But Beautiful

part 6

The last few moments went by in a slow motion blur for Jungkook, who still hadn't been able to comprehend what he was witnessing. He had never seen Taehyung even move quickly, let alone the frenzied pace of him trying to fight his way out of being held. What's happened to him? What was he feeling? He found himself wondering as he sat in the doctor's office, releasing a breath he didn't know he was holding.

"Can you tell me what happened?" the man asked, pouring himself a cup of coffee from the single drink maker on a table in the corner. He offered the cup to Jungkook, who shook his head at the offering.

"I approached Taehyung, who was painting," he began.

"As always."

"Right, so I greeted him and asked him if he was doing well, or if he needed anything. He didn't respond, but when I put my hand on his back he quickly pushed me away. I wasn't upset, and he didn't push me hard, but another patient alerted the orderlies to it. It was my fault, though, I touched him without his consent," Jungkook explained, eyes wide as he recounted the events. "When the two entered, one of them – I think his name is Seojeon – pulled him up and wrapped his arms around him from behind. Taehyung was trying so hard to get out of his hold that he ended up biting him. He looked very scared, I don't think he intended to hurt anyone! Then the other man, I can't remember his name, pushed Taehyung against the wall and tried to put restraints on him, but he couldn't because he was thrashing around so much. I don't know what happened exactly, but Taehyung fell on the floor and... yeah, I don't know."

Dr. Lim listened intently, sipping his coffee as he jotted down some notes in an open pad of paper.

"Is he going to be okay?" Jungkook added, nervously cracking his knuckles as he recalled the image of his shivering form.

"He'll be okay," Dr. Lim replied, tossing his pen on the desk and leaning back in his chair. "The taser only subdued him, it didn't harm him. But I wanted to talk to you about consent, since you mentioned it."

Jungkook nodded, watching him attentively.

"You said it was your fault because you touched him without consent. While consent is important, he's a patient, not a lover. Doctors or carers don't need constant permission to touch their patients," the doctor said, elbows resting on his desk. "If we always waited for their say so, nothing would get done and their conditions wouldn't improve. So even if you did put your hands on him, he had no right to react violently. Because he did, he has to bear the consequences."

"But it wasn't violent, really," Jungkook insisted, shaking his head. "And what even is solitary? Isn't this a rehabilitation center? Why is he being treated like a prisoner?"

"Prisons are also rehabilitation centers, Jeon," Dr. Lim spoke coolly.

Jungkook stared, shaking his head once more after he let the words sink in. "He shouldn't be punished with something like solitary," he began, idly bouncing his leg as he thought about it. "Wouldn't you worry he'd hurt himself if he was alone while distressed?"

"He'll be restrained. He'll only be in there until dinnertime, where I'll assess his mental state."

"But that will be hours from now. Nine hours sounds like a long time to be by himself," Jungkook mumbled, anxious about the patient's condition.

"He'll sleep most of the time, I'm sure. Don't worry about it right now," the doctor dismissed. "I had another thing to bring up, though."

"Yeah?" Jungkook asked.

"It's been brought to my attention that you might display some favoritism towards Taehyung," he began, finishing off his coffee and setting the mug down heavily. "And more than one person has mentioned it."

"I do think I might display favoritism," Jungkook started, carefully, "but I think it's because I was told I was the first person to make any headway with communicating with him."

"I understand that, but these individuals also mentioned that your favoritism might extend beyond what would be appropriate in a doctor-patient setting," Dr. Lim continued, eyes narrowed as he read the younger man's reaction.

"I don't understand," he replied, swallowing thickly. "I haven't been unprofessional with Taehyung, or with anyone else for that matter."

"I've been told that you spent hours in his room with him, alone. I've also been told that your hands tend to linger on his body in inappropriate places," the man listed, getting up to refill his mug. "Can you tell me about these things?"

Jungkook gaped, surprised to hear what the doctor was saying. "I only ever touched him in appropriate places," he began, body becoming a bit rigid as he tried to calm his racing thoughts. "The only time my hands got anywhere near somewhere someone might consider inappropriate was during physiotherapy, and I find that my hands being on the site of his injuries was very appropriate for the situation," he continued, disbelief in his expression while he spoke, "and I assisted him to his room after a procedure to treat his pain. I ended up staying in there because he started to cry, and that might have been considered inappropriate, but I didn't want to leave him when he was in such an obviously vulnerable state. What would you have done if he was crying, holding your hand and not wanting you to leave?"

Dr. Lim watched him with interest, sitting down across from him once more. "You're getting very defensive," he said. "I wanted to mention what others have witnessed and ask you about it. I'm not telling you I personally think you did wrong, because I didn't see anything. So your hands were only on him during physical therapy, and you were only in his room to guide him through an emotional outburst. That's fine, there's no need to get excited. You've been here just two weeks and you've made more progress with him than other doctors that have come and gone during their own residencies, even more than Dr. Yoo and I both have. I'm curious to see how it continues, as his psychiatrist. He's been unresponsive in psychotherapy and cognitive therapies, and it's his silence that prevents progress in these areas. He's unwilling to speak, therefore he can't participate in therapeutic conversation. In my opinion, there's a chance he could get to that point if you continue to work with him, so I don't want to insist you have no contact with him."

"I believe I can continue getting somewhere with his communication," Jungkook agreed. "The last time I was with him, which was in his room after the procedure, he began using obvious cues. Instead of just tapping my arm once or twice, he began shaking his head or nodding. That's a huge step, I think."

The doctor nodded, looking up once there was a knock at the door. "Come in."

 

One of the orderlies from before – the one Jungkook couldn't remember the name of – entered the office, bowing to the doctor. "I wanted to report that the patient has regained consciousness and is restrained for the safety of himself and others."

"Thank you, Sungmin," Dr. Lim responded, giving Jungkook a wink at the mentioning of his name. "I'll be in to assess him soon. Please don't disrupt him until I have had time to visit with him."

"Yes, sir," the man replied, bowing again as he exited the office.

"Anyway, that is a huge step," the doctor replied to what Jungkook had mentioned prior. "And because he made that step with you, I do want to see if he will open up more. There are things that are holding me back, such as the worries expressed by others and the fact that you don't specialize in mental health. His record is extensive, extreme, and exhausting," he continued, looking at the clock that hung on his wall. "Knowing how he got to where he is now is a harrowing read through. Despite that, I think there's a good chance you can get him to communicate. If anyone can, it seems likely it would be you at this point."

Jungkook nodded, curiosity piqued at the mention of his past record, but his mood still soured by the accusations from earlier. "Can I ask, who was it that was worried about my interactions with Taehyung?" Jungkook asked hesitantly.

The doctor smirked, standing up and ushering him out of the office. "You know I can't tell you that."