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DREA -
My wedding is in forty-eight hours and instead of focusing on that, I've been working hard to avoid thinking about. Since I've started my business, I never got my hands dirty but today, I found anything that would keep me preoccupied.
Nervous isn't the word to describe what I am, nor am I having second thoughts but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared and if you give too much thought to something, it'll become your reality. There's no doubt in my mind that Marco is made for me, so it's not him that I'm worried about. It's me. I'm great at fucking up a good thing and the last I want to do is ruin what we have.
Everything has to be perfect.
"Drea."
The sound of my name being called made me stop what I was doing and turn around. Marco walked my way, Maddie holding his hand. I knew it was a matter of time before he popped up. "Everybody blowing my phone up looking for you. What you doing here?" He asked.
"Working."
"Two days before our wedding? We supposed to be finalizing shit but nobody can get ahold of you."
"I'll get to them once I'm done here."
I could feel him staring at me as I went back to what I was previously doing.
"I'm not about to do this shit with you." Marco came and snatched the paint brush out my hand and tossed it, causing a mess. "Why wait two days before our wedding to be on some bullshit?"
"How is me working some bullshit?"
"Because it is! As long as you've been doing this, you ain't never picked up a hammer, a paint brush, none of that. Let's go dawg."
"Mar—."
"Let's go. I'm not arguing with yo ass!"
Exhaling, I went and grabbed my phone and wallet then walked out.
"I'll meet you at home." Marco yelled as I climbed in my car.
Speeding away, I headed towards the house and once again my mind was running a thousand miles a minute. Not only was this wedding freaking me out, the thought of my dad being there was killing me. It didn't even set in until my mom asked how I wanted to honor him. I had to stop myself from having a panic attack, and just told her that I had to think about it. Whenever I thought about it, I cried.
Even though I now know that I'm not fully responsible for him being gone the guilt is still ten fold.
Pulling into the driveway, I turned off my car and grabbed my things. Marco and Maddison pulled up shortly after. When Marco climbed out the car, the annoyed look on his face was clear as day. This isn't the energy I wanted us to have, so I had to shake this feeling.
Walking inside the house, I dropped my keys in the bowl by the door and kicked off my expensive shoes that were now covered in paint. I made my way upstairs and into the bathroom to shower.
