Beyond the lens - Billie Eilish

63 -

The first date of the European tour was fast approaching, and Billie was in her dressing room in London, surrounded by a few close friends. She was laughing with them, an easy smile on her lips, as they chatted about this and that. Zoé was sharing stories from their travels in Europe, little adventures they'd had, and Billie let her mind wander, enjoying the moment.

Sitting on a couch, she stroked her dog's head as he lay at her feet, while the conversation carried on around her. Billie joined in their laughter, savoring this moment of lightness. The tension of the upcoming concert was still faint, hidden behind the excitement of this new tour stage.

When Zoé and the others decided to leave so she could get ready, Billie was left alone with Shark. She took a few moments to play gently with her dog, a smirk on her face, before standing up to take care of the final details of her outfit. In front of the mirror, she was still hesitating between a few options. Her fingers absentmindedly ran over an oversized, colorful football jersey and a red, striped XXL polo, simpler but just as comfortable.

She frowned, trying to focus.

Billie: "Which one's cooler, Shark?" she murmured to her dog, who looked back at her with his tongue hanging out, not really understanding.

As she continued to ponder, the door to her dressing room quietly opened. Billie, without turning around, assumed it was Finneas coming to talk about last-minute concert details.

Billie: "You ready, Finn?"

The silence that followed surprised her. No response. She was about to turn around to see what he was doing, but before she could move, a soft, familiar voice broke the silence.

Ellie: "Billie..."

Her heart skipped a beat. That single word was enough to bring back a wave of memories, of hurt, of unanswered questions. She froze for a moment, unable to react. She knew that voice. Slowly, she turned around and saw Ellie standing at the doorway, hesitant, looking almost awkward in her stance.

A torrent of conflicting emotions washed over Billie. Part of her wanted to smile, to run to Ellie, but another part, darker, more hurt, kept her rooted in place. Everything that had happened, the way Ellie had left without a word, without an explanation, all of it came rushing back.

Billie: "What are you doing here?" she asked, her voice colder than she had intended.

Ellie lowered her eyes, her face tight with a mix of awkwardness and regret. She took a hesitant step into the room, searching for the right words.

Ellie: "Billie... I'm sorry. I know I messed up, and I get it if you're mad at me. I just... didn't know how to handle all of this."

She paused, visibly uncomfortable. Billie stared at her, unmoving, her arms crossed over her chest, trying to hide the impact this sudden appearance had on her.

Ellie: "I hate myself for leaving like that. Without a word, no explanation. You didn't deserve that, I know. I realize how... stupid it was."

Ellie's words seemed to hang in the air, but Billie didn't know what to do with them. She still felt that simmering anger, that wound Ellie's sudden disappearance had left behind. She remembered the days spent wondering if Ellie was okay, if she was safe, if she would ever come back.

Billie: "Do you realize how scared I was for you?" she whispered, her voice almost breaking. "I've lost people like that before."

Ellie looked up, her eyes filled with deep guilt. She opened her mouth to respond, but Billie wasn't finished.

Billie: "You left without saying anything, Ellie. Not even a message to let me know you were okay. I didn't know if you were coming back, if you needed me or even wanted to see me... And that, that's unbearable."