LEILA

13. the beginning of something new

LEILA

"Wh-what?"

My jaw tightens and I feel the fear of rejection starting to eat every fiber of my body. I hold his gaze for another second then I lean back on my chair, wanting the earth to swallow me for the nth time. He's going to reject me and I can feel it.

Why did I even try when I know it's futile?

"I said I like you, will you please go out with me." I said in a rush, biting my lip afterwards.

He just stares at me and the suspense is deadly, alongside the fear.

"Leila, I, uh..." That sounded negative. Fuck, he's going to reject me and leave. Please, don't. I don't know if my little heart can take it. Please don't say no.

"Please, think about it.." I insisted, my hands trembling under the table.

I'm not crying. I will not cry. I will never cry in front of him. I don't want to cry because I look pathetic and sweaty and snotty and ugly.

"No, it's not that." Luke softly spoke and lifted my chin up. "I- I mean, I will, Leila. B-but will you be able to deal with the criticisms if everyone finds out? Your parents... their reactions, will it be fine with them that you're going out with your teacher? If the headmaster reports to them? Let's not kid around here."

My vision starts to blur as the fountain of tears slowly go up my eyes. "I- I can! I'm tougher than you think. Every girl in the school dislikes me and I'm used to it. I don't care what they think of me, I am what I am."

He sighed and caressed my cheek. "I... okay, we'll try."

"We'll try sounds so much better than I'm sorry!"

"But I-I'm sorry, Leila. I'm sorry, too. If it didn't happen between us you won't be experiencing this pain. I should've pushed you away, it could've not happened! I know it must be hard for you. You want it back, right? Your virginity?" he leans in and wipes the tears rolling down my cheeks. He gives me a sad smile that completely shatters my aching heart.

My chest tightens and I hold his hand on my cheek, like it will be the rope holding me in place when the rest of my world is crumbling down. "No, I was being stubborn. I must be looking pathetic now. I- I'm sorry I dragged you in my fucked up problem of being a horny drunk. I'm sorry, Luke. I'm so, so sorry." and that's when I started to cry, hard. I couldn't keep my walls up for any longer.

"Love, don't cry." he tucks some strands of my hair behind my ear and he leans forward to kiss my forehead. "I'm here, don't worry. You're not alone. We're in this together."

I sobbed and grabbed a tissue from the table. "Promise me you won't leave me. Promise me you won't side with that girl who said she wants you to father her children!" my voice rises at the thought of that evil witch. She will be my slave for the remaining school days and I'm oh so happy! Serves her right for trying to steal what is mine.

And thanks to her the pain right now subsided a little.

Luke suddenly bursts out laughing and I angrily let go of his hand in annoyance. It's not even funny! He always ruins the drama!

"Whatever. Go on and laugh and let me cry a hundred liter of tears all night while you help her plot all her evil plans specially made for my downfall." I roll my eyes and hug myself for fake protection.

"Miss Roth actually said that?" He snorts and face palms. "You know I won't do that!" he continues laughing, his eyes turning into little adorable crescent moons with sparkles in those fascinating blue orbs. I do not try stop the smile from appearing on my face because he really looks cute and handsome and hot all at the same fucking time it should be appreciated and not go unnoticed.