Aka Rahul Dravid's Hubris is definitely his fatal flaw.
Scene begins; somewhere in London, in the year of 2000:
Sourav languidly stretches over the couch, the very comfortable cushions sitting just right beneath his back, making all tensions flood away from his body. Unlike him, Sachin was not taking advantage of the very comfortable armchair he was seated on. Instead of relaxing like any sane individual would on a chair that literally had a massage option, Sachin was sitting tensed, leg bouncing nervously, a grimace fixed on his face as he stared at the locked kitchen door with apprehension.
The reason was simple, against everyone's better judgement, Rahul had decided (not at all triggered by Sourav's constant taunts over the ready-to-eat disaster meals) that he would be cooking them lunch on this fine day that they all had off. While Sachin messed around with a lot of things, food was not one of them... well his own food- he had after all fed both of them far too many shitty things as a prank.
And now Rahul who has never stepped a foot in the kitchen before was cooking them food that they HAD to eat because who can say no to that stupid face, Sachin had never looked more fearful for his life.
Sachin: can't believe you guys are making me do this.
Sourav: Relax it's fine.
*A loud yell reaches their ears. The third so far in the past half an hour. Last two had been of frustration. This one sounded like pain*
Sachin: ...That does not sound like fine- Sourav let me go in there, I don't want to die of food poisoning. Didn't HE literally get food poisoning last week, cooking for himself?
Sourav, shrugging: Yeah but that was the ready-to-eat meal which had caused it, he had just heated it up. Not really cooking.
Sachin palming his face: Dadi that's worse!!! Please, my kids are too young, I can't die!
Sourav stretching some more, rolling over: I mean it is just following some steps, how bad can he mess it up-
*A loud pop cuts his sentence off. A second later, the door is thrown open so hard that it's knob bangs against the wall and dents it. Rahul is standing in the doorway, looking slightly panicked, mostly sweaty, as if trying to look calm*
Rahul to Sachin: Where do people keep the oven glove?
Sourav, scrunching his nose: It's called a mitt you nincompoop.
Rahul's panic, increasing visibly, voice straining: Whatever it's called, where is it supposed to be?! Answer quic-
Sachin, flabbergasted: It's your house, how would I know-
*Another loud pop interrupts them and a distinct smell of something smokey begins drifting down. Rahul runs back inside, a string of quietly muttered, but obviously panicked curses falling out of him. The other two rush after him.
In the kitchen, the microwave is emitting smoke and Rahul is running around banging open drawers, his string of curses getting increasingly louder.*
Sachin rushing to help him: Where's the kitchen towel
Rahul throwing his hands up: What's a kitchen towel-
Sourav himself was not even mediocre in the kitchen, but even he wasn't as bad. He pauses his attempt to gather all the napkins for a makeshift towel, raises a brow: You dont know what a kitchen towel is?
Rahul, now armed with a mop whose handle he was trying to use to switch the microwave off, screams at him: SOURAV IF YOU CANT HELP DON'T CRITICISE-
*They don't get a warning as the microwave belches out a loud bang which has Rahul and Sachin scattering faster than they have ever moved in their lives. Sourav himself instinctively covers his head. For a second they thing it was just a loud noise, but then the next moment, it's door blasts off and a lick of steadily growing flame appears*
They stare in horror, frozen to their places.
Sachin is the first to move, rushing towards the sink screaming: GET WATER!
Rahul, rapidly hitting the flames with his mop trying to pat it out, screams at him: ITS AN ELECTRIC FIRE YOU IDIOT, GET A BLANKET!
*Sourav rushes to the nearest bedroom and grabs a cover. He rushes back to see Rahul still trying to pat the flames out while Sachin throws every available powdery substance from a much too far a distance to make any difference.*
Sourav throwing the cover to Sachin who actually has a hand free and is nearer: HERE SACHIN!
Sachin catches the cover. Sachin throws the cover... instead of wrapping it around the microwave to smother the flames... the cover catches fire. Now it's a bigger fire.
All three of them are silent for a moment before screams erupt and Sourav loses track of who is screaming what. He does hear some words about a hallway and a fire extinguisher. But it is far too late. As if seized by a being of superior control, he finds his feet marching him towards the microwave. Then in the next second the microwave is somehow in his hand and then out of the window with a loud crash.
Again a pin drop silence falls over the kitchen and Sourav begins to feel control of his limbs coming back to him just as Rahul turns to him horrified.*
Rahul: WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST DO?!
Sourav, who himself is only realizing his own actions: I SAW A PROBLEM. I SOLVED A PROBLEM!
Rahul: YOU DIDNT SOLVE A PROBLEM, YOU THREW THE PROBLEM OUT OF THE WINDOW!
Sourav: YOU SET IT ON FIRE IN THE FIRST PLACE, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO IN IT?
Rahul, waving towards the cookbook: I WAS FOLLOWING INSTRUCTIONS- SEE HERE IT SAYS HEAT THE PEPPERS. I WAS HEATING THE PEPPE-
Sachin, holding up a finger: Wait, did you slit the peppers or not?
Rahul, still with his hands in the air: You are supposed to slit the peppers?
Sachin, slapping his own forehead hard: ITS COMMON SENSE
Rahul: IT IS NOT-
Sachin: WHY DID YOU DECIDE TO COOK IF YOU CAN'T?!
Rahul: YOU GUYS WERE MAKING FUN OF ME
Sachin: BECAUSE YOU DESERVE IT-
*screaming noises erupt outside on the street, forcing them to pause and look out of the window. The sight does no good for their collective BP. Because the microwave had somehow landed in the big trash can outside the apartment but it had also set the trash can on fire.*
All three, running towards the hallway for the fire extinguisher: FUUUUUUU-
YOU ARE READING
Incorrect Quotes and Shenanigans ft ICT
FanfictionWhat the title says. Don't question, my mental health is the opposite of what normal is supposed to be.
