Time | Phan AU (MAJOR grammar editing in progress)

Epilogue

Last chapter ;-; if you liked my writing style (doubt it) I have other stories on here that I'll be writing again! They'll be less time skips (hopefully)
- Rach

Phils POV - 3 years later.
"Phil, do you want Malteasers or-" I quickly closed Dans journal as I heard his voice travel up the stairs. I don't know what possessed me to read it but I'm so glad I did, I didn't know he felt this way.
Boxes from the move 3 years ago were still in the guest room and I had told dan I was sorting through them. On the last box I opened to find a battered old journal. Dan was out getting food so I picked it up. It had dried blood all over it and I realised it was his old journal. I had to know what made him so bad, what thoughts were going through his head.

The last entry was the best, I'm glad I made him happy because he makes me feel untroubled and carefree. He makes me forget about all those times my dad abused me or shunned me. I read the part where I thought dan was going to hit me and couldn't help but blame my dad, he had made me not trust others. But now I know dan would never harm me, we love eachother and if you love someone you would never hurt them.

I sighed as I set the book down on the floor. The door swung open, a skipping Dan emerged into the room. His smile swept off his face as he saw me. Cross legged on the floor of the room. Tears were streaming down my face.
"Phil!! What happened??" He rushed over to me but stopped suddenly, his mouth hung open as he saw the journal, half open, on the floor . "I- I" He couldn't get any words out, but that was fine because neither could I. I wanted to speak but couldn't. My mind was a mix of thoughts, still processing everything I had just read.

I looked at his arm and saw the faint white scar down the middle of his arm, reaching his wrist. My stomach fell heavy, throat too dry to say a word. I gulped hoping it would help, it didn't. I slowly stood up. I was shaky, not sure how Dan would react but at that moment I didn't care. He could've died, he seemed happier now but what if something went wrong and he got bad again? I wanted to release all of his pressures, worries, everything. I wanted to help him, be there for him.

I wrapped him up in a hug, he stayed frozen at first making anxiety seep through me. I hugged him tighter hoping he would do something, I felt him relax into me and let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. I felt his arms wrap around me and hold onto me as if I would leave. He started shaking as silent crys escaped him - probably caused from knowing I had just read all his secrets.
"It's okay Dan, I'm here" I whispered into his ear "I always will be" It was true, because what Dan didn't know was I had my own date. I was planning the same as he did.
"Always?" He questioned
"Always and forever" What he also doesn't know is that my date has passed and I'm only still here because of him. I released dan and looked him straight in the eyes "Dan I love you so much"
"I love you too phil" he chocked, tears streaming down his cheeks. I thought about his last chapter and spoke softly.
"one day we'll have a family dan, me and you" I said and more tears escaped his eyes as mine began to moisten "we'll get married. Chris and PJ can argue over best man" I chuckled and Dan copied as tears continued to trickle down his face "and we'll live in a lovely house bear. It'll be perfect"

I felt in my pocket and the cube shaped object was still there, that had once been stashed in this room but I had concealed it as soon as I stepped in this morning. I got down on one knee and produced the box "this could be the start of us dan. Everything we've both wanted, a life together. So. Daniel James Howell " I chocked up a little "will you marry me?" Dan stood silent for a second, like he didn't belive it. Before breaking into a massive grin, tears fell onto the floor near me.
"yes! Yes phil!" he cried as I slid the ring onto his finger. We both hugged and I knew this was everything I could've ever wished for.

Imagine if dan would've ended his life before this. Imagine if either one of us had succeeded in taking our own lives. We wouldn't have known how good it could get.

I will always love my bear. And he will always love his lion