mute

chapter 18

Chapter: Caring for Billie

Odessa sat beside Billie, her heart heavy with concern but her resolve unshaken. Billie was still deeply regressed, her mind in a different space where she felt vulnerable and small. It had been hours since Billie had spoken, and while Odessa knew her friend couldn’t vocalize much even on a normal day, now it was like all communication had shut down. Billie’s usual ways of expressing herself—through sign language, gestures, or even her tics—had mostly been replaced by simple, childlike movements and soft stimming.

Odessa knew Billie well enough to sense what she needed. She approached the situation with a quiet patience, respecting the space Billie was in. Odessa grabbed Billie’s favorite weighted blanket from the corner of the room and gently draped it over her, the familiar pressure offering some grounding.

Billie’s stims were subtle as she sat there—her fingers fidgeting with the hem of her shirt, her feet tapping lightly on the floor. Odessa recognized these stims as a sign of self-soothing, so she didn’t interfere. Instead, she made sure the environment around Billie was calm: she dimmed the lights, turned off any loud noises, and kept the room free from too many overwhelming stimuli.

When Billie reached out for her, Odessa moved closer, allowing Billie to cling to her arm for comfort. Even in her regressed state, Billie was seeking the closeness that Odessa provided. Every now and then, Billie would make small noises—soft humming sounds and short grunts—but no words came.

Since Billie couldn’t speak, Odessa had to rely on other ways to understand her. She gently guided Billie’s hands, trying to communicate through sign language, but Billie’s responses were slow and minimal. Instead, Billie mostly nodded or shook her head to answer simple questions, while occasionally gesturing toward things she wanted. Odessa had become skilled at reading Billie’s body language over the months of their friendship, and now she used that skill to guide her in caring for Billie.

“Are you hungry, Billie?” Odessa asked softly, her hands moving slowly to sign the words just in case Billie wanted to respond.

Billie shook her head and let out a soft vocal tic, “Hm-hm.” It was clear that food wasn’t a priority for her right now.

Odessa, however, noticed something else. Billie seemed uncomfortable, squirming slightly on the couch and looking down at her lap with an anxious expression. Her stimming grew more intense, her hands fluttering near her legs as her body tensed.

It didn’t take long for Odessa to realize what was happening. Billie was having an accident. She watched as Billie’s body stiffened with embarrassment, her face flushing red, and her eyes welling up with tears. Billie’s regression made it hard for her to deal with what was happening, and she looked helpless, overwhelmed by her own body.

Without missing a beat, Odessa acted. “It’s okay, Billie,” she whispered gently, rubbing Billie’s back in a soothing motion. “It’s okay, don’t worry. We’ll get you cleaned up.”

Odessa got up briefly to grab some supplies—knowing that Billie’s parents kept diapers and wipes in the bathroom for emergencies like this. She had learned through their time together that when Billie was this regressed, accidents weren’t uncommon, especially when she was feeling anxious or overstimulated.

Returning with a clean diaper and some wipes, Odessa approached Billie slowly, wanting to make sure her friend felt safe. “I’m going to help you get cleaned up, okay?” Odessa said softly, keeping her movements deliberate and calm.

Billie nodded, her face still flushed with embarrassment, but she trusted Odessa. She let Odessa help her off the couch and lead her to the bathroom. Odessa handled everything with care, keeping her voice low and soothing as she helped Billie change out of her wet clothes and into the diaper. There was no judgment, no awkwardness—just a quiet understanding that Billie needed support, and Odessa was there to provide it.

Once Billie was clean and comfortable again, Odessa guided her back to the couch, covering her with the weighted blanket once more. Billie curled up into a ball, her body still trembling slightly from the emotional overload, but the panic in her eyes had softened. She wasn’t embarrassed anymore—Odessa’s gentle care had made sure of that.

Billie communicated mostly through gestures and nods for the rest of the evening. Odessa had offered her a fidget toy, and Billie clung to it, squeezing it in her hands while rocking gently back and forth. Every now and then, she’d make small noises—a “hm-hm” or a quiet “tsk”—but she didn’t seem able to do much more. The regression had taken a firm hold of her, and Odessa understood that it might be a while before Billie felt more like herself again.

As the evening wore on, Billie became more fidgety. Her tics began to increase in frequency—soft vocal tics like “Eh!” and “Tsk!” escaping her lips, while her body jerked occasionally. Odessa stayed close, offering comforting touches and helping Billie through each wave of tics. She whispered reassurances, telling Billie that she was safe, that she didn’t have to be scared.

Eventually, Billie lay back down, exhausted from the emotional rollercoaster of the day. Odessa sat beside her, gently rubbing Billie’s back, waiting for her friend to fall asleep. As Billie’s breathing slowed and her body relaxed, Odessa smiled softly, relieved that the worst of the day had passed.

Later, when Billie’s family arrived home and saw the scene—Billie in a diaper, curled up in a vulnerable state—questions arose quickly. But Odessa stood firm, explaining what had happened, how Billie had regressed and needed extra care that day.

Maggie and Patrick were shocked but grateful that Odessa had known how to handle everything. Though they had questions and concerns, they respected how Odessa had helped Billie get through such a difficult experience. However, when they began to question too much, Odessa noticed Billie’s body tensing again.

“Eh! Tsk! Hm-hm!” Billie’s tics came fast and strong, her body jerking as her hands flew up, shaking uncontrollably. The questions were too much—too overwhelming—and Billie was on the verge of another full-blown tic attack.

“Give her some space,” Odessa urged gently, moving quickly to Billie’s side. She wrapped her arms around Billie, applying firm but comforting pressure. “You’re safe, Billie,” she whispered, rubbing her back as Billie’s body continued to spasm.

“Eh! Eh! Tsk! Hm-hm!” The vocal tics kept coming, but Odessa’s calming presence helped keep the attack from spiraling out of control.

Maggie and Patrick backed off, giving Odessa the space she needed to help Billie. Finneas stayed close, his worry evident, but he trusted Odessa to handle things.

It took some time, but eventually, Billie’s tics slowed, her body relaxing once more as she leaned into Odessa for comfort. She was exhausted, worn out from the emotional and physical toll of the day, but she was safe, surrounded by people who loved her.

As the evening wore on, the household settled into a quiet calm, grateful that despite the overwhelming challenges, Billie was cared for, loved, and supported by those closest to her—especially Odessa.