The Hot Hockey Player

Chapter 42 - Madeline 🌸

NDA : 

Hi guys, I hope you're doing good. I have a few things to say to you : 

- My exams are over (finally haha), so I'll be able to post again and on a more regular basis. It's been three weeks and I know it's a bit much, but really, I couldn't find the time to post... I hope you understand 🥹

- Thank you sooo much for the 5k. It makes me so happy that so many of you love this book. I know it's not perfect and I have a lot to work on but I'm trying to learn while doing it. I hope the next ones will be better and there's no reason it won't be. For me, for you and for everything you'll ever start in your life ✨ Believe in you ✨

- Finally, I wanted to take the time to thank you again (yes haha). To everyone  who added this book to their reading list, to the few a you who now follow me, for the likes and just for reading these chapters. I don't know if I should thank each and every one of you individually.  I think I should but I'm afraid of being 'too much'. On that point, I think I look like a bit like Madeline. But I don't think any less of it. So thank you again. Don't hesitate to reach out and talk to me, whether in the comments or privately. My DMs are open 🫶🏻

* ENJOY THIS CHAPTER * 

⚠️TW : Mention of  bullying ⚠️

I let out a heavy sigh as I sit down on a chair at the library, planning to study a bit before my shift. The day passed by quickly but it was — undeniably — a lonely one. 

Colin ended up leaving for training and we only had a class together in the afternoon due to his schedule. I was with Sofia in every one of them but we never spoke. Nah, we just glanced at each other without making any move. We were pretty stupid but I didn't know how to approach her, and I guess she didn't either. I know I didn't do anything wrong and despite my desire to ease all this awkwardness, I couldn't shake the feeling of distance and I just couldn't go to her.

It's just in my nature. When I feel unwanted, my mind spirals and I lose all ability to think clearly. So I can't be around that person for fear of being 'too much'. And I know deep down that it's not like that... That she's just processing what happened between her and Colin. And even if I don't know anything about it, I can't blame her. I cope with stress and negative thoughts differently and it's her own way to deal with it. It hurts, but there's nothing I can do, until we talk it through.

And it's going to happen, I know it. I just want to know when.

I sigh again before opening my clinical psychology book, trying to focus on my notes on the side. As I begin to complete them, I can feel someone sitting next to me. I look up and see Sofia.

I'm so caught off guard that I don't react right away.

In return, her features soften and she smiles at me gently, bringing me back down to earth. "Sofia to Maddy, are you with me."

"Yes, yes sorry. I just... didn't excepted you to.. talk to me," I whisper back, closing and opening my eyes to make it real. 

It's real, silly. 

But I immediately feel guilty when I saw her wince at my words. There's nothing wrong with them, but I can tell it hurt her. We look ridiculous, whispering to each other in a library full of students preparing for their exams.

"I'm sorry," she says, her voice sincere.

I don't say anything, because if I do, I think I'll break down and she must sense it, because she sighs, almost painfully, before taking my hand in hers. I just nod, and somehow, that's enough for her.