First & Forever

Chapter 12: William

FEBRUARY

I glance out the window toward the senior parking lot one last time before homeroom and feel my jaw tighten at what I see, or actually, what I don't see.

Still, no Elle.

If this is a preview of what life is going to be like when I don't get to see her every day, I don't want the full picture.

You always hear that things get easier with time, so why does it feel like this is getting harder? Not hearing back from her, feeling like she hates me, wondering if she'll ever speak to me again. I have this awful feeling that she's getting further and further away with each day that passes and I fear becoming someone she used to know. Someone she used to love.

The bell rings after another mind-numbing homeroom and I pull my phone out of my pocket to see if, by chance, there's anything from her.

Then I hear it.

My favorite sound.

The warm melodic laugh that I would recognize anywhere.

Elle.

I turn the corner into the quad and feel a wave of relief when I see her standing with her friends. Relief, quickly followed by an intense change in heartbeat.

She's back and she's gorgeous.

Maybe it's because I haven't seen her smile in over a month or maybe it's the sage green sweater dress that I don't recognize, but woah. She's always been the most beautiful girl in any room, but today? Today feels next level.

I catch myself walking straight toward her, but slow at the thought that she might not want to see me.

Shit. I need to check on her, but do I go over there? Do I not? Should I wait for her to come to me? God, why is this so hard?

Because you made it hard. That's why.

In the midst of my inner turmoil, she spots me from across the crowded quad and saves me from myself. Even though she's mid sentence, she smiles and I can breathe again.

Her smile is warm, her eyes bright, and she even tucks her hair behind her ear as we lock eyes, causing me to flash back to that first bonfire pep rally of the year.

I smile back, but feel completely thrown off my axis and for some reason, shy?

Her friends look over their shoulders, shooting me the same chilly glares they've all been giving me lately, but I'm not worried about them. I'm worried about her.

She steps toward me and my eyes have yet to leave hers.

"Hey..." she draws out, her head turned slightly to one side and my hands start to sweat at the sound of her sweet sweet voice.

"Hey..." I counter, turning my head just the same.

And with that one word, just as it always has, the rest of the world finally silences around us.

"I'm sorry I never texted you back. I wasn't really looking at my phone, but thank you for checking on me," she says, her eyes back to their endless emerald sparkle.

"I was afraid you might hate me," I admit, nervously sliding my hands in my pockets - I literally don't know what to do with them.

"I could never hate you, Will. Believe me, I tried," she teases with a smile that makes my stomach flip.

Damn, I missed that smile.

"How are you feeling? You look..." I trail off, fighting to keep my eyes from moving down the length of her.