The Hot Hockey Player

Chapter 29 - Madeline 🌸

I'm waiting for a reaction from my brother but nothing comes. I even start to wonder if he registered what I just said. He's frozen, like a statue.

"Matt ?" I call softly and finally, then man blinks.

Once. Twice. Three times, before his eyes dart from me to Jude and then back again, from Jude to me.

"Huh ?" is his answer. Very demure and somehow eloquent. 

"Yeah," I reply and I decide to go with the truth. "Do you remember me fainting on a plane ? Well, he basically saved me."

I see the look in Jude's face and he looks uncomfortable.

"Yeah... I did help with that," he mumbles with a hand rubbing the back of his neck nervously. 

It's a nervous habit and I find this cute, even if he's clearly struggling right now. He can't even meet my brother's eyes. He continues. "But truly, my best friend Colin — who's also a diabetic by the way — and our team's doctor helped even more. So uh, not everything was on me... really." 

He's cute when he's nervous and I can't help but giggle a bit.

My eyes then wonder to his frame by the door. He's handsome, I'll never say it enough. The black shirt he's wearing clings to his arms so tightly, straining around the muscles that look like they're begging for freedom. Veiny forearms rest casually at his sides and basically staring at me.

My eyes allow themselves to take a look at his big hands. His very large, capable and fascinating hands. And then, there's the grey sweatpants that fucking hang low on his hips and that perfectly showcase his toned thighs. And do I need to mention I'm struggling not to stare down there ? It's staring at me. Well... maybe not as much considering my brother and I are both looking at the same man and he doesn't seem bothered by his clothing. 

Fuck. My brother's here. The least I can do, as the situation is getting more and more awkward, is to NOT stare.  

My eyes flick away before I get busted and when I finally manage to look at Jude's face, I caught him already looking, a smirk on his lips. I roll my eyes but smile nonetheless.

It seems my brother caught the exchange, but doesn't say anything. Instead, he says something that stings a little. "Why didn't you tell me anything ?"

I scoff, the words rolling out before I can stop them. "You're hiding your person from me too Matthew."

He's a bit taken aback by my answer but his gaze softens a bit. "I know. And I'm sorry. I will present her to you, I need your approval after all."

I laugh, but it's not a happy one. It's not the one coming out my lips when Jude makes me happy. It's a hurt one. "You don't need my approval Matthew, you can date whomever you want, be it a boy, a girl, someone older, younger. Well maybe there's a limit to how young but nonetheless, I'll be happy for you. I'll try to get along with that person as much as I can, and even if we don't, I'll never jeopardize your relationship. If that person makes you happy, then so be it. I'll be happy for you too."

I said that out loud, words unfiltered. I guess it's been bothering me since I moved in with my brother. I, now feel a little exposed. And maybe that's why it's hitting me so hard. I don't have a problem to show love when needed, but... from the outside ? It must look like I'm jealous, needy or something. But it's the truth right ? I would support him with anyone he chooses, no matter what. I just want him to trust me enough on this. 

But he's also right, I'm complaining about his lack of communication and I'm doing exactly the same thing. Why didn't I tell him anything ? And slowly, as minutes pass, I come to a realization, a hard one : maybe I didn't want him to know this part of me. Maybe, I was actually waiting for his approval and I would never have been ready for a negative answer. And just maybe, this is how he felt too...