The Sky Under The Sea. {Sequel To Lead Me Out Of The Dark.}

Chapter 4:I'm The Secret.

I arrived home and sat in the car for ten minutes trying to calm down. I kept telling myself to go inside but I couldn't, my heart knew I should be watching Tony. I got out of the car and slowly made my way to the front door. I turned the knob to find it unlocked I walked in to see Austin and Joel sitting on the couch playing xbox. "Babe is everything okay?" Austin paused the game and looked up at me. I shook my head and ran upstairs. I grabbed a bag and threw a change of clothes in it and anything else I needed.

I went back downstairs after kissing Robert and making sure he was okay. "Where are you going?" Austin asked confused. Joel looked up at me and his gaze met mine. He knew what happened. I knew he was hiding stuff from me. "Tony need's me right now. I'm going to spend the night there to make sure he's okay. I'll be back tomorrow." I walked up to Austin and leaned down and kissed him. "Love you."."Love you too Zundra." I grabbed the keys and went outside and closed the door behind me. I got in the car and headed back to Tony's.

I pulled Tony's key out of my pocket and unlocked the door. I walked in and looked around. Everything was the same way, even the table. I took off my shoes and headed upstairs. "Tony?" I called out. I heard a loud smashing noise come from his from. I jumped and ran to his room. "Tony?!" I opened the door to find him sitting on the floor in the dark. I turned on the light to see and Jack Daniels bottle smashed to pieces on the ground. He was drunk, great. "Hey Tonzie, I came to stay the night." He looked up at me. "Go home to your fiancee." He slurred out. I shook my head and he sighed.

I was sitting on the bed trying to talk to Tony but he just wouldn't respond. "Tony Perry, I didn't come here to give you pity, I came here to make sure my best friend was okay to make sure he had somebody here for him so if you're going to treat me like shit then I'll leave." I got up to leave and he grabbed my wrist and pulled me down to sit on the ground. "I'm sorry, I'm just sad." I nodded. It was my fault he was like this. "Tony, I can't explain how sorry I am. I just, I don't know," He looked at me but the sadness in his eyes turned to anger. "Get out of my house." I looked at him confused. "Why?" He shrugged and rolled his eyes. "Just get out." I shook my head. "I refuse to." He got up and stumbled a bit. He picked me up and stumbled to the door. "PUT ME DOWN TONY!" I yelled. He stopped and dropped me. "Ow, fuck you."

I just sat there and rubbed my lower back. That really hurt. "You told me to fucking put you down so I did." He stumbled backwards and fell. I sighed and got up. I leaned down and grabbed his hands to pull him up but he pulled away. "Don't touch me." I groaned, angry now from how he was behaving. "You know what Tony, I'm so sick of you acting like this. I did nothing.!!" He laughed loudly, got up and got in my face. "YOU TOLD ME YOU DIDN'T FEEL THE SAME WAY THEN CAME BARGING IN MY HOUSE AND KISSED ME THEN TURNED AROUND AND SAID IT WAS A MISTAKE!" I pushed him back. "SORRY THAT I WAS CHECKING ON MY BEST FRIEND!" I didn't say anything about the other part because I didn't know what to say. He got in my face again but closed the space and kissed me.He pushed me back and into the wall and put his hands on either side of my body on the wall.

I didn't pull away or push him away because it felt so right, kissing him. He picked me up and wrapped my legs around his waist. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he carried me to the bed laying me on the bed and getting on top of me, but never breaking the kiss. Things heated up so fast. It all happened the way that Austin and I do it. It felt the same, it felt right. Everything I felt with Austin I felt with Tony. It confused me.

Tony and I just laid there naked, holding each other. I got a text from Austin which snapped me back to reality. You're getting married, you have a family. You love Austin. I got out of Tony's grip and backed away from him. I got up and put my clothes on. "Don't tell me you're just going to leave." I looked at Tony in disbelief. "Tony, I just cheated on my soon to be husband who I have a family with." I started crying and Tony got up and put his boxers on before rushing over to me and holding me in his arms. "I'm sorry, I should of stopped. I shouldn't of told you my feelings everything would be fine." I shook my head. "No because then you wouldn't be the same. Just please, if I don't talk to you for awhile its not because I hate you, its because I need time." He nodded and let go of me. I grabbed my bag and headed downstairs. Tony walked me down and opened the door for me. He leaned down and kissed me. "To say goodbye to what happened tonight. I'll be fine by myself don't worry." He hugged me and let me go. "I love you Tonzie." I whispered. He smiled, "I love you too Zunzie." I kissed his cheek and walked to my car and got in quickly.

I got home quickly and got out of my car. I needed to tell Austin. I walked in to see not just Joel and Austin but Shayley and Alan too. "Baby I thought you were spending the night at Tony's." I shook my head. "What happened?" He put the controller down and walked up to me. I backed away and shook my head, "There's something you need to know." I was in tears already. "What?" I grabbed his hand and led him upstairs and into our room. He sat on the bed and I stood in front of him. "At the party today, Tony told me that he was in love with me. I told him that I didn't feel the same way and he left that's why I went to find him. I found him in his bathroom with blood running down his arms. I didn't know what to do. I was scared, I did everything I knew about cuts from my past. He kissed me and I pushed him off, but then everything in my brain just shut down. I kissed him back but then I quickly realized what I was doing and pulled away and came home. I knew I shouldn't leave him alone so that's why I went back to his house. He was drunk and was being an asshole, but then he pushed me against the wall and started kissing me then...uhm..oh god."

I ran to the bathroom and threw up. Austin quickly came in and patted my back. "Its okay. You can tell me." He said while rubbing my back. I flushed the toilet and Austin helped me up. I washed out my mouth then turned and faced Austin. "What happened baby?" I looked down and tears started running down my cheeks. "We...uhm...we had sex. I know I'm such a horrible person. I cheated on my fiancee who I love to death and now I made you think that I don't because I slept with my best friend. I-I..I'm just, I can't lose you. I'm so sorry." Austin stood there and just looked at me. "You guys what?" I shook my head, "Please don't make me say it again." He backed away from me. "Austin please, I just, I don't feel good." Everything was over whelming, I started getting dizzy and light headed. I stumbled backwards into the sink. I grabbed the towel rack and hung on to it. "I can't do this." Austin left the room and I collapsed to the floor.

I woke up on the floor and looked around. I was in the bathroom. I got up quickly and immediately regretted it. I stood there for a few minutes waiting for the pounding in my head to vanish but it didn't. I walked downstairs to see Austin talking to the guys in tears. He didn't leave? They all turned and looked at me with hate in there eyes, that killed me. "I'm sorry." Joel walked over to me and hugged me. "It's okay, he cheated on you before so why should they be so harsh?" Joel whispered. "You're a slut." Alan blurted out. That made me pissed. "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY BUSINESS ASHBY!" I screamed at him. "Watch your mouth you fucking bitch." Alan shot back. Austin didn't even say anything. "Oh so its okay for Austin to cheat on me, but once I do it, everybody hates me and suddenly I'm a slut. I know it was wrong, it was the stupidest thing ever. I don't even know why I did it."

Austin sat there and ignored me the whole time. "Why don't you just leave the house and let Austin be happy with somebody else." I looked at Alan and got up and got in his face. "Shut your fucking mouth before I beat the shit out of you." He laughed and rolled his eyes. "Fuck you, at least I don't cheat." I slapped Alan across the face. "YOU MAY NOT CHEAT BUT YOU SLEPT WITH MY FIANCEE TWICE! HE CHEATED ON ME WITH YOU, HIS EX WIFE AND I DON'T KNOW WHO ELSE! I FORGAVE HIM TWICE SO LAY THE FUCK OFF AND LET AUSTIN DEAL WITH HIS OWN PROBLEMS!."

Nobody was even trying to stop me or Alan from going off on each other. Joel and Shayley went upstairs to get Robert back to sleep but Austin was still just sitting there. "Back the fuck up bitch!" Alan pushed me hard and sent me flying back. "DON'T YOU EVER LAY YOUR HANDS ON HER AGAIN!" Austin got up and tackled Alan. He was throwing punch after punch. I screamed for Joel and Shayley. Joel came running down the stairs and came to my side. Shayley ran down the stairs and tried pulling Austin off of Alan. Joel helped Shayley and soon he was off Alan. I sat there sobbing. This was all my fault.

"Baby, I'm sorry I didn't stick up for you. I'm just hurt, I...I deserve it. I 've been nothing but a bad fiancee and father." I got up and ran upstairs. I couldn't deal with this anymore. I ran into the bathroom and locked myself in there. I opened the cabinet and frantically started searching for something. I was throwing things everywhere. I heard people banging on the door and calling my name but I ignored it. "Jackpot." I whispered. I grabbed a jar of pills and dumped them all in my hands. I shoved them all down my throat and sat on the ground against the wall. This was the end.

"I'm so sorry for hurting you Austin. I'm sorry you guys hate me now. I love you Austin, I love you Robert. I love you Shayley, Joel and Alan. I love you all. I love Tony, Jaime, Vic, Mike. I love everybody who was good in my life. I love you mom and dad, I'll be with you soon." My eyes started closing when I heard the door being broken off its hinges. I heard mumbles from people who looked like blurs. I shut my eyes and everything was gone.