Lord eclipse x servant sun 🤭

chapter 18: before I was king..

Me (author): hiiiii!!! :3 sorry again with the non existing posts- let's get started!! :3

⚠️⚠️(Mentions of murder, self harm, abuse, etc)⚠️⚠️

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Eclipse's pov:

I was walking around late at night in the gardens in the courtyard of the castle..

Sun was fast asleep and I had a trusted night watching over him. As I walked around I looked at the various of flowers that shined in the moonlight. My breaths were steady and I walked around. I was thinking about my past.. my God unforsaken past that I have.. and I'm so unhappy with the predicament that I'm in.

It comes in some different memories.. some short and some vibrant and long that I can feel it, like as if I was there..

I remember that stupid...stupid.. God forsaken daycare.. sun and moon were separated and all I remember was agonizing pain that I had to go through..  EVERY MOVEMENT hurt my body to the core.. it was a never ending cycle of only 8-5 hour break when he charged.. even less..

But I can't hate him.. sun didn't even know what he was doing.. he didn't even know I was present in his head..

And when he found out moon told him I was bad.. and I was.. I was terrible.. but that wasn't my fault either.. moon left me to be in his head like the messed up person that he is and I was stuck for at least a year. It didn't matter what sun was doing.. if he was doing a cartwheel or tapping a pencil with his hand, made me feel like my parts were being pulled out one by one slowly while I was till alive and breathing..

I barely escaped.. and when I did I want to kill them both.. I was so ANGRY. I was just a toy to be played with and to be thrown out when bored off... I was never treated with respect nor kindness..

Though, granted, moon never treated sun so kindly either.. being such and ASSHOLE to him.. held him as an experiment.. heck he took my "brother" lunar and love him more than his own, sun.. and I watched it.. every thing that moon did, said, motioned.. was something that I could see.. I was growing insane..

Even after I was out I craved the feeling of being hurt.. I'd cut myself.. I hit myself.. if do anything just so the craving of being hurt was torn away.. I've hurt myself so badly that I needed to stop to stay alive. But even right after I kept doing it.. it hurt.. it felt so.. so.. GOOD...

It was always when I was alone too, so quiet.. too quiet.. I needed to feel something.. without sun I felt nothing.. nothing at all.. it was like a body without its bones to live, not collapse, and protect the organs.

And after all that happened.. I had the star.. the most powerful thing in the universe.. I used to just toy around with sun and moon before I had snapped when sun would stop nagging me about how I used it.. so I showed him.. making him pay by taking his memories and making him work to the bone..

I heavily regret it.. at least now I do.. I was so angry and selfish.. I was too blind to see his kind, loving, gentle, sweet, hearthrobing, beautiful side of him.. "every sun deserves and eclipse but eclipse donate deserve a sun".. I guess the moon's of the dimetions were right about that.. I don't deserve an atom of his existence.. Every time I gaze at those innocent eyes I feel regret.. so much regret..

And the fact I used to hurt him, hit him, cause him SO MUCH pain.. even if he did the smallest thing I would get so mad.. he begged me not to hurt him but I did it until he stopped crying..  and the fact they he was still obedient and spoke nicely..

I stumbled as I walked through the garden..

"I'm a MONSTER..." I mumbled quietly as I leaned on one of the walls of the castle and breathed heavily. Tears rushed out of my eyes. I fell to my knees and held my chest, my heart was racing and I tried to calm down. I remember all the times that I had abused sun.. he was so innocent.. so naive.. and did no wrong.. I can't even give back his memories.. I stood back up shaking.. I tried to calm down for the most part and trying to look like I hadn't broke down crying like a three year old would..

I can't believe I had actually done those things to sun.. and I felt disgusted with myself when I first started to have feelings.. ya, the feeling of a lust drive.. I only used him for his body and didn't love him.. and when I realized I love him I was awakened for once in my life. It's like being blind and being able to see color for the first time.. I got to express my feelings.. act them out.. I have killed so many people.. just to feel something, anything... Id always needed some one's blood on my hands. I can't believe I just used him when I was feeling in that mood..  he was so vulnerable.. so weak that he just applied anyways because he knew I would hurt him badly if he didn't. I was so.. selfish...

What have I done..

I walked back into our room and dismissed the night.

I went in the bed and held sun.

I mumbled

"Thank you.. for loving me.. thank you.. for accepting my version of my... love.." I mumbled through warm tears that fell down my already soaked face.

"I love you.. so much..."

I laud next to him, eventually falling asleep..

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Hiiiiiiiii

Hope this was good! I've been trying to make it more appropriate for the people reading because I want it to be more mature. I don't know if only this will save the matureness but ya. I've al been trying to tipe slower because I don't want to look like a 2 year old's writing..

So anyways! Enjoy the rest of your day or night and I'll see you in another chapter! :3

1070 words!! Thank God! :3 :D