The Hot Hockey Player

Chapter 24 - Jude 🏒

I find Madeline waiting for me just outside the ice. I shower quickly and I find her chatting with Katia and Lily, John and Zack's wives. I didn't see her during practice so she must have just arrived. Despite being the last one off the ice, I was the first out of the locher room. At that fact, the guys teased me about it and even William, which feels like a breakthrough to be honest. But the moment he noticed my softened gaze on him, he froze on spot, kind of embarrassed. I still smiled noticing how his ears turned crimson red. We agreed to talk later and he didn't even try to complain ; he sensed the seriousness in my tone. 

I spot Maddy and stride toward her, but something — or rather someone — makes me stop in my tracks. 

Lena.

My sister's here.

I though she was still in San Fransisco, attending a medical conference. My sister's a pediatric surgeon. She's my best friend and her surprising me like that is unexpected. But I love it. I pass Maddy and grab her elbow as I do and drag her along with me to see my sister. She knows very well who my sister is but only because she saw pictures of her. She once told me she thought we were very much alike : same dirty blond her, curly head and same features. Basically I'm my older sister, with a dick and less hair. That's how she put it. 

Maddy clings to my side, shyness taking over her, overwhelming her almost but I can feel — behind this apprehension — her excitement. She told me she wanted to meet her. My sister's amazing and I'm sure they're going to get along just well. I've the biggest smile on my face and it only grows bigger when Maddy extends her arm for Lena to take it. She's fighting her shyness for me, to meet someone dear to me and I can only be grateful to her for it. The gesture, though small, fills me with gratitude. 

"Hi, I'm Madeline, Jude's—" 

Before she can finish, Lena cuts her off.

What the hell ?

"What the fuck Jude ? Who is she ?", Lena spits in my direction, anger clearly written on her face and eyes darting between me and Maddy.

"She's my girlfriend. What's wrong with you ?" I retort, confused by her hostility. 

And then she laughs. A dry, humorless sound that echoes with disbelief. I don't understand and I keep asking myself, in the short timelapse allowing me to think, who is this girl  ? She's not mean, Lena is not supposed to be a threat to any of my relationships. She's not mean. She can't be. But right now. With Madeline ? She's being a bitch.

"What's wrong with me ?", she snaps, her expression shifting to an exasperated one. "What is wrong with me Jude is that you're making the same mistake. Again."

Fuck. I swallow hard, a lump forming in my throat before I can finally reply, firmly. "If this is about Isabella, you're wrong. She's nothing like her."

And I mean it.

"Isn't she ?", Lena counters, her voice laced with pain. "Because yet at first, you thought she was the love of your life Jude. Don't you see ?" 

I keep telling myself, she's only looking out for me. She wants me to be happy. Nothing more, nothing less. 

 "She's after your fame and your money, just like Isabella was."

She folds her arms across her chest and glances dismissively at Maddy, judging her from her high horse.

"And I bet she's poor," she adds, spitting venom. She doesn't know she's not far from the truth. Maddy's not the richest girl I've been with and as I told her multiples times by now, I don't fucking care. This is the least of my worry now that I know her. After Isabella, I think I can make the difference between a snake and an angel. Madeline's the latest.

The jab lands, but Maddy doesn't flinch. I would have. I know I would. But nothing's getting out of my mouth. I say nothing and the silence cuts deep. I can already feel something breaking between Maddy and I. She must feel like I'm not fighting for her. And maybe I am but I don't know why I can't utter a word against my sister. 

One glance over Maddy makes me understand how a douchebag I'm being right now. I promise myself to tell her everything about my last relationship but first, I need to stop Lena. "I need you to stop. Right now." I say firmly, locking eyes with her, one hand stretched toward her to make her take a step back. 

"No Jude !" she fires back, taking a step forward. "I'm not going to pick up the pieces again. it hurt me too much seeing you like that. Don't you understand ? Dont' you remember how wrecked you were after you finally put an end to this relationship with the fucking bitch ? I'm absolutely not letting you do it another time." 

She payses, her expression softening for a brief moment. 

She wants the best for me. 

She wants the best for me. 

She wants the best for me, but she hurt Maddy. 

"I came here because I needed to talk to you about something." she says quietly, almost hesitantly.

I frown. Is something wrong with her ?

"But that can wait now," she continues, her tone hardening again. "I'm so glad I came today to see this and stop this."

I laugh bitterly, the sound hollow. "You're not stoping anything. I don't think so. You need to chill the fuck down. I'm 25 years old for God's sake, I can make my own decisions about who I'm seeing, who I'm dating and who I fuck. Right now, that girl over there," I gesture toward Maddy, "is helping me doing all of this. And so much more. I'm happy Lena."

I didn't see it but Maddy has moved to stand beside me, likely trying to see what's wrong with my sister, even if I didn't talk in her name, even if I just let my blood criticize her. When Lena's gaze shifts to her, she doesn't even bother to reply or simply acknowledge what I just told her.

"Why is shy following us ?" She sneers. "You used to keep your conquests out of your personal life."

I sigh heavily, now really bothered even if I try not to show it, "She's not one of my conquest Lena. Please, stop being so cruel."

"I don't like her," she declares bluntly. 

I throw my arms above my head before shouting, exasperated by her five years-old behavior. "You don't even know her!"

"I don't need to know her when she looks so much like her. Even her eyes Jude ! What the hell is wrong with you ?"

I never thought about that but know that she's pinpointing this fact, I can't unsee it. Doubt creeps in, unwelcome but present nonetheless. Did I really fall for Madeline because she reminded me, in the most twisted way, of Isabella ? Is this the reason I've been obsessed with her ? 

I can see Madeline being confused as fuck, and frankly, I don't understand a thing. I was ready to tell her about Isabella but it looks like I'm a coward. I can't think straight. My chest tightens with manic. I need to reassure her and to reassure myself. But at the same time, I don't want to upset my sister. She's doing this because she loves me. And Madeline will understand. 

"Lena, we'll talk about that later, please stop talking," I say with closed eyes, which opened just after hearing a scoff from Madeline. She's looking at me with disbelief and sadness and it breaks my heart. 

When it clicks. 

The realization shatters something inside me, sharp, unforgiving. What the fuck is wrong with me ? Of course she's not like Isabella, she's not her and she's nothing like her. Guilt takes over my feelings, over my senses. Silence weighs a tone on my shoulders. I want her to say something. Lena planted her insecurities on right before my eyes. How could I have let her ? Madeline deserves better than me standing here, frozen like a fucking snow-man while my sister tears her apart. Seeing her eyes full of water is the worse in all that. She can't be crying because of me. She can't. She can't. But she is.

And it's my fault. 

Lena, true to her latest self, has to het the last word in. She could have avoided it and she knows that. This fucking look I don't recognize on her face, says it all. With an icy voice, she ends both of us. "Don't make the same mistake twice Jude. There's only rotten behavior to get from girls like her."

Fuck me.