ALL TO MYSELF.

XXXI - Liyah

It's been a few months since I lost the baby and although I'm still sad about it, Pluto has been doing everything in his power to keep my mind off it. We haven't had any serious arguments, the kids have been visiting, and his mom and I are growing so close. We were still getting to know each other better and agreed to keep major holidays light for the first year but Christmas and New Years were an exception. We decided to split the holiday, celebrating Christmas with his family to give the kids their gifts and New Years with mine to get away from the city for a few days. No one in my family knew about the baby which was great because I didn't have to deal with sympathy on top of the emotions I felt when I finally decided it was time to move past the many tragedies of the last year.

"You're doing it again," Pluto scolded as we sat on the couch as the credits from the Sex and the City movie rolled on the screen.

"Doing what?"

"Thinking too hard."

"You don't know what I'm thinking about," I laughed, loosening his arm around my shoulder to stand up and stretch.

"All the shit we just watched in this movie, I can only imagine."

"I was thinking about my birthday actually. I'm trying to figure out what you're planning."

"You'll never guess," he laughed, turning the TV off before standing and walking towards the stairs.

"Can I at least get a hint?"

"Nope," he called from the top of the stairs.

I made my way behind him into our bedroom as he began removing his clothes for bed.

"Are we going on a trip?"

"Your birthday is on Valentine's Day of all days. If I don't take you somewhere you might kill me."

I laughed at his comment as I crawled into bed beside him, resting my head on his chest.

"So where are we going?"

"Liyah, you do this every time we go somewhere. Why can't you just enjoy the surprise?"

"Because I wanna know, baby," I fake cried.

"You not gone let this go are you?" he asked watching me be dramatic.

I shook my head with a slight smile, laying on the pillow and bringing the covers over my shoulder. He rolled over, positioning our bodies to lay between my legs and began placing soft kisses on my neck.

"You still thinking about it?" he asked between kisses.

"Yes," I giggled.

He lifted my shirt, placing soft kisses on my stomach. He hadn't talked about the baby much but I could tell he was dealing with it in his own way by how often he did this. He laid his head on my stomach, rubbing my sides.

"You think it woulda been a girl?" he asked softly.

"Sometimes," I replied, massaging his scalp through his dreads. "But it probably would've been another boy. You're not good at making daughters."

He chuckled before kissing my stomach again.

"I got it right the last time."

"Why are you thinking about babies all of a sudden?"

"That damn movie you just made me watch. I see why Charlotte is your favorite. You just like her."

"As long as I don't end up like Carrie," I laughed. "She was whooping Big with them flowers when she shoulda been using her hands."

"And you sitting there crying."

"So you wouldn't cry if I didn't show up to our wedding?"

"Liyah, you'll beat me to the altar," he laughed. "I ain't got shit to worry bout when it comes to that."

"Now I'm not gone show up since you think you know me."

"Cap. You love me too much to do that."

"Keep thinking that," I laughed.

He slid his hand further up my shirt, gently pulling my nipple ring as I gasped.

"You don't love me that much?" he smirked, looking up at me and pulling a little harder.

"Do you love me that much?"

He leaned up to kiss me, rubbing his thumb across my nipple as his tongue slid against mine.

"You still need proof?" his mouth whispered against mine.

I nodded as we exchanged slight smiles. I leaned up so he could remove my shirt completely, laying back as his eyes hungrily explored me. He started a trail of kisses from my mouth to my neck, making his way back to my chest. He teased and pulled at my nipple ring again before flicking his tongue over it, soft moans escaping my mouth. I wrapped my legs around his waist, gently rubbing the side of his face as I felt myself becoming wet.

"Already?" he chuckled, looking in my eyes as his tongue continued teasing me.

"Shut up," I whispered with a soft smirk.

He led a trail of kisses down my stomach, stopping to slide my boy shorts down my legs. He smiled as he stared at my pussy, glistening in the soft light from my wetness before placing kisses on my inner thighs. He pushed my legs towards my chest as I felt his tongue on my clit, flicking and swirling as my moans increased. I grabbed the sides of his head with both hands, looking down at him as he devoured me with closed eyes.

"I love you," I whispered as he met my gaze.

Without saying anything back he made his way back to my face, giving me a deep kiss as he continued undressing himself. He placed himself at my wet entrance, slowly sliding in and giving me deep slow strokes. We stared into each other's eyes as my hand softly touched the side of his face. He kissed my palm before burying his face in my neck, giving me more intense strokes. My moans became whimpers as I wrapped my arms around his neck, feeling tears forming in my eyes. It was far from our first time making love, but something about this time just felt so different. The passion and emotions I felt became overwhelming as tears began falling down the sides of my face.

"What's wrong, mama?" he stopped.

"Nothing, just emotional."

"You want me to stop?"

"No. I'm fine, I promise."

He continued our lovemaking until we came together. He returned to his side of the bed before turning out the lights, pulling me closer to him and kissing my forehead.

"I love you, Aaliyah."

"I know. I love you too."