But Beautiful

part 16

Want to explain now?" Dr. Yoo asked, an eyebrow raised as he looked between Jungkook and his suit, still folded on one of the chairs.

Jungkook took a deep breath, his cheeks coloring pink with heat that spread to them. "Yes, um," he began, wringing his hands together before taking another breath, looking directly at the doctor. "I sat on the bench in the shower stall, as Taehyung wanted me to-"

"I gathered."

"Yes, well, I had my eyes closed to give him privacy, but then suddenly he was on my lap. He was soaked and soapy and I was shocked and I got wet and soapy from him being on me and it was just..." he trailed off, eyes wide and round as he explained. "I had to change into dry clothing, of course. I told him that he couldn't do things like that and he took it too far, but I think it made him feel bad. I told him I wasn't angry, just confused, because I didn't know what he was thinking or feeling."

"You didn't know what he was thinking or feeling, of course," his mentor began, sharp eyes softening, "but what were you thinking or feeling?"

Jungkook blinked a few times, heartbeat in his throat. "I was, well, I was shocked," he said, eyebrows furrowing, "and scared," he added, nearly whispering.

"Shocked is probably an understatement, but why were you scared?"

"Because I was all wet, and had to change my clothes, and I was scared that if people saw me-"

"I'm going to stop you right there," Dr. Yoo said, crossing his arms, "I've told you not to worry about what other people might think or say," he continued, gesturing towards the suit, "so disregarding the potential of others' thoughts, knowing that you'd have no repercussions on my end, did you still feel scared? And if so, why?"

Jungkook stood still, the question swirling in his mind. It had too many answers but none of them made sense, too fragmented and falling apart as soon as they were formed. "I... maybe I was scared that having him so close would be too much to handle. Maybe I'd cross the line, do something I absolutely shouldn't do."

"So explore that thought. I may not be a psychiatrist, but I'm not ignorant to the mind. What would you have done?"

"Maybe I'd have kissed him," Jungkook whispered, trying to swallow although his throat was dry.

"Okay, assuming you kissed him, and he kissed you in return, what would you have done next?"

"Continued..."

"And if he pushed you away or pulled himself away?"

"I'd have stopped immediately, apologized, and removed myself from the situation," Jungkook said, his heart pounding rapidly. "I would have come to you and asked what I should do."

"I'll tell you what I would say, then," Dr. Yoo started, looking at him with a kind gaze, "I would have told you if he had pushed or pulled away, what mattered most is that you stopped. I'd have said that I would supervise a visit with Taehyung where you explained yourself to see how he felt. If it wasn't awkward or he wasn't scared, I'd let you resume care. If he didn't want to be around you or was uncomfortable, I would end your professional relationship with him. You aren't his doctor, but you're directly involved in his treatment, so that would have to end. Now, if you had told me you kissed him and he returned it," he continued, "depending on how much farther it would have gone, I would tell you to seek absolutely irrefutable consent before ever doing such a thing again. And, again as you are not his doctor but involved in his care, you would be on a tight leash when it comes to involvement in major medical decisions as there could be a personal conflict of interest."

"I... I don't understand," Jungkook admitted, sweat beginning to form at his hairline, "I don't understand how I would still be able to care for him if I did something like that. I don't understand what sort of conflict of interest there could be if I did something like that, what sort of conflict would occur."