Chapter: A Hand to Hold
The next day, Odessa went with Billie to her therapy appointment. Odessa held Billie’s hand as they walked into the office, sensing her girlfriend's nervous energy. Billie hadn’t said much since the previous day’s intense tic attack, and Odessa knew how much effort Billie was putting into just being there.
Once they settled into the therapy room, Billie adjusted her ear defenders and signed, "Nervous." Odessa squeezed her hand and signed back, "I'm here. We’re doing this together."
The therapist, Dr. Lopez, smiled warmly. "It’s great to see you again, Billie—and welcome, Odessa. I'm so glad you’re here to support Billie."
Odessa nodded, giving Billie an encouraging smile. As Dr. Lopez began the session, she asked gentle questions, helping Billie unpack some of the heavy emotions she had been carrying since her injury. The topic was sensitive, and Billie’s emotions stirred, bringing an overwhelming pressure inside her chest. Her tics started to bubble up.
It began slowly, with small, involuntary jerks of her head and a few vocal tics—soft "hmm" sounds and a gentle tapping of her fingers against her leg. But soon, the tics grew more intense. Her arm jerked, and her body shifted with each movement, until the vocal tics got louder, and her head snapped to the side.
"Hmph! Ugh!" Billie’s voice strained, her hands clenching tightly as her body continued to twitch. She felt herself spiraling, and the harder she tried to stop the tics, the more they built up, like a flood breaking through a dam.
Odessa, sensing Billie’s panic, leaned closer and gently touched her arm. "Billie, it's okay," she said softly, her presence calm and steady.
Dr. Lopez watched, remaining calm as well. “It’s alright, Billie. Let’s take it slow. Just breathe, however you can.”
Odessa gently placed a hand on Billie’s shoulder, anchoring her in the moment. "You’re safe here," she whispered. "Take your time. I’m right here."
Billie’s tics persisted, but Odessa's calming presence helped ground her. Odessa rubbed gentle circles on her back, whispering reassurances. "Just breathe, Billie. Let the tics come and go. You’re okay.”
Dr. Lopez also spoke softly, saying, "We can pause anytime you need. There’s no rush, Billie."
Slowly, Billie’s body began to relax. The tics didn’t disappear entirely, but they softened enough that Billie could take a few shaky breaths. She looked at Odessa, her eyes filled with gratitude and exhaustion.
As she caught her breath, Dr. Lopez continued, "Billie, it’s clear you’ve been holding in so much. You don’t have to fight this alone. Both Odessa and I are here to support you however you need."
Odessa gave Billie’s hand another squeeze. "Absolutely. You don’t have to say anything if it’s too hard. I can be here with you just like this."
With Odessa’s steady hand in hers, Billie nodded, grateful for the support.
As Billie’s tics gradually subsided, she slumped back in her seat, visibly drained but grateful for Odessa’s support. The room felt calmer again, but Billie’s body ached from the physical strain of the attack. Odessa noticed the exhaustion in Billie’s eyes and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, letting her lean against her.
"That was a lot, Billie," Dr. Lopez said gently. "You did an incredible job pushing through. I know it wasn’t easy."
Billie gave a slight nod and signed, "Tired… feels heavy." It was difficult to fully express the emotional weight she carried, especially after the overwhelming experience of the appointment and her body’s relentless response.
Dr. Lopez, picking up on Billie’s lingering tension, suggested, "Perhaps today we can end with some grounding techniques to help you feel more relaxed. What do you think, Billie? We could practice some things you and Odessa can use together on tougher days."
Odessa glanced at Billie with a supportive smile, giving her a gentle nudge of encouragement. “What do you think?” she asked softly.
Billie’s hand moved in a small, shaky nod, signaling her agreement. Odessa took her hand, squeezing it gently as Dr. Lopez guided them through breathing exercises and grounding techniques. Billie’s eyes remained focused on a spot on the wall, her breath uneven as she attempted to follow the steps. Odessa whispered reminders to her, staying close so that Billie knew she wasn’t alone.
By the end of the session, Billie felt marginally lighter, as if some of the tension had peeled away. She signed a quiet “thank you” to Dr. Lopez before she and Odessa left the office together.
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As they walked to the car, Billie’s movements were slower, her shoulders slumped with exhaustion. She had her ear defenders on tightly, and Odessa kept an arm around her, occasionally murmuring words of encouragement.
Once they reached Odessa’s car, Billie paused before getting in, staring off into the distance. The session had been overwhelming, bringing up memories and emotions she hadn’t wanted to face. For a moment, she felt a pang of anger and frustration rise in her chest.
Odessa gently touched Billie’s arm. "Do you want to sit here for a bit?" she asked, sensing Billie’s hesitation. Billie nodded, signing, “Yes… need air.”
They sat together in the car, with Odessa giving Billie a moment of silence to process everything. Billie looked out the window, focusing on the rhythm of her own breathing as she tried to settle her thoughts. The familiar presence of Odessa beside her gave her a small sense of security.
Eventually, Billie took out her phone and typed a message, showing it to Odessa: "I feel lost… like everything is too big, and I can’t keep up."
Odessa read the message carefully, her face softening. “I can’t imagine what that must feel like,” she replied, her tone gentle. “But you don’t have to face it alone, Billie. We’ll get through this. One step at a time.”
Billie nodded, feeling a glimmer of comfort in Odessa’s words.
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Back at home, Billie felt emotionally drained. She avoided eye contact with her family and went straight to her room, closing the door behind her. The session had stirred up so much that she felt as if her thoughts were spiraling out of control. Her room, usually a safe haven, now felt overwhelming.
Billie grabbed her weighted blanket, pulling it over her shoulders, hoping the pressure would help ground her. She reached for her fidget toys, running her fingers over the textures to calm herself. Despite everything, a low-level anxiety buzzed under her skin, and the familiar rhythm of her vocal tics began to creep back.
“Hm. Ah. Tss,” she muttered involuntarily, feeling the tics taking over in short bursts.
Odessa checked in on Billie later that evening, knocking softly before entering. Billie’s shoulders relaxed slightly when she saw Odessa, grateful for her friend’s calming presence.
“Rough day, huh?” Odessa asked, sitting beside her. Billie nodded, managing a faint smile.
They sat in comfortable silence, Odessa offering her presence as Billie processed her emotions. With time, Billie started to feel a bit more settled, the sense of peace Odessa brought gradually easing her racing thoughts.
As the evening went on, Billie eventually fell asleep, Odessa quietly leaving her room, feeling relieved that Billie could finally rest.
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mute
Fanfictionbillie has severe autism and is mute. as she grows old she meets a friend. Billie is always bullied in school for being mute and having Tourette's.
