First & Forever

Chapter 13: Eloise

FEBRUARY

"Okay, what is going on with you and Will? He literally cannot stop staring at you." Piper all but giggles as we catch up in the quad during class change.

"I was going to ask that too! He's been tripping over himself ever since you got back," Meredith adds.

Gemma eyes me over her thick rimmed glasses. "Seriously. Did something happen?"

I shake my head no. "I got pretty dark there for a minute. It probably just caught him off guard that I came back more myself." I glance over my shoulder to where Will is standing with his friends and smile when I catch him looking right at me.

So far, so good.

If that's any indication, I'd say my Kate Middleton strategy has been working like a charm. On Will, but also on myself.

When I came back on Wednesday, I felt like I was faking it pretty much the whole time, but the more I faked that I was confident and okay, the more it actually became true. A few days later and I feel like I'm hardly having to fake it at all.

But I probably should confess... 

I may have upped the game a bit.

You see, getting ready to come back on Wednesday, I realized I have something that Kate didn't - Forced proximity. My Will has no other choice than to be just feet away from me all day, everyday. Now, I know how hard it is for me to be that close to him, so I decided to use it to my advantage. And thanks to our lengthy relationship, I knew exactly what buttons to push.

I've made sure to wear his favorite perfume, spraying extra in my hair so when I push it back during class he gets a nice sense memory. I've worn extra lip gloss to draw his eyes, since sadly, I'm not kissing anyone these days. I've discreetly made sure my desk is as close to his as possible so he has to feel my presence. I've made myself unavoidable, eating lunch across from him, walking down the hall in front of him, you name it. And my most calculated move of all? I let my guard back down around him. Smiling, holding eye contact, and being as normal as possible in the hope that eventually something will trigger a memory that makes him wish I were still his and he mine. Or at the very least, cause some serious torture.

"Have you all talked much? Like, about everything that happened?" Meredith asks curiously.

"No. Not yet. He's tried a few times, but I've put him off while I was trying to settle back in," I say, adjusting the bag on my shoulder.

Piper lets out a high pitched squeal. "Okay, I wasn't going to say anything, but I have to! Several guys have asked me about you over the last few days, E. You could really make him squirm if you wanted to," she plots with a vindictive smile.

"Oh, they've asked me too. Would serve him right after the Haley stuff," Meredith agrees.

I scrunch my nose. This isn't news. My phone and DMs have been blowing up the last few days. I hate it, but I get it. It's what I'm supposed to do, right? Hate him, date his friends, make him pay for breaking my heart. But none of that sits well with me. I don't want to do any of that. I don't need to do any of that.

"Yeah, I kind of gathered that, but no. I don't need vengeance." I smirk. "Not that kind, anyway."

"Do you want him back?" Gemma asks and I don't answer, just shoot them a we'll-have-to-see smile before I turn to go to my last class.

Truthfully? Do I want him back?

I don't even know yet. If he's still the guy that I thought he was then, yes. No question about it. I want him back. But is he? That's the question. The drama and rumors surrounding the last month have made it hard to tell. Anything short of the guy I thought I knew? I'm not interested.

*****

Halfway into class I feel my phone buzz.

WPR: Lunch in the auxiliary gym? To talk? Just us?

I stare at his words, hesitantly. I'm on decent footing right now and don't want to risk getting hurt again, but I miss talking to him and we probably should officially clear the air between us, so I look over my shoulder and shoot him a faint smile before texting back.

Me: See you there.