Beyond the lens - Billie Eilish

52 -

Ellie gently opened the door to her hotel room, checking if Kate was still there. The bed was empty, neatly made, a sign that Kate had probably gone back to her own room. Ellie sighed slightly, thinking that maybe she should check on Kate later to make sure she was okay after the disastrous evening she'd had. But for now, her thoughts were elsewhere, torn between the anger she still felt toward her father and a strange sense of nostalgia that washed over her, a mix of emotions she couldn't fully understand.

In a moment of kindness, despite the turmoil inside her, Ellie took a step back and invited her father in. Maybe a part of her still wanted something, a moment where she could feel like the little girl she once was, before everything fell apart.

Ellie: "Do you want to come in?"

Her father seemed surprised by the invitation, but nodded, clearly happy.

Father: "Sure. If you're okay with it."

Ellie let him enter, closing the door behind him slowly, her thoughts already drifting elsewhere. Suddenly, an idea crossed her mind. She remembered how much she used to admire her father when she was a child. He had always been her mentor, especially when she started getting into photography. That memory touched her more than she expected. She realized that a part of her still wanted to show him her achievements, as if she had something to prove. As if she were still that little girl, desperate for approval that had never come.

Ellie: "I wanted to show you something."

She walked over to her computer and opened a folder filled with her favorite shots, photos she was particularly proud of.

Ellie: "These are photos I took during the tour."

She said this in a detached tone, as if she was trying to downplay how important it was to her.

Her father approached, watching the images flash across the screen. Ellie stayed silent, holding her breath, trying to read his eyes for any reaction, any sign that he saw the artist she had become. She showed him landscapes, faces, moments caught on the fly. She even showed a photo of Livai.

Ellie: "You remember him, right? Livai..."

Her father nodded slowly, looking thoughtful.

Father: "Of course I remember him. Quite the dog..."

Ellie closed her eyes for a moment, trying to calm the surge of emotions that rose within her. This moment, showing her work to her father, felt like a twisted version of her childhood. She remembered those times when she'd come home from school, excited to show him the photos she'd taken with the camera he'd given her. He'd encouraged her, supported her. Maybe that was one of the few things they really shared back then.

Father: "You really have an amazing talent, Ellie."

He looked at her, his face serious, almost moved.

Father: "I'm proud of you."

These words hit her like a punch. "Proud." A word she hadn't heard from him in so long. She turned her gaze away, unable to look him in the eye, feeling her eyes fill with tears she refused to let fall. He didn't deserve to see her cry, not after everything he had done. But she couldn't deny that those words affected her more than she wanted to admit.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, her father continuing to admire the photos. The silence wasn't exactly uncomfortable, but there was something hanging in the air, an underlying tension neither of them knew how to address.

Finally, her father broke the silence. He cleared his throat lightly, as if preparing to say something difficult.

Father: "Ellie... I need to talk to you about something."

Ellie turned her head toward him, curious but also wary. She could see in his eyes that he had something important to say, but she wasn't sure if she was ready to hear it.

He fumbled in the pocket of his jacket and pulled out an envelope. Ellie frowned when she saw it, a lump immediately forming in her stomach. She reached out to take the envelope, already feeling that something wasn't right.

Ellie: "What is this?"

She asked, her voice colder than she intended.

Her father looked at her, clearly uncomfortable.

Father: "It's just... a formality."

Ellie opened the envelope carefully, pulling out the sheets of paper inside. She started to read, and the more she read, the tighter her heart felt. The words on the page seemed blurry, as if they weren't real. But they were. The document stated that by signing, she would permanently give up any financial support from her father, on the grounds that she was now an adult and independent.

She looked up, her hands shaking, tears of anger rising inside her. She felt her stomach knot, nausea creeping in.

Ellie: "Are you serious?"

She asked, her voice choked with emotion.

Her father, clearly uncomfortable, avoided her gaze.

Father: "You don't need my support anymore, Ellie. You're strong, you have a job, you're doing well. That money... it could be better used for Luca and Brandon. For their future."

Luca and Brandon. Those two names echoed in Ellie's mind like a slap. She'd almost forgotten about that part of the conversation, the one where her father told her about his two other kids, born after he abandoned her. That reminder sent a wave of rage through her she hadn't felt in a long time.

Ellie: "So that's it?"

She exhaled, her voice trembling with anger.

Ellie: "You want me to sign this paper so you can focus your resources on your real kids?"

Father: "It's not like that..."

But Ellie cut him off.

Ellie: "No! That's exactly it! You abandoned me. You and your new family, your perfect kids, in your perfect new world. And now, you want me to disappear from that part of your life too? To be officially erased from your existence?"

Her father opened his mouth to protest, but the words seemed to fail him. Ellie was too angry to listen anyway. She quickly signed the document with trembling hands and handed it to him, her eyes burning with tears she refused to let fall in front of him.

Ellie: "There, it's done. You can go now. Congratulations, you finally did it. You erased me."

Her father looked at her, visibly shaken.

Father: "Ellie, I didn't want it to go this way..."

Ellie: "Get out," she spat, her voice cold and sharp. "Now."

He hesitated for a moment, but finally got up and left the room, looking defeated. When the door closed behind him, Ellie froze for a few seconds before collapsing completely, uncontrollable sobs shaking her body. She slid to the floor, her back against the door, feeling her whole world crumble once again.

She had wanted to believe, she had wanted to hope, but once again, he had betrayed her. And this time, she knew it was final.