Are You Afraid of Musicals?

Chapter 4.3: Haunted

Gabby's pov:

It's been almost two weeks since the day of the final and I'm finally getting rid of the cast on my foot tomorrow. Hopefully I won't need the crutches either cause I really can't take it anymore.

I've been going to the hospital regularly as the doctor wanted to check on my recovery, and he kept insisting that I was very lucky.

I "only" had a first degree sprain, so two weeks with the cast would be enough, but he also kept saying that I had to be more careful from now on.

When I told him about what happened he kept repeating that I shouldn't have ended the match, that it was a reckless thing to do, and I couldn't help myself from feeling a bit guilty for not telling him the whole truth, for not telling him that I've been injured for weeks.

So I was definitely lucky when my ankle wasn't as hurt as it should be, cause after two weeks, I'm desperate for taking this thing out off of my foot and finally be free.

I'm an active person, I've always liked sports and being on a cast and crutches it have definitely been very difficult. When I'm nervous or I feel my anxiety taking over, I like to go for a walk or a run, nothing too rough but just enough to relax myself and not being able to do so, on the finals week, was hard.

I had my last final yesterday and between not being able of letting go of the stress and what happened last week, my head was everywhere but where it had to be. I've been studying so hard for this and I think that given the circumstances I did well, but I can't shake the feeling that I could've done better.

The image of Dani kissing Mack is still shucked into my head, how I felt when I woke up alone in Dani's bed, how I felt in the bathroom when she left...

But then I remember when she wore my hoodie, when she hugged me after the game, when I found my crutches right beside the bed... and I'm so confused.

I know I have to be mad at her, and I am mad. But all of those little details, little things that usually go unnoticed, are the ones that show that she cares and are the ones that are leaving me confused and worried.

I hate myself for being worried, she does not deserve me caring for her, but I haven't seen her since last Monday after she left the bathroom, she's missing classes and she's in Chemistry and History with me, so I know that she's missing exams too, at least those two.

I was already planning to ignore her, of showing her that she can't play with me like she did, but I didn't expect for her to literally disappear.

My head keeps going back to what happened in the bathroom, to what I said, to how I didn't let her even talk. But I was so mad, so hurt, I felt so betrayed.

I know that we weren't anything, but having sex with me and then leaving me alone the next morning to go straight to Mack... that was hard.

I can't stop thinking that there must be a reason, that I should've let her talk, but she took my first time like it was nothing and I can't give that pass.

I hate myself for being empathetic, for always thinking that there's a reason, for still caring for someone that has shown so many times that does not care about me, but this time I need to keep it together.

I won't back up, I just have to survive tomorrow and next week, and then I'll have the whole summer break to forget about Dani and this whole mess.

-Gabby, are you listening?-

Hanna's voice cuts through my thoughts, bringing me back to reality and making me realize that I zoned out, all of my friends giving me confused looks now.