Dangerous Husbands, Broken Wives [18+]

SEVENTY TWO: SURPRISE

[ANASTASIA]

For better or for worse, Ivan and I fall into a new routine.

After returning home from Kazan, Ivan makes it impossible for me to ignore him. The moment we are alone, he's all over me. And if I were to be honest, I'm just as much all over him.

It's as if the denial, reluctance, and absolute rationality that always guided me to keep myself at a safe distance from him suddenly snapped, and now, I can't come up with a single decent reason to suppress what Ivan and I unwittingly unleashed in that hotel room that night.

My hands ache to touch his body, my heart swells at every little word of praise and admiration that slips out of his mouth when he talks about how perfect I am.

What kind of insane demon is possessing me? Am I really this desperate that I will willingly destroy the fragile self-control I've built up so painstakingly over these past few years just to let it go to hell the moment he sets his gaze on me? Because right now, there's no question that I do. I want him to look at me, to think of me, to crave me... I want it all.

I should have stopped this stupid train wreck long before it became a regular need like food and water. But for some reason, I didn't. Why not? I guess because once you allow yourself to get caught up in something that has no regard for the consequences, you lose your sense of rational thought, and everything becomes distorted.

"Mommy, Tati wants to go with Ivan. Please, Mommy, Tati wants to go with Ivan. Please, Mommy."

I snap back to reality, only to realize my little sunshine is back to crying her heart out. It's been two days since we got back from Kazan, exactly two days since Tatiana learned of Ivan's new school and exactly two days of her being stubborn and a completely childish mess so she could join her brother in the new school.

Every time I tell her she can't, she throws a fit, and I swear if she does it one more time, I'll send her to bed without supper.

But, of course, I won't. I adore my daughter, even though she's driving me crazy right now.

"Mommy! Mommy!"

"Yeah, sweetie, I hear you."

"Then, can I go?" She looks at me with puppy dog eyes that seem to say 'please' even though they never actually utter any words. "Please, Mommy. I want to go with Ivan."

If only I could say yes. But I can't. It's a boys' school, for starters, and even if it weren't, I don't think I could handle being away from both my kids.

I give her a smile and pull her into a hug, planting kisses on both her cheeks. "Wouldn't you rather stay with Mommy, sweetheart? You don't wanna leave Mommy, do you?"

She shakes her head, giving me a sad face.

My little girl is growing up. Part of me wishes she'd remain my innocent little princess forever, but deep down, I know she won't. My children will eventually find their own paths, build their own lives. That's what children do. They grow and change, learning to walk, talk, and become independent. Adolescence brings moodiness, rebellion, and independence. It's just part of life, an inevitable phase.

But I refuse to let my daughter grow up too fast.

I kiss her cheek again, grinning. "That's my baby. Now, how about we make some dinner for Daddy and Junior so we can surprise them?"

"Okay," she says with a huge smile and teary eyes.

We head to the kitchen together.

"How do I look, Mommy? Like a big chef?" Tati twirls around excitedly, her smile bright as ever.