Beyond the lens - Billie Eilish

57 -

Ellie woke up earlier than expected. Her flight to Paris was scheduled for 10 AM, but the hours before were always the hardest, especially when it came to traveling with Livai.

Her heart tightened at the thought of locking him in a crate again for over eight hours, leaving him alone with only his stuffed toy. "Come on, Livai, you know everything's gonna be fine, right?" she whispered, gently petting his head.

Once ready, Ellie put Livai on his leash and left the hotel room. The drive to the airport was smooth, but she couldn't stop worrying about how the trip to Paris would unfold. Was she really ready to see her friends again? Would she be able to enjoy the trip? As she walked, she felt a little disconnected from the world around her, but she forced herself to stay positive.

Suddenly, she found herself standing in front of the airport doors, her heart racing. The atmosphere was filled with a familiar frenzy, mixed with the smell of freshly brewed coffee and distant announcements. Families in a hurry, groups of friends, solo travelers—all seemed lost in their own worlds.

She headed to the airline counter, where an attendant greeted her with a professional smile. Ellie bombarded her with questions about the flight conditions for her dog.

Attendant: "He'll be well taken care of, don't worry."

Ellie felt a little lighter, but the separation was still hard. She placed Livai in the crate, giving him one last look full of promises, "I'll be back soon, okay? Stay good." Livai looked at her with his big trusting eyes, and it gave her a bit of comfort.

Once her faithful companion was secure, Ellie walked toward the boarding gate. She drifted into daydreams, knowing she needed this trip, to reconnect with her friends, to breathe a little, and to try and forget the weight of the past few days. She wanted to believe that Paris would give her a chance to recharge.

Boarding was quick, and soon she was settled in her seat, headphones on, music playing softly. Lana Del Rey's voice enveloped her, the melancholic lyrics offering her a brief moment of solace. Ellie let herself drift, her head against the window, watching the clouds pass below her. A sense of lightness washed over her, as if she were floating above her troubles.

As she closed her eyes, a soft melody snuck into her sleep. She thought she heard Billie's voice, whispering comforting words, like a message guiding her through her thoughts. When she opened her eyes, she quickly realized the voice wasn't in her head; her playlist had picked one of her songs. A smile spread across her face, and she couldn't help but laugh softly at this little coincidence.

The flight went smoothly, and time passed quicker than she had expected. The landscapes beneath her slowly changed from barren land to lush green fields, and soon, the gray rooftops of Paris appeared on the horizon. The City of Light welcomed her with a promise of renewal. Maybe this trip would help her find some joy again.

After landing, she rushed to pick up Livai. When she saw him, her heart swelled with happiness. He looked just as relieved to see her. As they walked, she observed the Parisians around her, rushing, absorbed in their phones, all dressed in black as if they were carrying some invisible weight.

Suddenly, in the crowd, she spotted a familiar figure. It was Joan, standing there, grinning from ear to ear. Ellie felt her heart warm up.

Joan rushed over to her, followed by Aubrey, who had her arm around him. Livai, all excited, was the first to jump, running toward Aubrey, whose face lit up in surprise.

Joan: "Ellie!" he shouted, hugging her tightly, a warm embrace that eased some of her mind.

Ellie: "I'm so happy to see you guys!"

Aubrey leaned down to pet Livai, her laugh ringing through the air.

Aubrey: "I missed you too, buddy!"

Ellie: "You know, he was really brave, once again."

The questions about her flight came pouring in.

Joan: "How was your flight?"

Ellie: "Pretty good, I slept most of the way," she answered, smiling back at him. However, Aubrey's look seemed to understand that something was off.

They made their way to the airport exit, and during the taxi ride, the city passed by outside the window. Ellie was sitting between Joan and Aubrey, her heart beating a little faster. Everything seemed so beautiful and promising, but she couldn't stop thinking about what she had left behind: her father, Billie, everything she had been dealing with, everything she was trying to hide.

In the taxi, the conversations kept flowing. Joan was sharing the latest updates from their group of friends, anecdotes that made Ellie smile, even though she still felt a slight emptiness inside. She wanted to laugh, to have fun, but every burst of voice, every laugh, felt a bit off. She felt like a spectator in her own life, but she did her best to blend into the atmosphere.

Aubrey, always perceptive, had that searching look, trying to find answers Ellie wasn't ready to give.

Aubrey: "Are you okay, Ellie?" she asked, a note of hesitation in her voice.

Ellie smiled at her, but her eyes betrayed a slight doubt.

Ellie: "Yeah, I'm glad to be here, with you guys," she managed to say, her voice blending with the ambient noise of the city. She focused on the passing lights and the music in the taxi, hoping that the dynamic of the trip would help her feel better.

When they arrived at the apartment they had rented for the stay, the excitement of the reunion was palpable. The space was warm, filled with laughter and light, but Ellie still felt a bit lost. She sat on the couch, Livai at her feet, while her friends prepared a spread of pastries from the bakery downstairs. Conversations swirled around her, but she felt like a ghost, watching life continue around her. Joan and Aubrey's laughter was contagious, but with every burst of laughter, Ellie felt a dull ache. She knew she would have to talk about what was bothering her, but for now, she preferred not to ruin the mood.

Finally, as the conversation grew louder, Aubrey moved closer to her, a glimmer of concern in her eyes.

Aubrey: "Ellie, you know you can talk, right? If something's wrong..."

Ellie looked at Aubrey, tears welling up in her eyes, ready to finally share the weight that had been crushing her for days...