Insecurity (Edited)

Chapter 21: You are Worth it and More.

(Rebecca)

I woke up to the sound of rain. I look to Luke's room's window and raindrops were smashing it like its trying to break in. The room was darker than it was when we went to sleep together. I look at Luke and he is peacefully sleeping, I don't know but I find it very amusing to just gaze at him, is this what he meant when he told me it depends on my feelings ? The feeling of security and satisfaction ? He moved a bit and his eyes opened. He looked down at me and we didn't speak, he just looked into my eyes and rubbed the back of my hand that rest on his chest. I didn't look away, neither did he, and it was beginning to feel awkward but I somehow got used to it.

"How do you feel ?", he broke the silence with a whisper, "About this.", he gestured to us, "I...", I began, what did I feel ? Happy ? Relaxed ? Pleased with it ? And don't get me started on the semi-zoo running in my guts when we move a little, "I don't know, its mixed.", I whispered, "Okay.", he said, "You'll get used to it, hopefully.", he told me.

"Can I ask something ?", I whispered, I have no idea why we are talking in whispers but I like it, he seems to like it too. We spent almost 15 minutes in another deathly silence until I began talking, "What is it ?", he asked, "Why did you agree to help me ?", I asked, "What do you mean ?", he asked, "I mean, you know I reject people, you know I am not interested, I rejected you without even saying it, I ignored your messages for days and you still fought through it. Why ?", I asked, he went silent, his eyes met mine and he traced the fingers on his right hand through my hair and kept his eyes locked in mine, "You're worth every fight Rebecca. I'm not helping you through this for my pleasure but to get you through it. I left those 2 weeks before so I can try and possibly forget about ever being with you but I couldn't. I can't seem to get you out of my mind Rebs.", he said, "I know you're speechless right now but that's fine.", he held my face in his cold hands, I didn't even flinch at his touch, maybe because I'm just as cold as he is. He moved a little towards me and planted a kiss on my forehead, at this point I was frozen, paralyzed on all levels, literal, figurative, emotional, physical, mental. He let out a smile and he just went back to sleep.

My mom was right about experiencing those first feelings, it felt weird but also good. Maybe trying to work things out won't be so bad after all.

Writer's Note: Chapter 21. #LubeccaIsOTP :") This chapter is very short, I know that, and I apologize for it being short. :P Enjoy x