ALL TO MYSELF

XXI - Liyah

"Did you enjoy your birthday party, Mama?" I asked cleaning up the kitchen.

"Of course I did. You never know when's the last time you're gonna see everybody."

"Mama, don't talk like that. We beat this before and we'll beat it again."

"Baby, this time feels different. I know you've been using me as an excuse to stay in the house and to distract yourself from the situation with Darius but I want you to go out and live your life."

"You are my life. I need to get you better before anything else. You're my priority."

"You're just like your dad," she chuckled. "He was stubborn too."

Something didn't feel right. She never talked about him.

"I just wish I could go back in time and forgive him so you wouldn't be taking all of this on by yourself. I know you had dreams and Mama's so sorry for making you feel like you had to put that on hold."

"Mama, you're all I have. You know I'd do anything for you."

"Promise me something, Maggie."

"Anything, Mama."

"When you find love, real love, don't let it slip away like I did. You fight to make it work until you just can't no more."

"Yes ma'am. I promise."

"Alright, baby. I'm going lay down. I love you, Aaliyah."

"I love you too, Mama. I'll be in there in a minute to give you your pain meds."

"I don't need em, baby," she said going down the hall. "My pain will be over soon."

I finished cleaning everything up and went to give Mama her pain medicine. She never wanted to admit she needed them but I could see the pain in her eyes and it broke my heart every time I looked at her. I walked down the hall into her bedroom and saw that she was asleep. I went to touch her hand to wake her and her body was ice cold. She was gone.

The plane landing woke me up and I grabbed on to Pluto's arm as I jumped out of my sleep.

"It's okay, we landing," he said softly, grabbing my hand. "You okay?"

"Yeah, just dreaming about Mama."

"You sure you ready to be back here? We can gas up and go back home."

"No, I need this. I need to get back to myself for you."

"I want you to get back to yourself for you, Liyah. I don't like seeing you like this."

We grabbed our bags and got off the plane, the hot Houston sun shining down as we got into a truck.

"Goddamn its hot out here," Pluto complained.

"Well nobody told you to wear a hoodie," I chuckled as he wiped his sweat.

"I didn't wanna go around your people being flashy so I tried to tone it down."

I looked at the FBG chain around his neck and the iced out AP on his wrist.

"Tone it down?" I asked, laughing.

"You know what I mean," he laughed as he grabbed my hand.

I told him about some of the members of my family as we sat in the Houston traffic. My grandma had 4 kids, Mama was the baby and the only girl so of course she was the favorite.

"She sound like Londyn," Pluto laughed.

"You know, I actually just realized you and Gigi have the same amount of kids."