wasn’t that the overwhelming feelings disappeared entirely, but Odessa’s presence helped ground her in a way that few people could.

They spent time in Billie’s room, listening to music, which was one of the ways Billie often calmed herself. The soft rhythms of the songs seemed to create a bubble of peace around them, and Billie felt herself relax into the moment.

As they sat on the bed, Odessa wrapped an arm around Billie’s shoulders, pulling her into a gentle hug. It wasn’t something Billie was used to. Physical contact could sometimes feel too much—overwhelming, even. But with Odessa, it felt different. It was like she understood exactly what Billie needed without having to say a word.

Billie rested her head against Odessa’s shoulder, feeling the warmth of her friend beside her. It wasn’t a big moment in the grand scheme of things, but for Billie, it was huge. Odessa’s calm energy felt soothing, and Billie couldn’t help but let out a small, happy stim—a soft hum she hadn’t realized she was making. She flapped her hands gently, a reflexive way of releasing the happy energy building inside her. Odessa didn’t say anything, just continued to hold her, accepting Billie’s stims as part of who she was.

The longer they sat together, the more Billie felt the joyful energy rise in her. She began to rock slightly, a repetitive motion that helped her focus and feel safe. Odessa noticed but didn’t try to stop it. Instead, she smiled softly and ran her fingers through Billie’s hair, which made Billie let out a small, content giggle.

Billie’s stimming grew a little more intense as the joy of the moment settled in. Her hands flapped faster, and she tapped her fingers rhythmically on her legs. It was a release of pure, unfiltered emotion—her way of showing how much she appreciated Odessa’s presence without needing to say anything.

Odessa, understanding the significance of Billie’s stims, didn’t try to calm her down or make her stop. She knew that this was Billie’s way of expressing happiness, and she wanted to encourage it. So they stayed like that, Billie’s stimming becoming more energetic with each passing minute, her body finding a way to express what her words couldn’t.

After a while, Billie and Odessa shifted on the bed, lying down next to each other. Billie curled up close, feeling safe in the warmth of Odessa’s embrace. The world felt a little quieter in that moment, a little easier to handle. Odessa’s hand rested gently on Billie’s back, and the rhythmic pattern of her breathing helped Billie relax even more.

When Odessa had to leave later that evening, Billie’s heart sank a little. The peace she felt with Odessa was hard to find anywhere else, and the thought of her leaving brought back a flicker of anxiety. But Odessa promised she’d come over again soon, signing to Billie, "I'm always here for you."

Billie gave her a small smile and waved as Odessa left the house. For a moment, things felt okay. But it wasn’t long after Odessa left that Billie’s body began to tense up again. The house felt too quiet now, too still. The anxiety that had been kept at bay while Odessa was there started creeping back in, and Billie’s body reacted.

Her tics, which had been relatively mild throughout the afternoon, suddenly flared up. Her shoulder jerked violently, and her head snapped to the side repeatedly. Her hands clenched into fists, shaking uncontrollably. The tics came in waves, each one more intense than the last. Billie’s body moved without her control, her arms jerking and hitting the side of her bed, her legs kicking out in random directions.

Maggie and Patrick heard the familiar sounds of Billie’s tics and rushed to her room. They found her in the midst of a severe tic attack, her body thrashing as she struggled to regain control.

“Billie, we’re here,” Maggie said softly, moving closer to her daughter. But Billie was too far into the attack to acknowledge her mother’s presence. Her head continued to jerk, and her fists slammed into the mattress with each uncontrollable movement.

Patrick tried to gently guide her away from the edge of the bed to prevent her from hurting herself, but Billie’s tics were too strong. It wasn’t that she wanted to resist—her body was simply beyond her control.

“We need to call Odessa,” Maggie said, worry in her voice. “She seems to calm down more when Odessa’s here.”

Patrick nodded and quickly dialed Odessa’s number. Within minutes, Odessa was on her way back to Billie’s house. In the meantime, Maggie and Patrick stayed by Billie’s side, doing their best to keep her safe without overwhelming her.

When Odessa arrived, she immediately went to Billie’s room. As soon as Billie saw her, there was a flicker of recognition, even through the intensity of the tic attack. Odessa approached slowly, sitting beside Billie on the bed. She didn’t try to stop Billie’s tics—she knew that wasn’t possible—but she gently placed her hand on Billie’s shoulder, offering a steady, calming presence.

“It’s okay,” Odessa signed, keeping her movements slow and deliberate. “I’m here.”

Billie’s tics didn’t stop right away, but with Odessa’s calm presence, the intensity began to lessen. Her jerks became less violent, and the thrashing of her arms and legs slowed. Odessa stayed beside her, gently stroking Billie’s arm and signing words of reassurance whenever Billie’s eyes flicked toward her.

Eventually, the tic attack passed. Billie lay back on the bed, utterly exhausted, her body trembling from the aftershocks. But Odessa stayed with her, holding her hand and letting her know that everything was okay.

Maggie and Patrick exchanged relieved glances from the doorway, grateful for Odessa’s ability to help Billie in a way no one else could. They knew that Billie’s journey with her autism and Tourette’s would always have its challenges, but seeing her find someone like Odessa—someone who understood and accepted her without question—made everything feel a little more hopeful.

As Billie’s breathing steadied, she looked over at Odessa, her expression soft and full of gratitude. She didn’t need to sign anything—Odessa already knew. And in that quiet, peaceful moment, Billie felt safe again, knowing that she wasn’t alone.