mute

chapter 19

Chapter: Overwhelmed by Reality

As the evening progressed, Billie slowly began to come out of her regressive state. The comforting haze she had been in, where she felt small and safe, was fading. Reality came crashing down, and the overwhelming realization that her family had seen her like this—in a diaper, completely vulnerable—filled her with embarrassment and shame. Her heart raced, her mind buzzing with anxiety.

Her breathing quickened as she glanced around at her parents and Finneas, standing nearby, their concern etched into their faces. It was too much. Her chest tightened, and the sensory overload hit her all at once—the lights seemed too bright, the room felt too loud, and the air itself seemed to press against her skin. Everything was too much.

Billie’s hands trembled, and she felt her body tense as the meltdown began to take hold. Her eyes welled up with tears, and her hands moved to her hair, tugging at it hard. The pain of pulling at her scalp was something tangible, something to hold onto in the whirlwind of emotions swirling inside her. But it wasn’t enough to ground her; it wasn’t enough to stop the storm.

“Billie, it’s okay,” Maggie said, her voice soft but filled with worry. She moved toward her daughter, but Billie recoiled, shaking her head violently.

Billie couldn’t find the words. Everything felt wrong—too exposed, too overwhelming. Her tics began to break through: “Eh! Tsk! Hm-hm!” The vocal tics came in rapid succession, her body jerking slightly with each one.

Finneas watched helplessly as Billie’s meltdown escalated. She gripped her hair even tighter, pulling out strands in frustration. Her legs began to twitch as her body tried to cope with the overload, kicking out lightly at the floor.

“I can’t… I can’t…” Billie tried to sign, but her hands were shaking too much to form the words properly. Her attempts to communicate only added to her frustration, making her pull at her hair harder.

“We need to get her ear defenders,” Patrick said quickly, rushing to find them.

Maggie moved closer, draping Billie’s weighted blanket over her, hoping the familiar pressure would help calm her down. But the blanket didn’t seem to have its usual effect; Billie was too far into the meltdown. Her vocal tics grew louder and more frequent, each one punctuating the silence of the room. “Tsk! Eh! Hm-hm!”

Patrick returned with Billie’s ear defenders, gently placing them over her ears. The muffled sound helped slightly, but the meltdown still raged on inside her. She continued pulling at her hair, her body trembling from the overload.

Finneas looked at Maggie with wide, concerned eyes. “We need to call Odessa. She’s the only one who’s been able to help Billie when she gets like this.”

Maggie quickly dialed Odessa’s number, her voice urgent as she explained the situation. “Billie’s having a meltdown, and we can’t get her to calm down. Can you come over?”

Within minutes, Odessa was at the door, her face filled with concern. She could hear Billie’s vocal tics from the hallway—“Eh! Tsk! Hm-hm!”—and the frantic movement of her body as she struggled with the overload.

Odessa went straight to Billie’s room, finding her curled up in the corner, tugging at her hair and rocking back and forth. The tics continued: “Eh! Tsk! Hm-hm!” Each one accompanied by a sharp jerk of her body.

“Billie, I’m here,” Odessa said softly, keeping her voice calm and steady. She approached slowly, not wanting to startle Billie. She knelt down beside her friend, reaching out carefully.

Billie’s hands shook as they continued pulling at her hair, her eyes wide with panic. She let out another string of tics—“Tsk! Hm-hm! Eh!”—her body unable to stop jerking.

Odessa didn’t rush to touch her but spoke softly, offering a steady presence. “It’s okay, Billie. You’re safe. I’m right here.”

Slowly, Odessa moved closer, carefully wrapping her arms around Billie. She applied gentle pressure, hoping that the grounding touch would help calm her down. Billie stiffened for a moment, her body still twitching with tics, but then she began to lean into Odessa’s embrace.

Odessa held her tightly, whispering soothing words as Billie’s vocal tics continued to break through. “Tsk… Eh… Hm-hm…” They were softer now, but still persistent. Billie’s body was exhausted from the meltdown, but the emotional toll was heavy.

As Odessa continued to hold her, Billie’s body slowly began to relax. Her grip on her hair loosened, though she still pulled at it lightly. The vocal tics came in spaced intervals now: “Eh… tsk…” Odessa stayed by her side, her arms a constant source of comfort.

“You’re okay, Billie. You’re okay,” Odessa whispered, stroking Billie’s hair with gentle hands.

Eventually, Billie’s breathing slowed, and the jerking movements of her body lessened. Her vocal tics—though still present—grew quieter, fading into the background. “Hm-hm… Eh…” Billie was exhausted, emotionally and physically drained.

Odessa helped her lay down on the bed, covering her with the weighted blanket once again. Billie curled up under it, resting her head against Odessa’s shoulder. Though the tics still came—soft and frequent—Odessa knew Billie was finally calming down.

“Shhh, just rest,” Odessa whispered, brushing a strand of hair away from Billie’s face. Billie’s eyes fluttered closed, her body relaxing into sleep. Her final vocal tic before falling asleep was a quiet, “Tsk.”

Odessa sighed in relief, grateful that Billie had finally calmed down. She stayed with her, holding her close as Billie slept, the weight of the meltdown slowly lifting from the room.

Later, Billie’s family checked on them, still worried but grateful for Odessa’s presence. Though the night had been overwhelming, they all knew one thing: Billie had Odessa, someone who could bring her peace even in the midst of chaos.

As the house settled into quiet, Odessa stayed by Billie’s side, her heart full of love and protectiveness. She knew there would be more difficult days, more meltdowns, and more challenges. But she also knew that Billie wouldn’t face them alone.