The Sky Under The Sea. {Sequel To Lead Me Out Of The Dark.}

Chapter 44:You.

"What if the fans hate me now?" I hear Austin mumble to himself. "Babe stop worrying, they love you. Trust me they understand." Austin looks at me and smiles. "Cheese ball." he says in a mocking tone. "A delicious burger for lunch? I think so!" I hear Aaron scream as he walks into the bus with a bag. "What's that?" I ask. Aaron looks up at me and shrugs. "Aaron?" He starts laughing and pulls out burgers from the bag.

After we ate our delicious burgers we cleaned up and took Robert out to play before we headed back onto the road. "We should do that more often." Austin says to me. I look up at him and nod my head. "For sure, but when you're home from tour and stuff." I mumble the last part so he doesn't hear me. "When I'm home from tour? I thought we were touring together? I can talk to Rise Records." His voice is persistent. "Austin, after I have our daughter, I'm going to leave the band. I can't continue on the road like this, it's to much for me. I found the perfect replacement too."

Austin looks at me with hurt in his eyes. "But, I thought you wanted this? This is your dream and it came true! But you're just throwing it away! That isn't fair to the fans or you Zundra. We can work things out with the kids." he's practically pleading. I don't even know what to say to him. My mind was made and it won't be changed. "I don't know Austin." He sighs and nods his head. "Well, if you're going to leave then I'm going to leave." He says. I roll my eyes. "Austin don't be immature."

Austin laughs loudly. "I'm not being immature, it's only fair. Why should you have to stay home by yourself while I'm living my dream? It's common sense and common decency." I sigh loudly and shake my head. "There's a difference though, I'm leaving because I can't handle it and you're leaving because it wouldn't be fair? You aren't leaving the band Austin."

"Who's not leaving the band?" I hear Alan say as he walks into the front lounge. "Nobody. We were talking about the sand..... In Cuba." Austin says. I try hard not to laugh but I just burst out laughing anyways. "What's funny?" Alan asks. I cover my mouth and shake my head.

"I'm really excited to get to the venue." I finally get to perform in the acoustic basement with Never Shout Never." I say as I clap my hands and squeal. "You are such a girl, better keep an eye on her Austin." Alan winks and sticks his tongue out. "Fuck off." I say. He laughs. "Why not fuck on?"."Why not shut the fuck up?" I say. Austin laughs loudly. "That was a good one babe." He kisses me and rubs my leg. "Bitch." Alan mumbles. "And proud of it." I shout.

Austin kept showing me all these pictures of me and my fans, what the comments said, what their caption said, what people tweeted, what people said on my tweets. It was all positive feedback, I loved it and I will miss it but it's for the best. "Austin this isn't changing my mind." He looks at me and smiles. "Not yet." He kisses my neck and sucks on my soft spot. I moan but quickly cover my mouth. "Oh hell no, not when I'm on the bus!" Phil screams from his bunk. Austin laughs and starts snorting. I start giggling and then it turns into a laughing fit between me and Austin. The baby was loving it, I could feel her kicking.

"No more my stomach hurts." Austin says as he takes a deep breath. I hold my stomach and take a deep breath. "Phil I hate you!" I shout. I hear Phil laugh then I hear a thud. "Ow!" I hear him yell. I start laughing hard again. Austin just shakes his head. "You're not suppose to roll around like an idiot in your bunk, that's how you fall out." Austin says. I laugh even harder. It hurts but I can't stop. I try calming down but I can't. "Its not that funny." Phil says as he crawls into the front lounge. That just makes me laugh even harder. "Jesus, she thinks every thing is funny." Phil says as he gets up and goes into the kitchen.

I eventually stopped laughing. My cheeks were still hurting though. "I don't want this baby." Austin blurts out. He stops and his eyes go wide. My eyes go wide and I look at Austin. "I didn't mean that." He says fast. "Do you not want to get married either?" I ask him as I get up. "I do baby, I didn't mean it, it's just you're going to give up your dreams because of the baby and it's not fair." I look at him in disgust and shake my head. "You tried to take Robert away just because I made a stupid mistake when I was drunk. I'm not a hypocrite so you either stay with me and support your kids or leave me and stay out of our lives. I'm giving you a month to think about it." I say. I walk to the back lounge and I decide to play with Robert.

"Alan, she hates me. I blurted out that I didn't want the baby, but I didn't mean it."

"Are you sure you didn't mean it?"

"Well yeah, I think."

I slam the back lounge door shut so I don't have to listen to them. "Fucking idiot." I rub my stomach and sit down. "Looks like it's only going to be us three." I whisper to Robert. Life just keeps getting complicated. I feel so alone. I feel like I'm losing everybody. Aaron barely talks to me, Alan still thinks I don't love Austin, Tony went weird, everybody else has their own problems and friends. I miss Morgan and Joel. I miss Alicia, Jasey, Mora, Carlita and Jasper. I want to go home. Maybe after this week, if I'm still unhappy, I'll go home.

After I put Robert to bed I climbed into my bunk and opened my laptop. I signed into skype and immediately got a call from Joel. "Hey girl!" Joel and Morgan shout when I answer. "Hey, I miss you guys." I say. They both laugh, "We miss you too." Morgan says. "How's everything?" Joel asks. I shrug. "I wanna go home, I keep getting into problem after problem. I hate it here. I feel like I have nobody." I sigh and run my hand through my hair. Joel and Morgan look at each other then back at the screen. "Well we have a surprise." Morgan says. "What?" I ask. "We are coming down to your Chicago date." Joel shouts.

I practically scream with excitement. "Oh my god, thats in two days. I can't wait!" I shout. They both laugh. "We can't wait either. Well we have to go. We have a date. See you in two days. Love you." I smile and wave. "Love you too, have fun." they end the call and I shut my laptop.

It was funny how everything didn't really affect me. I was hurt with what Austin said but if that's what he wants then he can leave our lives. I love him more than anything and I'm willing to give up anything for him but not our unborn daughter. That's something I'll never give up. I will be the best mother to our kids and hopefully the best wife to Austin. I know sooner or later it'll all hit me and I'll be an emotional wreck but right now I'm not and I'm glad I'm not.

Sleep time. I put my laptop to the side and I lay down and get under the covers. I yawn and get comfy and before you know it, I fall fast asleep.

Listen to you by The Pretty Reckless. It's an amazing song.