Are You Afraid of Musicals?

Chapter 4.7: New Light

Gabby's pov:

For what it feels for forever but also just a moment, I let it all go. I let myself cry in Gina's arms, letting out all the desperation and helplessness I felt when I was not able to reach Dani.

I know everything I need to do in this situations, I knew how to help her, I knew every breathing exercise, every grounding exercise, but I was so scared that I could only watch her spiral further and further, completely helpless, completely surpassed by the situation.

I let my fear take over when she didn't listen and I could only cry and make things worse. I can still feel the way my heart shattered when I saw the pure terror into her eyes, when I saw the way she flinched, when I saw her trapped, pressing her body against the wall with her eyes closed shut, ready for me to hit her.

At that thought I close my own eyes for a moment, trying to erase that image from my mind, taking a deep breath and letting Gina's touch ground me.

I don't know for how long I've been crying, I don't know for how long we've been here, just sitting on the floor as Gina side hugs me, gently tracing small circles on my upper arm as she stays with me.

I open my eyes to look at Dani, smiling through my tears as I take in her slow, even, relaxed breathing. I just look at her for a moment, letting my hand reach her cheek to carefully caress it with my thumb as I try to match her breathing, calming myself but unable to stop a few more tears from escaping my eyes to run down my cheeks.

I know I'm staring, I know I'm being everything but subtle, but I can't bring myself to care in the slightest. I thought I've lost her, for a brief moment I really thought that everything had ended right there and then, and the void I felt was... I don't even want to think about it.

I'm not loosing her ever again, I'm not letting her go through something like this ever again and if I can't stop it from happening, at least I won't let her feel like she has to go through it alone ever again.

-You better?- Gina asks softly, bringing me back to reality.

I instantly look at Dani before answering, holding her tight and taking in her calmed breathing again, making sure that she's still ok even if I checked on her 5 seconds ago.

-I... I think so...- I say, my voice shaky and small as I let my head fall to the side, letting it rest on Gina's shoulder.

She tilts her head to the side, resting it on mine as she brings one of her hands to my face, carefully wiping my tears.

-Don't worry, she's ok.-  She reassures, squeezing my body against hers when she hears my unsure voice.  -She'll wake up and be the same pain in the ass she's always been in no time.-

Her voice is light and I find myself weakly chuckling at her joke. But the way she's reassuring me, the way she's able to joke, the way she stopped trying to reach Dani as if she knew what was going to happen... she didn't even flinched when Dani fell.

I straighten myself, taking my head out of her shoulder to be able to look at her in the eye as mine loose sight of Dani for the first time since she fainted.

-How can you be so calmed?- I ask.

Cause I feel defeated, I feel like I failed her, I feel like I've never been so scared in my whole life.

At my question Gina sighs, looking forward for a moment to then look back at me, a tiny sad smile forming on her lips before talking.

-Cause this is not the first time that something like this happens.- She says, her voice lower now, almost melancholic, tired.