Beauty and the beast

43

Today is April 9th, a day before I leave for New York and my baby's birthday. Today I would've had a five year old. I stopped by Dollar Tree and Party City to get some things to decorate her burial. Now I'm out here decorating by myself. Jade and Mimi usually come with me but I wanted to come by myself this year. "Happy birthday baby girl." I mumbled as I tied all the pink and purple balloons to one of the stakes in the ground.

I tied the big rose gold "5" to the other one. After I was done decorating with all the pink, purple and butterfly stuff I bought I sat down and just admired it. "Mommy did such a good job for you baby." Every year I like to decorate her burial as if it's the theme of her birthday party. This year's theme is butterfly world. I took out the number five candle and stuck it in the pink and purple frosting of the solo chocolate cupcake. I lit it then sat it down for her to blow out.

"Mommy don't know if you a chocolate or vanilla girl, sorry. But mommy loves chocolate so I'm sure you would too, if you don't, I'm sorry." I wiped my tears. "I don't deserve this." I sobbed. I laid down on the blanket I bought as it started raining. It started raining really hard but I don't care, I feel so numb right now. I heard a car pull up and a door slam immediately after. "BAE!" I glanced behind me and Dae came running towards me. "Bae it's raining, why you just laying here? Come on, get up." He reached and tried to grab me.

"No." I shook my head. "I wanna lay here with my baby for a little bit." I cried. He sighed and laid down with me. "No get up, you gonna get sick or something." I turned and looked at him. "So." He wrapped his arms around my waist. I buried my face in his chest and kept crying. He just rubbed my back and let me cry. "Okay, let's go." I sniffled and pulled away after almost thirty minutes. He got up and helped me up. "Okay baby, mommy's gonna see you later. Happy birthday baby girl, I love you." I kissed my hand then touched her tombstone. Glock grabbed the blanket and folded it then grabbed my hand.

           He walked me to my car then walked to his car and put the blanket in his trunk. "You going home?" He asked me as he walked back to my car. "Yes."
I nodded. "Okay I love you, imma be right behind you okay?" "Okay I love you too." I put the window all the way down and leaned out, kissing him on the lips. He walked away and got in his car. I crunk my car up and started driving. I started crying again thinking about the day I lost her and how I reacted after.

            I quickly put on some music so my evil thoughts didn't consume me. Because they were telling me to run myself off the road and just end it all. When we got home Dae came and opened my door for me then grabbed the cover out the drunk and threw it away. "I could've just washed it." I mumbled. "I can buy another one." He shrugged and unlocked the door. "Go take a shower in our bathroom, imma go in a guest bathroom." He said as he closed and locked the door back.

            "Or you can just shower with me." I glanced up at him. "You sure?" I nodded. We made our way upstairs and grabbed our stuff then went in the bathroom. It was supposed to be a regular shower but it somehow turned sexual and honestly I'm not mad at it. "How you knew I was out there?" I asked as we snuggled into the bed and under the covers. "I had followed yo location. You ain't tell me where you was going and after you was gone for a while I was worried." "Aww my baby love me." I wrapped my arms around his neck.

            "You know I do, you know ion even play bout you. When I seen yo location was at the cemetery I got worried, shiddd I did bout a hunnid getting there!" "Well what you thought I was going at the cemetery?" I laughed. "Man ion even know, I just started thinking the worse and I was getting ready to crash the fuck out." "You are crazyyyy, you need to stop that." I cackled. "Nah man I'm so for real." "I could've just been visiting somebody like I was actually doing."

           "Like I said, I started thinking the worse." He shook his head. "But you said you was visiting yo baby right?" "Mh hm, her name is Nomi. She should've been five today." I nibbled on my bottom lip. "Damn." "Yup." I nodded sadly. I didn't really wanna go into details on it. "When she died I was so numb." I started to vent instead. "I was prescribed percs and I wasn't taking em but then one day I just decided to take two and I got high as hell."

            "When I say I was so high I couldn't even feel shit but happiness. It was such a euphoric feeling." I started thinking back on that night. "I had just moved into the apartment I was staying in, I was living there by myself. Me and my couple pieces of furniture. I had started ignoring everybody, I ignored them for like two weeks. I was just in there getting high as fuck. Not eating, barely showering, just popping pills." I shook my head.

             "Of course nobody knew. I stopped ignoring them so they didn't catch onto me but one day I was so sad and depressed and I swallowed half the bottle. That's the day they found out about my drug habit. Everybody was calling and texting me and I was back to ignoring them. KD had came by to check on me and he found me in there unconscious." I started crying again. "I know you get so sick of me always fucking crying." I quickly wiped my tears.

            "I'll never get sick of nothing about you or anything you do. I'm happy you feel comfortable enough to cry and be vulnerable round me, let it all out baby, I'm always here for you." "Thank you my Glocky, I love you so much baby." I leaned up and kissed him. "I love you more." He kissed me back as somebody started knocking on the front door. He got out the bed and grabbed his gun. "I'll be right back."

            "Okay." He opened the door and walked out the room. A couple seconds later I heard the front door open. I heard a couple voices but I couldn't make out who it was. I heard footsteps coming up the stairs then the room door opened again. "Yo Kyha, yo sistas nem out here fa you." Dae's little brother Mason peeked his head in the door. "Okay I'm coming." I got up. I slipped my feet into my bed room slippers and walked out behind him.

            When I walked down stairs Mimi, Jade, KD Khloe were standing there. "What's going on?" I raised my right eyebrow. "I ain't do nothing this time, I swear." I held my hands up. "Girl ain't nobody say you did nothing." Mimi laughed. "Well damn you just gone stand there? You ain't gone hug none of us?" Jade laughed as well. I went and hugged all of them. I picked Khloe up and started peppering kisses on her face. "What y'all doing here?" I shifted Khloe to my other hip.

            "We can't come see our sista?" Kobe laughed. "Boy." I popped him. "But come in the kitchennn." Mimi started walking, the rest of them followed behind her. I skeptically followed behind. When I walked in the kitchen it was pink, purple and butterfly decorations adorning the island. It was a some food from Publix and even a butterfly shaped cake that read "Happy 5th Birthday Nomi!"

          "Y'alllll!" I looked at all of them shocked. "How did y'all knowww?" "We went out there to see our girl and we seen all the stuff out there so we ran out and got all this and came to give my niece her butterfly party." Jade said. "Aww I love y'all so much! Y'all gone make me cry and I been crying all damn day." I started fanning my face. "Dae go get the boys so they can eat and party too." I turned and looked at him.

           He nodded and left out the kitchen. I put Khloe down and went in the living room and grabbed the remote. I turned the tv on and went to YouTube. I turned on Rod Wave then we got the party started. I'm so happy and thankful that god put them in my life. I seriously don't know what I'd do without my little village.

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           Please excuse any mistakes!!!!