𝐀 𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐬 [Draco×OC]

31: Is everything okay, Draco?

Draco's POV

The Room of Requirement was cold, as it was every day, but that wasn't what was freezing me in that moment. It was something worse: the weight of guilt, the weight of every decision I had made up to now, the weight of every word I should say but didn't dare to. The time I spend here alone, and at the school in general, is no longer by choice—it's out of fear. Fear of putting those around me in danger, fear that something will happen to them... I had even quit the Quidditch team, something I never thought I would do. And all for what? To give this pathetic image of myself, devastated by the obligations and expectations of others, not to mention my own mistakes...

The stupid vanishing cabinet still wasn't working properly. I had put things inside it more than once, and most of the time, nothing happened; either things disappeared and never came back, or nothing at all happened. The more time I spent trying to fix it, the less I seemed to understand it. The dumb spell I was supposed to say to make it work didn't seem to, at least not most of the time. I had even tried with a bird—a poor bird! It came back dead after having vanished to who knows where. I couldn't be sure it was reaching where it was supposed to. I hadn't thought about what would happen if I couldn't fix it, something my parents had tasked me with, but either way, I was certain of what would happen: it would harm my family, and as if that wasn't bad enough, I was sure it would affect Ángeles too.

Ángeles... She was accomplishing everything she was asked to do. She had managed to get close to Professor Slughorn, who invited her to join his Slug Club or whatever it was called. Honestly, the professor was fascinated by her, and who wouldn't be? She was good at potions—really good—and she was charismatic and cheerful most of the time, something I couldn't manage even if I tried. Thanks to that, she got to go to the students' dinner in the professor's office, and then was invited again to a Christmas dinner where various important figures from the wizarding world would be present, something that could be very useful to us if we played our cards right—not just for now, but for the future, right?

Ángeles had invited me to the dinner, since Slughorn had told them they could bring someone as a date, and he had expressly suggested that she bring me, knowing the number of contacts my family has, and I'm sure he wouldn't want me to go just for that reason. However, I hadn't told Ángeles if I would go or not. All I could do was change the subject and avoid her, as I had been doing for weeks. I didn't want to be near her. More accurately, I didn't want her near me. I didn't want to drag her into this mess. Still, I was terrified. What if she got tired of me? What would happen if she decided not to wait for me anymore? What if one day she didn't love me anymore?

-

"Is everything okay, Draco? Did you hear anything I said?"
"Yes. I'm listening."
"Please, Draco... What's going on with you? You seem... off. You don't even laugh at my bad jokes anymore, or get embarrassed when I sing in public, you don't even look at me when I talk to you... I'm worried."
"I have other things to worry about now, Ángeles."
"Draco..."
"Why don't you talk to Nott?"
"Because he's not the one I'm worried about, Draco. It's you."
"Why don't you just leave me alone?"

-

She was right. I was a coward. She had told me that before, the time I found her in the Room of Requirement with Potter and his little friends. "Why do you have to be such a coward, Draco? Why do you always do what others tell you is right? When will you decide to do what YOU think is right?" And I couldn't even be angry at her because she was right. It hurt my pride, yes, but I knew she was right: I was a bloody coward for not doing what I wanted.