First & Forever

Chapter 2: Eloise

JANUARY

"Hey! Hold on just a sec, I'm wrapping your birthday present!" I set my phone down on the floor next to me so I can fold and tape the last corner.

Will's been eyeing this North Face parka every time we've walked past it for months now, saying he doesn't have a coat warm enough to handle the winters in Upstate New York and I can't wait to see his face when he realizes I went back and got it for him. It's nowhere near as good a gift as my necklace, I'm very aware of that, but I saved up for this and I think he'll love it.

"Okay, sorry. I can't wait to give this to you tomorrow! I was going to call you at midnight. Our usual birthday tradition and all, but this is better. Now I can hear you age over the phone." I laugh, pulling the sleeve of his sweatshirt down over my free hand.

Silence.

I glance at the phone to make sure the call didn't disconnect. "Will? You there?" I ask, leaning back against the foot of my bed.

"Yeah, I'm here. Sorry." His voice is strained, almost hoarse and I immediately know something isn't right.

"What's wrong? Are your grandparents okay? Your parents?" I ask quickly.

"Yeah they're okay. I, um..." I hear him clear his throat, but then there's another unnerving silence when he doesn't finish his sentence.

"Are you okay?" I ask gently, pulling my knees to my chest as I grow more and more concerned.

"Elle, we need to talk," he mutters sheepishly.

My heart sinks. Everyone knows that sentence is the gateway to an it's not you, it's me conversation. But it's Will. It's us. It can't be that.

I try not to think the worst and keep my tone light. "Okay. We can do that. What about?" I ask, hoping he's just playing a really cruel joke on me before his birthday. I can take a joke.

"Gah, I really don't want to do this," I hear him mumble in the background. He lets out a ragged breath causing me to start sweating and shivering all at the same time.

I break. I can't take the silence.

"Will, you're not..." I start to ask and then stop, refusing to even say the words. It's not possible. Why would he?

He groans in frustration and then the words begin to spew out.

"Elle, I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I - This West Point thing, it's not fair to you. I'll barely be here this summer and then hardly have any breaks or times we can visit each other. I can't ask you to wait around for me. You can't. You deserve so much more than that. You need to have fun and make friends and have the freedom to - "

I cut him off. "Will, I swear. If you say date..." I say quietly, opening my bedroom window and climbing out onto the roof so I don't wake anyone up. Sweet geeze, it's cold.

"But it's true, Elle. I won't be able to take you on dates. I won't even be able to talk to you for six weeks and who knows how much after that." There's remorse in his tone. I don't like it.

I soften, trying not to get too emotional. Maybe this is one of his overwhelmed what-if moments and he just needs to talk it through. "You know I don't care about any of that. I want you. I'm fine waiting. It's not like I won't have things of my own to focus on."

There's another silence as he releases a frustrated breath.

"West Point is my dream, not yours. I can't mess up your life like that, your college experience like that, all because of my ambition. It's selfish. Heck, I'm selfish for not having seen it sooner. You deserve to have your own experience and how can you do that if you're always waiting around for me? It's not fair to you," he says definitively, pure honest conviction lacing his words.