Beyond the lens - Billie Eilish

45 -

POV BILLIE

From Billie's side, the past ten days had been marked by a strange tension she was desperately trying to hide, not only from others but from herself. That night in the trailer, as Ellie had slowly drawn closer to her, emotions had gotten the better of her. The palpable tension, the silent exchange between them... Everything had come to a sudden halt when Finneas arrived, but the confusion remained. Billie had done her best to just push it aside, as she often did with things that unsettled her. But this time, it wasn't so simple.

Billie didn't know how to act around Ellie now. They'd crossed a blurry line, and even though she hadn't made any effort to discuss it, that line lingered in her mind. She could've easily sent a message, made the first move, but something held her back. Maybe it was the fear of what it would actually mean, maybe it was the desire not to complicate things more than they already were. So, like Ellie, Billie had chosen silence, convincing herself that it would eventually fade away.

One night, while she was in her hotel room, lost in thought, her phone buzzed. It was Zoé. Her childhood friend, her confidante. If anyone could help her untangle all this, it was Zoé.

Zoé: "So, have you talked to Ellie since that night?"

Billie: "No, not really. I mean, we've run into each other during the concerts, but you know how it is. Too many people, too much to deal with."

Zoé: "Yeah, too much to deal with... or too many excuses not to face her?"

Billie: "Damn, it's not that simple, Zoé."

Zoé: "Oh, really? Because to me, it's pretty clear. Something happened between you two. You should talk to her before it gets even more complicated."

Billie: "What if she doesn't feel the same? What if that night ruined everything? I'd rather wait for her to make the first move. If she wants to talk, she'll come to me, right?"

Zoé: "Seriously, Billie? That's your plan? To wait for Ellie to come to you? I know you too well to believe you're just going to sit back on this. You know it's on you to reach out to her."

Billie: "Maybe, but I don't know how to find the time. There's so much happening right now..."

Zoé: "Yeah, yeah, you can give me ALL the excuses in the world, but you know what you need to do."

Billie set down her phone with a slight groan, Zoé's words still buzzing in her head. She knew her friend was right, but the thought of confronting her own feelings terrified her. She wasn't ready. Not yet.

----

The next day, as she was getting ready for the last concert in Sydney, Finneas knocked on her door. Her brother, always tuned into her moods, had clearly noticed something was off.

Finneas: "Hey, what do you think about us organizing something after tonight's concert? Like a little party, just with the crew and close friends, to celebrate the end of the Australian tour."

Billie frowned. She wasn't sure she had the energy for a party, but the idea of a relaxing moment after these intense days had its appeal.

Billie: "I don't know... Do you think everyone will be up for it?"

Finneas shrugged: "Of course they will. And it'd give you a chance to see Ellie in a more laid-back setting. I know you've been worried about that."

Billie looked away, caught off guard by her brother's perceptiveness: "You think that's a good idea too?"

Finneas sat down beside her, his gaze filled with understanding: "Waiting won't solve anything. It'd be good if you both had a chance to talk, or at least to unwind a bit together, without all the work pressure."

Billie sighed, running a hand through her hair: "I guess you're right."

Finneas gave her a comforting smile: "I'm always right, Billie, always."

Billie sighed again: "We'll see about that, bro."

They spent the rest of the afternoon organizing the details of the party. Finneas found a house to rent not far from Sydney, a perfect place for a quiet evening with the crew, away from the fans, away from the pressure of the show.

The night of the concert came quickly, and with it, her apprehension grew. Billie was mentally preparing herself for the party that would follow. If everything went well, it might finally be a chance to clear the air with Ellie.