Insecurity (Edited)

Chapter 17: California Nights.

(Rebecca)

I arrived in Anaheim, California in 5 hours, it was a smooth flight. It was 6 pm and I was looking for my brothers around the arrival hall, "Rebecca!", double voice called, I turn around and I see Race and Raiden running towards me and attacking me with a hug, "Race! Raiden!", I hugged them, "We missed you so much little sis.", Race rubbed my hair messing it up, "I missed you too Race.", I smiled, "Beca! Come here.", Raiden pulled me into one of his tight hugs, if anyone knows how to give the warmest, most amazing hugs then its my brothers, "Come on, mother is waiting for you.", Race told me, they helped me take my bag to Raiden's car and we drove off home.

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I got home and the amount of happiness that rushed through me when I saw my mother, "Mommy!", I hugged her tightly, "My beautiful daughter, look at you all grown up and gorgeous.", she observed me, I haven't seen her in months, and I can't go to California so much because of work. "I missed you mom.", I told her, "I missed you too sweetheart.", she said, "Come on now you three, go change and have dinner, I made you your favorite meal.", my mom said, "Mac and Cheese.", my brothers and I said together making my mother laugh, "By the way, this is Blue!", I opened the cage and Blue came out slowly, "Hey there little guy.", Raiden greeted him, "Don't be shy Blue, come out now.", I took Blue out and my brothers just played with my Husky dog before even changing, "He is gorgeous Rebecca.", my mom said, "I found him on the side of the street in New York and wounded, I took him to a vet and I just couldn't abandon him in a shelter or something.", I told her the quick story.

I went to my room and it was just the same as I left it, if anything it felt smaller than I last came here. Not that my room in New York is big but I just haven't seen this room in so long. I changed and I went down only to meet two brunette girls in the living room, one with each of my brothers and a little boy sitting next to Race, and I immediately recognized them as Race's wife and Raiden's girlfriend, "Rebecca!", Emily, Race's wife, ran to me and hugged me, she is 3 years younger than Race and they have a boy named James, "I missed you so much.", she said, "I missed you too Emily.", I told her, "Beca!", James came running into my arms, he is 3 years old and 'Beca' was all he was able to call me since he was able to talk, "I missed you little guy.", I told him and I put him down, "Hey Rebecca.", Peyton, Raiden's girlfriend greeted me with a hug, "Hey Peyton, how are you ?", I asked, Peyton was just my age and maybe even a month younger. "I'm good Rebecca, and you ?", she asked, "I'm great.", I told her.

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We finished dinner together, Race and Emily went home and Raiden was in his room with Peyton while I stayed in the living room by the fire, covered up and resting on my mother's lap. "What's bothering you dear ?", she asked, she always knew I had something on my mind when I wouldn't speak much, and I can't hide anything from her, "There's a guy.", I told her, "And ?", she asked, "He said he loved me but, I didn't feel the same way.", I admitted, "Why ?", she asked, "I just don't feel that way mom, my friends back in New York tried setting me up with 5 guys since I graduated and I just can't find a perfect match, at least I don't want to.", I told her, "Why dear you are missing out on an important part of your life.", she told me, "Why is that ?", I asked, "Well, for a reason here, you are not living your life unless you fall in love at least once dear.", she said, "But mom I don't want to date or get married. I just feel like I'm not ready for a commitment like this yet, I don't think I'll ever be.", I admitted, "Listen to me Rebecca, I am not going to force you to fall in love, but all I can do is talk some sense into you. Without love you will be alone for the rest of your life, you may be traveling the world now, meeting people, gaining experience but you are missing out on the joy of love. It may have its ups and downs but that's what every relationship gets stronger with, if you and your partner can face things together then guarantee a good life Rebecca.", she said, "The feeling when you first fall in love, how you would look at that special someone and the room just lightens up and he just stands out from the crowd. Your first date, first kiss, you'll experience it all for the first time and I promise you Rebecca, its all worth it.", she told me, "And besides, I am not staying around for so long and you know it dear, I want to see you and Raiden have your first child while I'm still alive.", she added, "You'll stay alive longer than this mom, just don't talk like that.", I told her, she chuckled, "Anyways sweetheart, give that young man a chance, you don't know what turn your life could make. And don't deny insecurity my child, everyone has a little bit of it and some worry as well when falling love, you just need to try.", she played with my hair for a bit before she went upstairs and slept.

I went back to my room and I opened my phone to find a message from Luke. I didn't want to open it but my fingers unwillingly tapped the screen and went to the message;

Okay, I know you're on your annual leave, I know you're still mad at me, I know you probably hate me right now but I am so sorry Rebecca, I couldn't help it that night. Knowing you for so long, spending so much time with you, those late night talks, Rebecca I've fallen for you since high school. Those two weeks I left I thought would make me forget about you and move on but I didn't, I couldn't. I tried staying up to date with what you do and how you are since I left Cali High and at times I would lose you and I never thought we would cross roads again but I am glad I ran into you that night at the bar. I love you Rebecca, I know you don't feel the same way and I won't force you to change your mind but you are worth every try and every fight if I have to. I'm sorry Rebecca.

I stopped processing anything at this moment and I just dropped my phone aside and I laid in my bed just staring into nothingness. I don't know how to feel right now, I can't feel anything, its not an inhumane feeling, but I just can't seem to be able to describe it.

Writer's Note: Chapter 17! Mama Forde is talking some sense to Rebs, eh ? Anyways, enjoy it x