mute

chapter 35

Chapter: The Day After

The day after therapy, Billie woke up feeling emotionally and physically drained. The intense session lingered in her mind like a shadow she couldn’t shake. Lying in bed, she clutched her soft blanket and stared at the ceiling, trying to gather enough energy to face the day.

Odessa had stayed over the night before, and when Billie finally emerged from her room, Odessa greeted her with a warm smile and a signed, Good morning, beautiful. Billie smiled faintly but didn’t sign back. Instead, she shuffled into the kitchen where her mom was preparing breakfast.

“Morning, Billie,” her mom said softly, careful not to overwhelm her. Billie waved slightly and sat down at the table. The smell of scrambled eggs and toast filled the air, and Billie felt her stomach turn. The textures of eggs had always been difficult for her, and the idea of trying to eat them today felt impossible.

Her mom noticed her hesitation. “Would you like something else?” she asked, signing alongside her words.

Billie shook her head, not wanting to cause a fuss. Odessa, sitting across from her, noticed Billie’s growing discomfort and gave her a reassuring look. You can tell us what you need. It’s okay, Odessa signed.

But Billie didn’t respond. The noise in the kitchen—the clinking of plates, the hum of the fridge, the sound of running water—started to build in her head. It mixed with the sight of the eggs on her plate, the overwhelming smell of butter, and the texture of the toast crumbs on her fingers.

The Meltdown

Billie’s breathing quickened, and her hands began to shake. She pushed her plate away abruptly, causing it to clatter against the table.

“Billie, are you okay?” Odessa signed, her face full of concern.

Billie stood up suddenly, knocking her chair over in the process. She clutched her head, letting out a low groan that quickly escalated into a scream. Tears streamed down her face as she began pacing the room, hitting her thighs with her fists and pulling at her hair.

Her mom approached cautiously. “Billie, sweetheart, it’s okay,” she said, signing alongside her words. But when she got too close, Billie flailed her arms, unintentionally swatting her mom’s hand away.

Odessa stayed calm, signing to Billie from a safe distance. I’m here. You’re safe. Let’s breathe together.

But Billie was too far into the meltdown to respond. She sank to the floor, rocking back and forth, her cries filling the kitchen. The sounds, smells, and textures had overwhelmed her to the point of no return.

Her dad entered the room, clearly alarmed, but Odessa quickly gestured for him to stay back. After nearly twenty minutes of tears, rocking, and hitting her legs, Billie began to slow down. Her cries turned to sniffles, and her rocking became less frantic.

After the Meltdown

Once Billie was calm enough, Odessa handed her the weighted blanket they kept nearby and sat beside her, making sure not to touch her until Billie initiated it. Slowly, Billie leaned into Odessa, allowing her to drape an arm around her shoulders.

I’m sorry, Billie signed weakly.

You don’t have to apologize, Odessa signed back. Your feelings are valid.

Her mom approached again, this time with a warm cup of tea. Billie took it with trembling hands, nodding slightly in thanks. She sipped it slowly, the familiar warmth helping to ground her.

Self-Care

Later that day, Billie decided to take extra steps to avoid another meltdown. She signed to Odessa, I need to reset. Odessa nodded, understanding immediately.