TOXIC (Elizabeth Olsen x G!P OC)

Chp 50. LIZ

"When I'm lonely, baby
It's like my friends don't know me
Girl that used to be my homie (my homie)
Left me with a dream she sold me (dream she sold me, yeah)
Even the dreams get lonely
Left me here at three in the mornin'
Questionin' all the things you told me (told me)
Yeah, ayy, ayy"

I stared at my phone watching the lyrics go by feeling worse with every line that was sung, and I hated that she was singing them.

"Baby, it got lost in the heat of the moment
Baby, if you mean it, show it
And if you ever need it or want it, I got you, you know this
And if you ever home alone and need a little company, I'll swing right over
Baby, I'll be right over
Invite me right over, over, over"

If I called her would she come over? If I showed her I meant it would she come and she would stay? If I told her I needed her, or I wanted her would she stay with me through the night and tell me she needed me too?

If I told her I loved her would she say she loved me back? Would she want me back? I doubt it, she hadn't talked to me since we had lunch and she blocked me again, and I couldn't be mad, I did it to myself but I hated it.

"I said I know we ain't on the same page no more
And that's a shame that we ain't, when we used to be so close
Yes, I'm down and I'm drownin' in my sorrows, babe (baby, yeah)
Yeah, yeah"

My heart hurt hearing her singing this, singing about us, and it hurt, even more, to know I was the reason for her sorrows and I felt just as she felt, I was also drowning in my sorrows.

"You don't miss me, babe
Don't know why you're tryin' to convince me, babe
Know there's been somebody else since me, babe
Think I might do the same, don't tempt me, baby
Hit the party and get friendly
Honestly, no, I don't got it in me
It's no fun when you're not here with me"

I did miss her, I missed her like crazy, I didn't want her to go partying, I didn't want her to find someone else I wanted her to come and find me, come find us, and pull us from the hell I put us in.

"It's no wonder you're not here with me, yeah
Yet you tell me there's no way
Yes, you tell me there's no way, way, way (yeah, yeah)
She's like, "How you figure?"
Girl, I seen you around here with him
Trust me, I heard a lot about him
Tell me where you found him
He won't get around you, no, I won't allow it, no (nuh-uh)
Guess it's over now, if you think I don't know by now
Can we slow it down and sort it out now?"

I wanted us to work it out, I wanted to sort it out, make it all better, I would leave Robbie alone id do it for her, without a second thought if it meant I could get her back, I just wanted her in my arms again, to feel her kiss again, god what'd I give to just look her in her eyes again, I had pictures of us on my phone but none of them compared to the real thing.

None captured her smile that seemed to light up a room, none showed the way her eyes light up when she looked at me, and now that spark was long gone, and I'm the one that blew it out.

"You got lost in the heat of the moment
Baby, if you mean it, show it
And if you ever need it or want it, I got you, you know this
And if you ever home alone and you need a little company, I'll swing right over
Baby, I'll be right, yeah"

I got so lost, lost from her, lost from us, and now I'd lost out on her love, the love she tried to give me and I rejected it so many times, I wish I could take it back, accept all the love she was giving not putting her to the side.