HAFSAT ✔

FIFTEEN

Ya Rabbi as you came through for me today and yesterday...even on days I forget to pray(make dua),
Please do it for me again and again

15.

It was a few minutes past 1PM. Hafsat as usual, was on her way back from Islamiyya.

It totally skipped her mind that Mama was still clueless about her phone. She walked into the house with the phone in hand while chatting with Hamza.

Coincidentally, Mama had some laundry in hand and was going out too. They both freezed for a moment; Hafsat thinking of the perfect lie and Mama, the right questions to ask.

"Who owns that?" Mama queried sizing her and the phone.

"Um, my classmate? I needed it for some research."

Mama looked at her long and hard then put her hand out. "Hand it over."

"Seriously Mama..."
When Mama wiggled her fingers indicating she should hurry up, she knew she saw through her.

Mama collected it and proceeded outside. Hafsat went into overthinking mode, estimating how long it'll take Mama to finish what she was doing them come back and roast her.

The hunger Hafsat was feeling disappeared so she laid on her bed mulling over her current predicament.

The sound of the front door jolted her up and she rushed out.

"Hafsat, come sit."
Mama made herself comfortable on the carpet. Hafsat quietly sat close to her.

"I didn't mean to go through your chat but you left it there and your last message to this guy caught my eye,"

Oh no no no please
Hafsat screamed in her head.

"Firstly, who is he?"

Denying or dodging of any kind wasn't even and option, "Hamza."

"Ameera's brother?"

"Yes." Her meek reply came.

"Gaskiya I'm disappointed in him. And he looks responsible."

Seconds of torturing silence later,
"Hafsat."

"Na'am?"

"I'm not proud of what you did. I raised you better. "

"I'm sorry, Mama." Hafsat squirmed in embarrassment, unable to look Mama in the eyes.

"Where have I gone wrong, Hafsat?"
She heard Mama sniff which made her look up. Hafsat's eyes watered with tears. Mama is crying because of her.

She kneeled and gathered Mama in an embrace muttering, "I'm sorry, Mama."
more than she could count.

What was she thinking? What did she gain by getting into a relationship that'll upset her mother? A relationship that gave her more anxiety than happiness!

Mama wiped her tears, now calm. She took Hafsat's hands in hers and said,
"I want you to make it right. I'll call up your uncle to see if he's fit for you and I want you to tell him to bring his parents over."
Hafsat's heart went dum in fear.
She could hear the finality in her mother's tone.

"Did I not speak in a language you understand?"

"I erm..I understand Mama."

"Or do you not see a future with him? I'm afraid you'll hate me if I asked you to end it."

"No, I do."
Big lie there Hafsat. You've never imagined a future with him.

But I love him.

Who said love was enough

Hafsat went back and forth with the voice in her head.

"Good. I want you to go to your room and repent to Allah. You want His blessings right?"

"Of course, Mama."

~||~
Hafsat asked Mama to keep the phone with her. She was able to memorize almost pages thanks to that.

She quickly took her bath and ate breakfast; tea and buttered bread.
She was terribly late. She made a silent prayer before proceeding to enter the classroom; the ustaz replied to her greeting and said nothing more.

When his class was over, he called Hafsat and four other students to go with him.
Hafsat's heart was beating hard against her chest, wondering what crime she had committed because of how unusual it is.

When he was seated, the Ustaz addressed them on why he called them, his words calming Hafsat down.

"I would get straight to the point. Some of you probably know about the scholarship program we have in this school. It lasts two years normally unless the people over there notice your outstanding performance and would like to retain you."

Over there where?

He goes on,"It's one of the best institutes for learning Arabic and other Islamic disciplines. I promise you would come back here fluent in Arabic and having more understanding of your deen after those two years have elapsed bi'iźnillah. Of course there's a condition, you take it seriously. "
They all nod in understanding but Hafsat was lost in her imagination.

"So I have recommended the five of you. Here," he brings out a fresh A4 paper and a pen. "Fill this. We would communicate with your guardians in detail in sha Allah. "

Hafsat was giddy with joy. Her journey of memorizing the Quran has put the love of Arabic in her. There's always this urge to learn it further to understand her deen better.

They all filled in their information and thanked him.

Hamza's car was packed in front of her house when she came back. She slipped into the passenger's seat when he asked her to, "Hey."

"Hey babe. Is your phone dead or something?" He questioned immediately she closed the door.

"Um no."

"Then why..."
She cut him off.

"Hamza, let's get married."

Hamza loosened his grip on his phone that was in his hands.He stammered a bit while asking,
"Why are you saying that now?"

"Because I want us to be together in a halal way. Don't you?"

"Of course I do. But this is too soon babe. I'm starting work in a few days. Financially I am so not ready to take care of a family. "

"Allah will provide, Hamza."

"Hafsat please. Give me a year?"

She sighed in defeat." I don't know, Hamza."

Hamza too sighed a long sigh. Within minutes, Hafsat has put his heart in turmoil.

He watched her leave the car and walk into the house. The very question in his head is how on earth he gave in so quickly to this idea. Even went ahead to ask for a year to prepare.

He was having second thoughts about why he was really with Hafsat.

Is he,like with other girls, trying to pass time or has it taken another level where he couldn't bear to see her with another man that wasn't him?

~||~

Bi'iźnillah- with the permission of Allah.

Deen- religion.