Clandestine || J. Garoppolo

[18]

Hey guys

Obviously I wasn't doing that well last time we met, and I'm sorry for making any of you nervous.

I was just really upset, I guess.

It hasn't been that great of a week. I know I freaked a couple of you out when I mentioned dying, but I'm beyond the psychological ego phase to the super ego phase where I know how me killing myself would effect others consequently leading to me not doing it. Sorry. when I get stressed or upset I start ranting and rambling about what's on my mind. at this point in time it's psychology.

So Eric and I have been going through some shit lately. He's finding a bunch of girls attractive and I guess I'm just jealous cause he's my best friend and I guess I love him idk

Song suggestions:
-Clarity by Andrew Garcia
-Drunk by Ed Sheeran
-Stars in your eyes by Air Supply
-Countdown by Beyoncé

Anyway. I hope you guys like it. Sorry again for freaking out.

Enjoy
**********************************

"Congratulations Matt, Shahrzad! You two look absolutely gorgeous!" Nikki exclaimed, hugging the two. Haz chuckled. They did look absolutely gorgeous. It was about one in the morning, but it was the first time they had seen the couple tonight.

"Shahrzad, this is my best friend Hazel," Jimmy introduced.

"It's lovely to meet you! Congratulations you two! You look absolutely stunning!" she told them. 

"Thank you, Haz," Matt blushed, and they left to let the newlyweds have their own moment.

The dance floor was packed with players and family alike, no one really caring whether they knew each other or not. Some club song was ending, and a slow dance came on. Haz looked around for Logan, but she didn't see him. Finally her eyes found him at the bar. A moment later his eyes met hers.

"May I have this dance?" Jimmy asked her, and she broke eye contact with Logan.

"Yes, you may," she smiled, and she looked back at Logan. He shrugged and held up two drinks, grinning. She nodded, and he did, too.

Jimmy and Hazel gracefully floated to the floor, the dim lighting romantic and illuminating her face beautifully. They casually danced, much like Senior prom oh-so-many years ago, both smiling contently. Hazel's dress twirled with her movements, making it look like she was dancing on a midnight blue cloud.

"The wedding was lovely," Hazel finally said, her eyes flitting around the dance floor. She found Tom and Gisele and Rob and Alex, all gazing lovingly into their partners' eyes.

"Yeah, it was," Jimmy agreed. "You could practically see the love in Matt's eyes when he was saying his vows."

The two were near the edge of the dance floor, and Addy, sitting at the table closest to it, heard their conversation.

You can practically see the love in your eyes when you talk to Haz, she thought, snorting.

"I know. It's so romantic. I love weddings," she sighed dreamily, and Jimmy dipped her. She smiled wider. Addy couldn't take anymore and stood up to find Danny.

"I love weddings, too," Jimmy lied, and his heart suddenly felt heavy.

I hate weddings, he thought bitterly. I absolutely hate them. Because I'll never marry the girl I truly love.