TOXIC (Elizabeth Olsen x G!P OC)

Chp 10. I Need Time

"JORDAN WHAT THE FUCK?!" Lexi yelled as she threw the remote at me and I ducked in time for it to hit the wall behind me, and my jaw dropped and I turned to see if it left a hole in the wall or not. It didn't.

I turned to look at her, a scoff of disbelief leaving my mouth. "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" I yelled at her, and she let out an incredulous laugh and I subtly took a step back.

While I found it a bit hot I wasn't tryna die today, at least not at this moment.

"YOU! YOU ARE MY PROBLEM!" Her hands tugged at her hair and I blinked a few times I saw a few tears fall from her eyes and I frowned. "God, I keep lying to myself and everyone around me but it is you. YOU. Nothing else."

"You're overacting," I said slowly, and she laughed again and I looked around the room for a second before my eyes landed back on her.

"Don't you fucking dare try that shit. Making me feel like I'm crazy for shit you do, I'm tired of it."

"I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!" I yelled, lying right through my teeth and I knew exactly why she was doing what she was doing but I didn't want to argue with her right now.

"So those pictures with you and that bitch that's nothing?" She asked sarcastically and I wanted to correct her for calling Lizzie a bitch but I kept quiet.

"It was for a business meeting I told you that," I said trying to keep my voice calm and leveled, some pictures of me and Lizzie had surfaced quickly after our date and I'm not gonna say that we were even trying to hide it- cause we weren't I knew the potential risks if Lexi seen the pics and she did.

"Right, a business meeting and you're holding hands with her, I'm not fucking stupid Jordan."

"The paparazzi were really pushy you know how they are," I said still trying to keep my voice down and she scoffed again, I cautiously took a step towards her. "Baby, I told you I was gonna do better and I have." Again lying through my teeth, it had gotten so easy to do.

"Jordan-"

"No, I have been better. I haven't done anything wrong and I need you to believe me when I tell you nothing happened between us."

She scoffed, and I blew a breath through my nose. "Where has that gotten me? Believing you? All it does is hurt me and I don't know if I can keep doing this with you."

My heart stopped for a second and my mouth opened and shut. She was thinking of leaving me?

"What do you mean, baby?" I asked slowly, trying to not show my nerves.

"I can't keep doing this. I feel like I'm going crazy." She said and I took another step toward her, but she stepped back. "I can't.. and I thought you would change but you haven't."

"I HAVE!" I said more loudly than I intended and she just stared at me and I took a few deep breaths. "I'm sorry. Baby I have changed I haven't done anything wrong and that woman was just there for business I swear to you." I pulled my phone out of my pocket and went over to her. "Look, look at the texts and you can see it was for the album, baby I'm done fucking with those hoes I just need you."

She only looked at me and then at my phone, and I silently pleaded with her through my eyes and she sighed before taking my phone.

I silently stood there while she read them and I fidgeted with my fingers, I stared at her face while she read trying to catch any expressions that she made but she just read them with a straight face. Before turning off the phone and shoving it in my arms I grunted.

"Okay, you didn't fuck her, but how am I supposed to know- how am I supposed to trust you when you've given me no reason to?"

"I love you."

She just shook her head. "That's not gonna work anymore, you just saying you love me, it's not."

My heart was beating ten times in my chest and I cleared my throat. "Then what do I have to do? I'll do anything you want." I said my tone pleading, hell I was willing to get down on my knees if need be.

"I want you to- I want.. I don't know what I want anymore, Jordan. I just know I'm tired of worrying that every time you go out you're out cheating on me."

"Then I'll stay with you, I won't go out, I don't need to, I'll spend more time with you," I spoke quickly so she would hear the urgency in my voice but she only shook her head.

"You would hate me if you did that."

"What? No, no, I would never hate you. I love you."

She just smiled sadly, and took a deep breath, her hand running through her hair and she looked me in the eyes. "You would hate me." She repeated. "You want to make music, party, and travel, I don't want those things. I want to settle down and have a family, you don't want that."

I bit my lip but stayed quiet, I knew that I didn't want kids and she did, I had told her on one of our dates that I didn't want kids, and at the time she agreed but after watching her friends have kids she brought it up again saying she had lied just because she liked me, but I wouldn't budge I don't want kids.

"I'll have a family with you, I want a family with you- I want a life with you. No one else can give me that I want it with you."

"You don't want me. If you wanted me we wouldn't be having this conversation, where I would feel the need to check your phone or I have to worry constantly when you're not with me. You don't want me."

I took her hands in mine and kissed them both. "I want you, I want you, I don't want anyone but you."

She took her hands from mine and I frowned. "I can't do it anymore Jordan. I need some time." She started to walk away and I couldn't even move.

"Lexi please." I pleaded feeling tears pool in my eyes, it felt like I couldn't breathe, a weight was pressed on my chest, my palms felt sweaty and my vision got blurry. "Please, please." I pleaded again through my gaping breaths and I felt hands on my face.

"Jordan? Jordan, breathe." I just shook my head, I couldn't breathe. "Baby, I need you to breathe." She pressed my head against her chest and I heard her heartbeat in my ears she took some deep breaths and I tried to copy her breathing.

Her hand rubbed my back and I calmed down a bit my vision wasn't blurry anymore and my breathing had somewhat steadied and I held onto her as if she was my lifeline, and at the moment it felt like she was.

"Please don't go," I whispered and she kept rubbing my back. "Please."

"Jordan I need time." She whispered and I bit my tongue.

"How much time?" I asked my voice small, and she shrugged.

"I don't know. But I need some time, and I need you to respect that."

I didn't want to respect that, I wanted her with me. I didn't want her to go away because she needed time, she has time with me, but I knew I had no say in this and just agreed.

"Okay." I let her go and turned away from her to wipe my tears, I shouldn't even be upset, I was the reason we were even here, I fucked up so many times just expecting her to forgive me every time and now she couldn't, and I needed to deal with that.

She went upstairs and packed some of her stuff I just stood in the same spot I was in, I didn't want to watch her, I wanted a drink.

When she came back down I just watched her looking at the bags she had packed, it sure was a lot for her just needing some time, and when the door opened and I saw one of her friends I rolled my eyes of course she did.

She gave me a sad smile as she left and I clenched my hands at my side, I picked up my phone from the floor and texted Jared to see if he wanted to hit up the club tonight, and of course, he did.

I just wanted to forget today and just turn up, not thinking about any of the women I was with, I just wanted to forget.

HELLO, I am back (I think) I just needed some time to get my life together, but I am writing again so more chaps will be out (maybe) but yeh that's it.