Nobody Told Me

It Only Gets Better From Here

"This is not how I imagined it. I don't want to be sad when she comes into the world, but I am, Cooper. Darling, we were on our honeymoon and I wanted to tell you, but then you lost your grandpa, and I didn't want to hurt you anymore. Believe it or not, anything I ever kept from you was to protect you, and I understand how that makes you feel. But I trust you and love you dearly, and I thank you for caring about me. But sometimes you try to protect me just to hurt me. I understand there are things that I'd rather not know about, but things like this, I need to know. I don't want to hear it from anybody else." She said while looking at me.

"I love you too,"  she said, pulling me into a kiss.
"I don't know why I thought you were going to leave me," I say, laughing out loud.
"Come here," she said, pulling me closer to her.
"I'm not going anywhere. Is that the one thing you're afraid of?" Freya asks, looking into my eyes.

"You're the best thing that ever happened to me, and I don't think I can ever let you go," I say while rubbing her belly.
"I know I wasn't the best boyfriend at times, but nobody told me how good it could get."
"I wish somebody told me the hell it would bring and the people it could kill."
"Would you have backed out?" Cooper asks.
"Probably not," I say as we both laugh.
                              
I slowly open my eyes to see my husband looking at me.
"Did you ever go to sleep?" I ask.
"No, I couldn't," he says, holding my hand.
"I'm going to be fine," I say as Dr. Orion walks into the room.
"We're going to give you this shot to make sure you don't feel anything. Quick and easy. Don't worry too much, father; I am the best at what I do. There will be me and three other nurses. All you have to do is relax."

"Are you not going to look?" I ask.
"Cooper, I can't stand the idea of someone cutting you."
Then, out of nowhere, we hear a little cry. One of the nurses lays baby Ava on my chest.
"She stopped crying," I look up at Cooper with tears in my eyes, only to see he was crying as well.

"She's so beautiful," he says, rubbing her hair softly.
They let Cooper cut the cord while they finish my surgery.                                                                         
                                  ***
I hold my baby girl in my arms as her mother sleeps. This new feeling that I'm experiencing cannot be explained in words. Ava opens her little eyes slowly, looking into mine. They are ocean blue, just like mine.
"You want milk?" I say as she tries to suck on my chest.
I place her into Freya's arms as she wakes up.
"You can go back to sleep, darling. I'm just going to feed her."
"It's okay," she said, pulling out her breast so that the baby can get some milk.

"She doesn't play about her food," I joke.
"I wonder who she gets that from," I say, looking up at her.
"Cooper, don't make me laugh! My stomach!" she said, trying to hold her laughter in.
"Do you need any more medicine?" I ask her.
"No, I feel amazing," she said, smiling.
                                   ...
It has been one month now. We've gotten the hang of things, and Cooper is so much better at changing diapers. Ava is a good baby; she has met her crazy uncles and aunts. They love her so much; I'm pretty sure Milo thinks Ava is his baby at this point. Cooper has to make him give her back. We have amazing support, and I couldn't be happier. Meanwhile, my husband is counting down the days until he can touch me again. I don't think he's insecure or impatient; he just can't seem to keep his hands off me. 
I find myself feeling low out of nowhere. I don't really understand my feelings because I love everything that's in front of me, but my heart feels one way while my mind thinks another.

I didn't realize how bad my trust issues were until I had a baby. She had to be in my eyesight at all times, and I know Cooper's family and mine won't hurt her, but I feel better knowing she's okay. Ava brings us so much joy, even though there's still a side of me that is uneasy. Cooper tells me to just relax, but that's easier said than done.

"All the things I said were out of anger, Freya. I was never going to hurt you. Please save me, Freya. Don't let them hurt me."
I wake up to baby Ava crying. I keep having this weird dream about June asking for my help.
"It's okay, baby girl. Mama's got you," I say as I breastfeed her. I look at the clock to see it's only two in the morning. Once I finally get baby Ava down and am able to lay back down, Cooper pulls me closer to him.

It didn't take my surgery long to heal; most of the time, I was on medication, so I didn't feel a thing. When my scars healed, and I was able to take a shower, it was the best feeling in the world. Cooper is doing an amazing job as a father.
                                   ***
"Is Freya still asleep?" Ms. Lara asks as she holds baby Ava.
"Yeah, she should be up soon. I've got to take care of some business. Are you sure you can handle her?" I ask, looking at security.
"If she acts just like her mama, yes, I can," Lara said, laughing.
"Don't say I didn't warn you."
                                     ***
"Cooper, I thought you said you would make him better!" Tessa cries.
"I've never seen him act like this before. Tessa, what is he on?" I ask her.

"I don't know! You need to go out there and find him before he kills someone."
"My team is already working on it. If I have to guess, he's probably looking for June. I literally gave him everything he asked for—probably more—and he still wants revenge," she said, wiping her eyes.

Both of our heads turn toward the opening door. There was Waylon; he had that look in his eye.
"What the hell did you do?" I ask him, noticing the blood on his shirt.

He said nothing as he pulled his shirt off over his head, walking into the master bedroom.
I pick up my ringing phone.
"Is she dead?"

"No, boss. He got into a street fight with another man who's currently in the hospital."
"Did he even know the dude?" I ask, frustrated.
"I'm afraid not, but Hudson was with June, and after doing some background checks, that's your wife's ex."

I hang up the phone, clenching my fists.
"Waylon!" I call out his name as he walks out of the room, water dripping from his hair. By my facial expression, he knows he better start talking.

"When June came back into town, she brought that Hudson dude with her. I don't know what she told him to make him think he had a chance with Freya, but she was going to use him to mess up you and Freya. Hudson found out June was lying after he saw a family picture of y'all in the magazines. So that pissed him off even more, knowing that somebody else had something that was once his. That's why I handled it," Waylon said, smiling wide.
"So you were protecting my family and not trying to kill your crazy ex?" I ask.
"Pretty much," Waylon said, laughing.
"It's not funny, Waylon; you scared me," Tessa said, looking down.
Before Waylon pulled her into a kiss, I turned to leave, a smirk on my face. I wouldn't dare question my best friend about how he knows all this information. It takes one to know one.
                                 ***
"Would you like anything else, sir?" Chloe asks as Milo looks up from his computer.
"Come here," he says, pulling her into a kiss.
                                 ***
Cooper finally convinced Enzo to take some days off now that his sister is okay. "Where are we going?" his fiancée asks.
"Wherever the wind takes us," Enzo says, getting into the car.
As they drive off, Cooper and I settle back into our routine. The love between us feels deeper now, enriched by the challenges we've faced and the joy of parenthood.