First & Forever

Chapter 14: Eloise

FEBRUARY

Nervous. I am so nervous that I'm not that hungry, so I grab a water and some pretzels before meeting Will in the auxiliary gym. 

I walk in and find him leaned back, his toned body stretched out over three rows of bleachers. He hasn't seen me yet, so I let my eyes do their thing over him.

He's strength and confidence and delicious masculine energy.

Sweet heaven, he's Will.

I take a breath and say a quick prayer that I don't leave this conversation completely re-shattered.

"You know, this could be how our 20/20 episode starts. Abandoned gym, no one in ear shot..." I joke while walking toward him.

He looks up and a smile lights his face. "Us? Never," he shoots back, moving his arms up behind his head. His biceps push his shirt sleeves up showing every bit of definition in his arms and I - I'm...

Jesus, take the wheel.

I take a seat on the bleacher beside him, leaving a good distance between us and set my drink and pretzels there as a buffer.

I pull myself together, turning my body to face him. "So, what's going on Rhodes? Should I call you that now? Friend." I can't help but laugh. He hates when people call him by his last name.

He turns, straddling the bleacher to face me as he flashes his signature smile. "Play nice, James."

"I just wanted to talk. Check on you. After, well, everything," he says, looking down at the bottle in his hand.

"Yeah, same." I take a breath. "Um, I'm good. I don't want to lie to you, the last month has been brutal. In every way. But I'm doing better now. What about you?" I ask, trying not to look as nervous as I feel when I meet his eyes.

"Same. I'm not proud of how I've handled things. A lot of regrets there," he says, rubbing the back of his neck. "It's still not even close to easy."

I nod. "Yeah, it's felt impossible at times." May as well be honest.

"Still does," he admits, looking up at me with concern in his eyes. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure. Anything." I smile, crossing one leg over the other. "We're probably due a good heart to heart."

"Why were you so upset that day we ran into each other in the hall? Before you got sick."

I take a breath and sigh it out, leaning my arms onto my legs. "Oh, gosh. There were a lot of things that built up that day, but when we ran into each other I had just gotten off the phone with the Belmont coach." I look down at my clasped hands, remembering the conversation. "He's decided to retire after this season and the new coach already has a full recruiting class."

"Noo, really?" he says leaning forward. "I'm so sorry, Elle. That sucks."

I nod in response. "Yeah, that was kind of the final straw."

"Why didn't you tell me, then?" he asks earnestly.

"Will." I meet him with a knowing look. "I couldn't. The rumors that day, everything with Haley, I just - I couldn't," I mutter, shaking my head.

He runs a hand over his face with a frustrated groan. "I hope you don't believe any of that sh...stuff. None of it's true other than what we already talked about in here that day and I can explain it more in detail if you want me to," he offers and I believe him. I believe he would, but oddly enough I don't need it.

"No. I don't need any explanations." I can't hold his eyes. "It - um - it hurt to hear, but we weren't together. You could do anything you wanted to." I pause. "I really meant what I said the other day, Will. I just want you to be happy. Even if it's hard to watch. Even if it's with Haley." I force myself to meet his eyes as I say her name.