Time | Phan AU (MAJOR grammar editing in progress)

Phil

Liked? I let out a deep breath and my hands were shaking a little. Its been a year, a year of him perceiving I was ignoring him, he'd moved on. I didn't even know if I still liked him, I didn't know why this bothered me so much. But it did. I wanted to see him again, maybe my memories would come back and we'd be in love again. Wishful thinking there.

No one wrote anything for a while and I was about to message him when he wrote:

Amazingphil: you wanna meet up?

I felt like screaming like a teenage fangirl but contained it. My smile reaching ear to ear like a Cheshire cat. He wanted to see me!

Danisnotonfire: Sure :)

~~~

I made sure I looked perfect the following day. I didn't start the new term until a few more days, I had started this college a little late.

I had probably read the diary 50 times over and I pretty much knew most of the important details. I tried to skip the depressed parts or skipping food because I didn't want to remember. This Dan focused on studying and what to do in uni, even though it was still 2 years away. This is me, not that depressed loner kid. I sighed and closed the book.
"I'm heading out nan" I told my nan who was cooking something which smelled amazing but I was getting lunch with Phil so I wouldn't be having it either way.
"who are you going with?" she asked. For a moment I was going to lie to her, but then I remembered what I had wrote in my diary and changed my mind
"do you remember that guy in my psychology class? The one I met before I lost my memory?" she dropped her wooden spoon and turned around quickly. A smile plastered on her face.
"you remember him?" she chirped overly excited but I put my hands up a little to calm her.
"I found a journal... I mentioned him" that was a lie, the whole damn thing centred around him so it wasn't just a mention.
"I was going to tell you... but you never talked about him after that one day, I thought you wouldn't care" my nans eyes were gentle "go get him" she told me and I smiled at her widely. I love my nan so much more than my parents. She was actually there for me, she understood. She just wanted me happy.
"thanks" I whispered and left to go to the Starbucks in town.

I had probably checked my phone ten times to check the time, I had checked it more than my hair which I was constantly sorting out. I wanted to look amazing for him, though I didn't know why. This wasn't exactly a date... maybe he had found someone new, someone better.

After waiting outside for a while I grew cold so abandoned the spot and made my way inside the shop. I ordered my coffee and sat down. I would've ordered phils too but I didn't know what he liked, that wasn't in my journal. I waited for the black haired boy to arrive, breathing deeply as if to prepare myself.
I heard the door go and saw a very tall, very attractive man, not too much older than myself, walk in. He had a skinny frame and soon he turned around, with his drink in hand, to show me his beautiful blue eyes.

He saw me and instantly his eyes went sad but he tried to hide it with a smile.
"Dan?" he questioned
"Phil?" Wait, hold up. I had dated this, he was way out of my league and I didnt have to be depressed to know that much. I stood up and pulled out his seat for him to sit down in.
"still a gentleman I see" he giggled and I chuckled nervously.
"I guess you could say that" I smiled and took a seat on my chair. Except I was staring at his face so much my butt skimmed the side of it and I ended on the floor. Causing phil to burst into tears laughing as he helped me up.
"still as clumsy as ever" he managed out through laughs.
"I haven't changed much" I chuckled back and it somehow cut phils magnificent laugh short.
"you've changed actually, I can see it"
"badly?" I asked, my voice a little higher than I would've liked
"no. No. It's just" he played with the lid on his cup nervously "you seem happy"
"I am... Happier now I've found you" shit that was cheesy. "I couldn't really remember you, but I knew someone like you existed... If that makes sense" he nodded.
"I tried to visit you you know" he told me "after you left the hospital, your parents said you hated me and never wanted to see me again... That-that it was my fault and you blamed me" a silent tear fell down phils cheek and I held back the urge to wipe it away.
"I saw you. Parents told me it was some kid from the neighbourhood" we were quiet for a while "I read... That you um, your dad" I couldn't make up a sentence to ask "what happened?" Phils eyes widened
"I'm surprised you wrote that down"
"it might as well have been your life story" I chuckled "I wouldn't stop mentioning you"
"oh well" Phil started "I was sent to a children's home with PJ. Hes older than me so was let out a year before me. No one wants to adopt a 16year old dan... Well at least that's what all the staff told me. Then a family arrived, they had a daughter that was begging for an older brother. They talked to the one they thought was best but the girl came over to me and we started talking. The family decided to foster me, they're really nice."
"I'm happy for you phil!" I smiled
"how about your parents?"
"well... They wouldn't tell me much about anything. They made me get tutored from home so I never met any of my highschool friends, I just immersed myself into studying. Then I moved in with my nan yesterday, I found my journal when I was trying to find my ID at home. My nans so much better." I smiled as I remembered the time I talked about her in my journal, I should've talked about her more.
"they really took you away from school?" my thoughts were taken away from me as phils shocked voice shot into my ears. I nodded slowly "that's horrible. I just thought you were skipping psychology to avoid me or something."
"I'm sorry I put you through all that" I whispered
"it wasn't your fault" he spoke up, probably speaking lies to cheer me up.
"if I hadnt- told my dad about us and then tried to kill myself I wouldn't have made you feel so alone" I said "Wait how do you know I was in hospital?"
"everyone knew Dan, it was all anyone at school would talk about"
"oh" I held my mouth in an 'o' shape and carried out the sound until phil nodded and I closed my mouth. "so what did you do after school then?" I asked, changing the subject.
"well I got a part time job at a shop... that didn't go well" he cringed "I also played a small role in a movie and then started youtube. I'm glad I did now " he smiled warmly and I copied it.
"I'm glad you did too. Otherwise I'd have never found you" I went to take another drink of my coffee but nothing went into my mouth. I didn't think we had been there this long, I guess time flies when you're talking to phil.
"yours empty too?" phil asked and I nodded "you want another or do you want to explore Manchester? " he cocked his head to one side.
"up to you" I replied with a small smile.
"Manchester it is!" he exclaimed and jumped up from his chair "come on bear, we have much to do" I laughed at him as he dragged me out the store.
"bear?" I laughed as phil stopped outside. He turned around and went bright red
"I never called you that before did I?"
"not that I know of" I replied
"oh... well I thought of that name because you give good bear hugs and you're soft"
"cute" I replied "I'm going to have to think of a good nickname for you now" my heart felt like it was about to implode, I felt like I had met my favourite book character. I couldn't get a grip on any emotions but I didn't know if phil was feeling the same "so where we going philly?"
"its a surprise" he winked and pulled me away.
We were talking like old friends and, I suppose, that's what we are. It was like that year gap wasn't even a thing and I was learning a lot about phil, cute things he did that I never said before.
"here we are!" Phil said and pointed at a massive wheel in the heart of Manchester."I remembered once you said you've always wanted to go on it but your parents wouldnt let you"
"its amazing how you remember stuff about me that I don't even know about" I smiled, liquid forming at the corners of my eyes.
"well they call me amazingphil for a reason" he winked and paid for my fare for the wheel, even though I protested.
The eye slowly went round and showed the beauty of Manchester, I had never known this place could look so nice.
Me and Phil were talking about random things and phil was happily pointing out things he could recognise.
"holy hell! Is that big Ben!?" phil pressed his face out of the window
"that's a church you turnip" I laughed and phil went red making me laugh even more.
"so... hows life for you dan? Made any new friends" Phil asked, sitting properly in his seat and looking down as he awaited an answer.
"not really" I laughed humourlessy "you?"
"I- I" He stumbled over his words a little. He had a boyfriend now, I could feel it "I met this guy" he gulped. I just wanted to fling myself out of the little pod and down onto the ground below. Phil looked me in the eye and I wanted to look away but couldn't. "he asked me out not long ago"

Sorry for the cliff hanger omg.
I'll update again either tonight or tomorrow. I'm really enjoying writing this :)