His Song

Chapter 32: Shut Your Eyes, Kiss Me Goodbye, and Sleep

Brendan's P.O.V.

The next morning, I wake up with a really bad cramp in my back. It's probably from the adventure of riding on the floor of the van.

Dad and Brooklyn (Oh, I forgot to mention that she's moving in.) were at work, so it was only me. I went through Dad's room to go to the master bathroom to grab a couple ibuprofen capsules.

When I'm walking out of the bedroom, I notice that Mom's cedar chest that she strictly said not to get rid of was gone. I decided to snoop a little bit. As I'm going through cabinets and dressers, Mom's stuff was gone. We lost all of Mom. It can't be Dad's fault...it's Brooklyn's.

I can't take this anymore.

I get into a cabinet and grab the handgun my dad uses for defense.

I go up to my room and shut the door. I grab a piece of notebook paper, a pen, and start writing.

Dad,

I'm sorry it had to turn out this way. I couldn't take being in this house with a woman that is trying to control our lives anymore. You were a fantastic father. I just can't stand this life. I love you...

Brooklyn,

Fuck you. You come in and try to take over mine and my dad's lives. You got rid of my mom's things to get the memory out of my dad's head. You would've never been a replacement, and I would never consider you my stepmom.

Brianna,

Where do I begin? I'm sorry. I am so sorry. I just couldn't take living like this. You didn't do anything wrong. I promise. I also promised not to hurt myself. You coming into my life was the best thing that has ever happened to me. I'm sorry that I didn't listen to your advice. I'm sorry I didn't stop. I'm sorry for being in the way, making you not go an hour without talking to me worry that I killed myself. I love you! I love you! I love you!

-Brendan

That's good enough. I finally get to leave this cruel planet, and nothing can save me, no matter how hard the doctors try to keep me here. No more drama, no more stress, no more grief. I close my eyes, smile, and squeeze the trigger.

Brianna's P.O.V.

I knock on the front door and John answers. "Sup, Lawrence?" I answer, "Nothing much. Just here to talk and hang out because I had nothing better to do. How's your relationship with Brooklyn?"

"It's great! She's in the process of moving in."

"She really doesn't like me."

"...yeah."

"The first day I meet her, she's already criticizing me."

"It'll get better. I know it will."

"Eh."

"But I don't understand why she wouldn't even look at your drawings. I think you do well!"

"Thanks! I work really hard on them. I want art to be my side thing while I'm a nurse."

"That'll be good. I don't know what Brendan wants to do yet. He has mentioned something about music producing."

"I think he'll be good with that. It's his passion to make music."

"I'm blessed to have a musically talented son and not a sporty know-it-all."

"When I get older, I would want my kids to be musically enthralled."

After a brief moment of silence, John says, "Brendan's upstairs in his room."

I nod and start to say "Thank you," but my reply was interrupted by a gun shot.

My heart is pumping and my ears are ringing. No, he couldn't have.

John and I sprint up to Brendan's room and barge in. Brendan is standing there with a gun in his hand. John takes it and checks the bullet cartilage. "Thank God, a flat." I sigh in relief.

I turn in front of Brendan, and trying not to cry, I scold him. "What is wrong with you?! What possessed you to try to kill yourself?!"

"I just...I don't know."

"You have to know! There has to be a reason!"

He hesitates and says, "It was Brooklyn, okay?! She came in and tried to take over this house and all of Mom's stuff is gone! She's just trying to get Mom out of our heads so we can love her more."

"Brendan, you know Brooklyn is never going to be your mother. Ever. Your mom was one of the greatest people I knew."

The front door opens and shuts. It could only be one person. "I'm home!" Brooklyn. Bitch, this will never be your home. You tore their family apart.

John purses his lips then says, "I'll be back." He goes downstairs and I look over at Brendan's desk and see a piece of paper. I pick it up and read it. As I'm reading the suicide note, I'm crying. Why did he even think about it?

After I put it back down, Brendan and I hear John and Brooklyn yelling downstairs. "You ruined this family! You made my son try to commit suicide! You tried to take the place of my wife!"

"You mean your ex wife!?" Brooklyn yells back.

"Adrienne may be dead, but I will ALWAYS love her! I will never love you! Get out of my house!"

"But John!"

"GET OUT!" The door slams shut and the whole house shakes. Wow.

Brendan, who was laying on his bed, starts creepily laughing. "Hehe. Hehehe." He gets louder and I'm freaked out.

"Brendan, are you okay?"

He laughs in the creepy tone and says, "She's gone! Three months of hell, and she's gone!"

John comes back up and says, "Brianna, I need to talk to Brendan alone." I nod and say, "I better get back home anyway." I walk downstairs and leave, fearing of what may happen to Brendan.

Brendan's P.O.V.

Brianna leaves and Dad shuts the door. I sit up on my bed against the headboard. "What happened to you?" I sigh and answer, "What's the point? Mom is dead, Tyler has been gone, and Brooklyn ruined the Truscotts. I don't see why I should live on this cruel planet and not join Tyler and Mom in a better place."

"Brendan, I love you. You have me, Brianna, your friends at school, why would you take a pistol to your head?"

"It's quick and easy."

He sighs. "Well, I have tried, Brendan, I have tried to make you better and help you to stop trying to take your own life. But don't worry, I know a place that can professionally help you."

~~~

Brianna's P.O.V.

It's 8:30, and I still haven't heard anything from Brendan. Did he successfully kill himself? (If he tried again, that is.)

I eventually get a text.

Brendan: My dad said that I was going to a place to get my life straightened out.

Me: Seriously? I wouldn't blame him

Brendan: It's some place called Oak Creek

Me: Hey! I know someone who works there! It's Ben something...

Brendan: I'm leaving tomorrow. Don't know how long I'll be there

Me: Oh. If I can't see you when you leave, I love you so much. I don't understand why you are willing to give up everything to take your own life.

Brendan: There's no point...I love you. See you when I come home

I give up on trying with him.