ALL TO MYSELF.

XXVII - Liyah

"Tiff, it's been like 4 hours since you left. Please call me, I'm getting worried. Bye."

I had a sinking feeling that something bad happened but I had no idea what to do or where to start. My mind went back and forth between a car accident and a kidnapping, imagining the absolute worst possible outcomes. My phone started ringing and I snatched it off the counter, expecting a call back from Tiff but it was just Pluto. I guess she left me alone long enough for my mind to wander and give me to think about my relationship. I declined the call, grabbing my keys to drive back home and face my problems head on.

I turned on Mary J Blige as I drove, hoping there was something in her words that would give me guidance on how to work through my relationship issues or give me the strength to leave. I pulled up in the driveway as Pluto rushed out to the car.

"Thank God," he sighed as he pulled me in for a hug. "I thought you were in jail."

"I was mad but not that mad," I chuckled as I pulled away to look at him. "Baby, we need to talk."

"Not right now, Tiff in Dekalb Jail. We gotta go get her," he said walking over to his car.

"Dekalb what?!"

"Jail. I been tryna get in touch with you for an hour. Come on."

I ran over to the passenger side, getting in the car as we sped off. We made our way to the jail and before the car was fully parked I jumped out, rushing inside to the front desk.

"My best friend is here, Tiffany Marshall. I'll pay whatever I have to pay to get her out, I don't care."

"No need. No charges were filed against her so we're processing her out. It should only be a few more moments."

"Charges? What the hell happened?"

"Simple assault. She'll have to pay a $400 fine and appear in court or she could face up to 90 days in jail. They're preparing her for release. You can wait for her outside."

I walked back out to sit in the car and wait for her.

"What happened? She okay?"

"Simple assault. She has to go to court and pay a fine. I'm just glad it's not worse. I don't know what I'll do without her."

"I feel the same way about you," he replied softly.

"Pluto, I-"

"I know what you're about to say. I'm sorry for how I reacted. Shit, I'm sorry for everything bad that's happened since the night I met you. But I can't go back and change the past and I've been trying with everything in me to make up for that. It may not be enough for you but I gave it all I had, Liyah."

Before I could respond, Tiffany walked through the front doors. I jumped out of the car running to hug her.

"Oh my God, don't ever scare me like that again. I thought something terrible happened to you."

"Girl, that place is crawling with fine studs. Trust me, I was alright," she laughed.

I truly admired how she was always able to find the silver lining in any situation. It hit me then that I should try to do the same. I pay so much attention to the negatives that I often forget to appreciate the positives. Pluto got out of the car and walked over to hug her.

"You stamped in Dekalb now, shawty," he laughed.

"Glad I wasn't in Cobb. Y'all would never see me again."

We all laughed as we got in the car, heading to Red Pepper before she got towed.

"I can't believe I really went to jail," she laughed.

"What the hell happened? The lady at the desk said simple assault."

"I simply assaulted Taylor ass when she pulled up at Red Pepper."

"Tiffany!" I yelled, turning around in my seat before laughing.

"The bitch had it coming! It would've been aggravated assault if you got to her first. I did you a favor. You're welcome."

We pulled up next to her car, sitting and talking for a minute.

"I just wanna say something before I get out. Y'all love each other. Liyah, you know it. Pluto, you know it. As I just proved to both of y'all today, shit fucking happens. How you choose to deal with it is what matters. I can't speak on you, Pluto, but Liyah you've forgiven worse. This man not perfect and bitch neither are you. Hell, if you did get a perfect man you would find a flaw. It's too much love between y'all to be finding reasons to hate."

We sat in silence listening to her words before Pluto reached over to grab my hand. She leaned over and placed her hand on ours.

"It's a lot of people wanting to see y'all fail. Don't give them what they want."

She opened the car door to get out.

"I'm going wash the prison off me. Liyah, don't let this stain on my criminal record be for nothing. Pluto, you owe me."

She closed the door and got in her car, driving away. We rode home in an uncomfortable silence, hand in hand, still feeling the weight of Tiffany's words lingering between us. It was obvious there was so much we still wanted to say to each other but decided that silence was best. We arrived at home, going inside and walking up the stairs as we both stopped in the hallway. Him at our bedroom door, me at the guest room door.

"If you still want to break up, I understand. You don't have to rush to move out or nothing," he said with his back turned to me before walking into the bedroom and closing the door.

Hearing how defeated he sounded was heartbreaking but I honestly felt the same. I was tired of fighting about the same thing over and over. I walked into the guest room, closing the door behind me and immediately undressing and getting in bed. Out of habit I slid my foot over to the side of the bed he would be on, met with a cold empty space. I sat up in bed, grabbing my phone and opening my Notes app. I made a list of all the things I loved about not just Pluto, but Nayvadius. His charm, how attentive he was, how patient and caring he was, how he always put me first even if it brought him discomfort. The list went on and on as I slowly started to remember everything that made me fall for him. If he was this great of a person, where did we go wrong? I opened another tab and made a list of the negatives. Outside of Draya and Taylor, I struggled to come up with anything. He wasn't selfish or mean, didn't make me feel beneath him, nothing of the sort. What was I doing?

I got out of the bed and made my way down to hall to our bedroom, slowly opening the door.

"You up?" I asked softly.

"Yeah."

In the moonlight I could see him laying on his back with his arm behind his head staring into space. I walked over to my side of the bed and slid under the covers next to him, wrapping my arm around his waist and laying on his chest. He placed his hand on my back and began slowly rubbing back and forth. Within minutes, he began snoring.