His Song

Chapter 27: So Long & Goodnight

I would say that it's finally Friday, but today is the last day we have with Adrienne.

That night, I just leave what I have on, and make sure I look okay enough. This was really depressing. I love Adrienne, and I hate to see her go. John and Brendan were riding with us in the van to the hospital because our paranoia was getting to us. We were afraid that John will drive off of a cliff and kill both him and his son. Seriously.

At least it's Friday, so it gives time for us to grieve before school starts back up again on Monday.

In Amy's van it's my dad driving, John in the passenger seat, Amy and Nee in the middle, and Brendan and I in the back. I wanted to be able to comfort Brendan after we leave the hospital.

We're standing around Adrienne's hospital bed in sad anticipation. She's so weak. Shakey breaths, can barely move.

Adrienne's doctor tells my dad, Amy, Nee, and I to leave so the family can be together in her last hour.

Brendan's P.O.V.

After Brianna and her family leaves, it's just Mom, Dad, and me. Dad and I grab chairs to sit by the hospital bed. Dad talks to her for a while, and I'm sitting there letting the tears fall. Mom says in her weak voice, "I love you, John. I need to talk to Brendan. Alone." Dad kisses her softly and says with some sob, "I love you, Adrienne."

Dad leaves and it's just Mom and me. She reaches out her hand slowly and says, "Brendan, hold my hand." I do what she says, but do it gently. "Now listen," she says, "you can make it without me. I don't want you to end up in the hospital because you tried to kill yourself. I want you to live a happy life with Brianna." After a quick pause to catch her breath, she continues. "What's that one My Chem song that has just piano and we cry every time we listen to it?"

"Cancer?"

"Yes. I want you and Brianna to perform that at my funeral."

"Okay."

"I have faith in you, Brendan, to live happily. Graduate high school, go to college, see the world, get married, have a family. Do anything and everything."

"Mom, you can't leave me like this."

Her breaths getting deeper. "I don't have a choice."

Sobbing. "I love you, Mom. I don't want to-"

"You have to. I know you want to be with me in Heaven, but live until you're old. I love you so much."

She looks up, takes a deep breath, and the line goes flat. She's...dead. "Mom." Nothing. "Mom!" I let go of her hand and place it beside her lifeless body. A doctor comes in and says, "I'm sorry." No you're not. "We tried everything we could." No you didn't.

I try to walk back to her, but the doctor pushes me away, and Dad and Brian come in to get me out of the room. As they're pulling me out, I try to get out of their grasp, but nothing works. "MOM!" I yell. The door closes and I slouch down in front of it.

I cry in front of the door hoping that this was just a nightmare, but it was cruel reality. I stand up and Brianna comes over to me. She pulls me aside and I try to go back in and say, "No, Mom." Brianna calms me down and says, "Brendan, she's gone."

"No, no, she can't be." Denial, the first stage of grief.

"Yes, she is. But I can promise you that she's in a better place."

After a long hug and sobbing, I ask, "Can you do me a favor?"

"What is it?"

~~~

I get my keyboard ready, and sit down on a little stool. It was Mom's funeral, and we were about to do her last wish.

"Ready?" I ask.

Brianna nods and I start playing. She starts singing not long after.

"Turn away

"If you could get me a drink

"Of water 'cause my lips are chapped and faded

"Call my aunt Marie

"Help her gather all my things, and bury me in all my favorite colors

"My sisters and my brothers still

"I will not kiss you

"'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you

"Now turn away

"'Cause I'm awful just to see

"'Cause all my hairs abandoned all my body

"Ah my agony

"Know that I will never bury

"Baby I'm just soggy from the chemo

"We're counting down the days to go

"It just ain't living and I just hope you know

"That if you say goodbye today

"I'd ask you to be true

"'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you

"'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you"

I finish on a chord and tears roll down my face. It was Mom's last dying wish. I had to do it.

After the burial, I looked at her gravestone.

Adrienne Nicole Truscott

November 23, 1974 - January 9, 2015

"I can say ain't if I want to!"

Oh, Mom.

I get the deep red rose from out of my pocket. I place it down in front of the porcelein stone.

I love you, Mom. So long and goodnight.