Beyond the lens - Billie Eilish

61 -

London bloomed under a soft light that late afternoon, bathing the cobbled streets in an almost magical atmosphere. For Ellie, Joan, and Aubrey, exploring the city had become a routine that never failed to amaze them. Every day, they let themselves be carried by the unknown, getting lost in narrow alleys, discovering hidden cafes, unlikely art galleries, and shops full of hidden treasures. The beauty of London lay in its corners, in the city's ability to always offer something new to those who dared to get lost.

Yet, despite these light-hearted moments shared with her friends, Ellie felt a weight growing on her shoulders. At every street corner, at every turn, something inside her seemed to remind her of Billie's absence. Weeks had passed without a single word from her, and that weighed heavily on Ellie. A quiet tension followed her, like a shadow growing longer with each passing moment.

"How can I see her again without looking pathetic?" she wondered inwardly. She had pushed Billie away when she needed her most, and now she was stuck. She knew she had been unfair, but how could she start a conversation after so much silence? And that silence... Maybe Billie didn't want to hear from her anymore.

Ellie's dilemma took a cruel form: send a simple, direct message and own up to her wrongs... or run away again, out of fear of rejection. The thought of sending something like "Hey Billie, I've been a total asshole to you, will you forgive me?"... It felt too blunt, too harsh. "I can't send something like that," she thought.

One morning, while they were enjoying brunch at a little café in Shoreditch, the conversation took a decisive turn.

Joan: "You really should contact her, Ellie," he said, setting down his coffee cup. "The longer you wait, the more it's going to eat you up. And, what's the worst that could happen?"

Ellie sighed, absentmindedly tearing into a slice of toast.

Ellie: "I know, but I can't just show up like that. I've been horrible to her. And I don't even know how to find her. She's probably in the middle of tour preparations, and I can't bring myself to do something... so desperate."

Aubrey, who had been silent up until then, finally joined in.

Aubrey: "What if you didn't talk to her directly? Maybe you could go through someone who knows her well, someone who could help you reach out gently."

Ellie looked at her, intrigued.

Ellie: "Like who? I don't really have any connections... well, except..."

Joan: "Finneas!"

Ellie froze.

Ellie: "Finneas?"

Joan: "Yeah, Finneas. Her brother. He's always liked you, right? You two got along pretty well. I'm sure he'd understand why you want to apologize. Maybe he could even help set up a meeting."

Ellie felt a weight lift off her shoulders, as if the solution had suddenly presented itself to her. It was so simple, and yet, she hadn't thought of it. Why hadn't she considered this sooner? Finneas had always been a quiet ally, a protective but open brother. If anyone could understand what she was going through, it was him.

The rest of the brunch was spent drafting a message to Finneas. Joan and Aubrey helped her choose each word carefully, weighing the tone and sincerity Ellie wanted to convey.

Joan: "Okay," Joan said after some thought, "you could say something like:"

"Hey Finneas, I hope you're doing well and that you've had some time to rest during this break. I'd really like to talk to Billie. You probably know how badly I've treated her, and I feel terrible about it... Could you help me see her, maybe before the concert?"

Ellie read and reread the message, her fingers trembling slightly.

Ellie: "It sounds good, but is it too... much? I mean, what if it's already too late? What if he doesn't want to get involved?"

Joan: "You've got nothing to lose, Ellie. If he doesn't respond, at least you'll know you tried. But you need to take this step."

Ellie took a deep breath, then pressed "send." It was done. The message flew into the digital void, taking with it all her fears and doubts. But instead of feeling relieved, Ellie immediately felt a surge of stress.

Joan, sensing what was about to happen, snatched the phone from her hands.

Joan: "No way you're spending the rest of the day staring at your screen waiting for a reply. Come on, let's keep exploring this city."

London was waiting for them, and even though Ellie felt nervous about the silence hanging over her, she knew staying still wouldn't help. So, they went on their adventure, wandering through the less touristy neighborhoods, blending into the crowd without a clear direction. Ellie loved those moments when they got lost in the city, when the unknown took over her worries.

But despite everything, the waiting was unbearable. Time seemed to stretch endlessly, as if each minute without a response from Finneas amplified her inner discomfort.

That afternoon, after a long walk along the Thames, Joan decided it was time to return her phone to Ellie.

Joan: "Here, I think you can take it now."

Ellie, half relieved, half terrified, grabbed her phone and checked the screen. Nothing. No message, no notification. A wave of panic hit her.

Ellie: "He didn't respond," she murmured, trying to hide her disappointment.

Joan: "Maybe it's nothing. He's probably busy, or he's just thinking about the best way to help you."

Ellie nodded, but deep down, doubt was starting to creep in.

Ellie: "What if... what if he doesn't want to help me? What if Billie's already moved on, without me?" Her mind raced, imagining the worst-case scenarios. What if she really had become the unwanted person in this story?

The hours continued to drag on, and Ellie's anxiety reached its peak. She tried to focus on conversations with Joan and Aubrey, but her mind was elsewhere, always focused on that message sent into the void.

Then, finally, as the sun began to dip below the London skyline, a vibration echoed in her pocket. Ellie's heart raced immediately. She pulled her phone out with trembling hands and looked at the screen. It was a notification. From Finneas.

Joan and Aubrey, who had been watching closely, saw Ellie's expression change in a split second.

Aubrey: "What did he say?"

Ellie opened the message, her heart pounding in her chest. Finneas had replied. But what he said... it was going to change everything.