LEILA

17. denied love and heartaches

LEILA

"I'm only repeating this once, Ms. Wilson. Get the hell away from my boyfriend now." I demanded once more, this time walking to the front. With every click of my heels I feel my heart speed up and my confidence double.

It was as if the room closed in on us. Everyone was in shock, and I can imagine the heart of every single person in the room beating fast. Of course, mine is beating thrice as theirs. This is the end of our pretense and there's no taking back what I said.

"Wh-what do you mean your boyfriend?" Ms. Blair asked, looking alternately between Luke and I.

I scoffed. "Are you pretending to be an idiot or you're just simply dumb?"

"Neither. Just answer me!"

When I'm finally standing beside Luke, I gave him a look that wouldn't take a genius to decipher. You tell them, I said.

Long silence passed and I raised an eyebrow at Luke. He was only looking down at his black leather shoes, not making an effort to move from his place or even glance at me.

I sighed and glared at Blair. I guess I have no choice but to say it myself. "We're in a relationship, obviously. Luke and I." I proudly answered in a voice everyone can hear, crossing my arms over my chest while rolling my eyes at her.

Most of my classmates gasped.

She turned to Luke and looked utterly disgusted. "Sir Hemmings, is she saying the truth? You're in a relationship with your student?!"

Murmurs started to go around and bounce off of the four cornered classroom and I started to become afraid of what I actually just got us into. I don't give a damn about what others think of me. I know I don't. Everyone hates me and I already know that but why does it still scares me so much? I look down in shame as my eyes turn slightly glossy from the tears threatening to form.

"Leila is cool and hot stuff and all that, but with a teacher? Really?" a boy seating in the middle says, not even attempting to tone it down. I can hear it for fuck's sake.

"Leila Quinn, dating math professor Luke Hemmings! I'm not surprised because the bitch has no morals!" I slowly clench my fists in anger and shut my eyes.

"Go take a video and send it to all your contacts!" then someone agreed to do what was told.

I don't care. They can say whatever the hell they want as long as I have Luke. I don't care. I don't care at all. With his love and support, nobody can drag me down.

"Sir Hemmings, I'm asking you! Are you in a relationship with your student? Is this the kind of environment that you have in this school?!" Blair sneers.

"Shut the fu-"

"N-no," Luke answered, "She's making up things. We're not in a relationship."

Luke was not meeting my eyes. The moment I heard those words slip out of his mouth, I found myself stepping away from him, needing some distance to try and make sense of it all.

"She's... she's not my-" Luke tried to say it once again and my ever betraying tears immediately blurred my vision. I desperately tried to hear him say it, because I might have been delusional even before I screamed the shit out of my throat. Maybe my mind just played the worst case scenario I've been dreading once I reveal it, just to remind me that it is too risky.

"...she's not my girlfriend. I won't be in a relationship with my student, everyone knows that." he grinned and chuckled as if it's the most hilarious thing ever.

I shut my eyes and let the first few tears fall on the floor. I needed to clear my head. So I did the only thing I could think of to save me from further damage.

Run.

I turned around and ran, letting the door bang against the wall. I didn't have to worry about my things. Or running too long to burn off my fats for a better figure. Or to think about anything, anything at all.

I only had to run.

-

I was awake, jerked into consciousness in the black stillness of the house. I stayed still, shivering even though I'm still dressed the way I was before I entered my room hours ago. I turned my head to the side and saw the moon illuminating the whole unlit room, together with the stars.

It's funny how I cried myself to sleep, but I can still feel the dread of today's earlier events after waking up. I'm pretty sure that nothing can compare to the weight in my chest at this very moment. It's worse than losing your favorite stuff toy ever since three years old, or having your final thesis copy corrupted, or knowing that your favorite couple on the whole wide world broke up because the boy is gay. Fuck, I don't even know what I'm talking about anymore.

All I know is that I'm freaking bleeding right in the heart.

I started whimpering, sobbing, and crying so hard until I can barely breathe. How can he do this to me? He promised. He promised that we will always be together in every problem. Everything. But he just denied me in front of the whole class! It took my whole heart to step up and scream at Ms. Wilson to stop trying to flirt with him because I am his girlfriend. And what did he do? He threw my heart away and stepped on it. It was my whole fucking heart.

"Leila?" I hear the door creak open and Kellin was standing there, Kendall behind him.

They entered and gently closed the door, waiting for me to say something. But I didn't, so Kendall went and sat beside me on the bed, my brother just in front of us.

"I heard what happened, and I received the video just like everyone else. I was searching for you everywhere but I kind of knew you ran back home." my best friend said, rubbing my back because I was still sobbing.

"What do you mean by video? It isn't a scandal with Luke right?" my brother hesitantly asked, his nervousness evident in his voice. I scoffed and kicked him in the shin.

"Of course not, you idiot." I mumbled, not having the strength to scream or shout for the second time today. "I'm not a freaking porn star."

Kendall's grip on me tightened. "But first things first. You're still going to graduate, Leila. The one who sent the video to everyone is in trouble and..." she suddenly looked at my brother with an unsure expression. I raised an eyebrow and asked, "And what?"

"Uh, never mind."

I rolled my eyes and stood up. "I've had enough of my life here. Too many bad memories. So I've decided on one thing, and since my family wants me to focus on my studies that's exactly what I'm going to do in the next four to five years."

"B-but you also had your greatest memories here, Leila. We met here. We became best friends here, w-were those bad too?" I hear her voice crack.

"What are you saying?" Kellin asked. I grabbed my biggest suitcase and turned to my closet. I opened it and threw all my shirts, dresses, and girl stuff inside, before turning around to clarify myself.

"After I graduate, I'm pursuing fashion design for college."

They still looked confused. "So? You're packing this early? The prestigious university here is a four hour drive, and you haven't even graduated yet. Don't be that excited!" He chuckled and playfully ruffled my hair.

"No," I sighed. "I'm leaving for Paris."